Year 853
Mikasa clutches Eren's hands tightly through the bars, her tears dripping onto the cold hard bricks beneath their feet.
"Don't leave me…." She whispers, quietly but clearly.
It was very rare to see Mikasa crying. Armin had only ever seen it once, yet he isn't in a mood to be surprised about it, because he shares those very same feelings.
"Eren, surely this isn't necessary!" Armin wants to say so much that he could burst, yet this is all he can manage. Because really, he already knows. He knows, that…
"I shall die." Eren looks his two dear, dear friends in the eye, and repeats with flawless determination, "I shall die. Only then can humanity attain true peace, in a world without titans."
"That's preposterous! You are no threat to peace, and we all know it!"
"Those bastards just don't like the idea of you having more power than them!"
"That's right, I'm sure that if we let Commander Erwin and Corporal Levi convince everyone that you're not an enemy, then…"
"Everyone in the 104th Squad, everyone in the Recon Corps, we all….believe in you. We all want a future alongside you as your proud comrades!"
Eren opens his mouth to rebut, but then reconsiders. He is well aware that a large portion of the Recon Corps still bears hostility towards him for being a monster. But that doesn't matter. Not in the least. He is not going to his death for those people.
Eren pulls his hands away in an attempt to stop their frenzy. After Mikasa and Armin seem calmer, he softly slides his hands across theirs and looks them in the eye again.
"Calm down, guys. Listen to what I have to say. This is the best choice, and the right choice."
Both Mikasa and Armin open their mouths, but then swallow their words again after seeing the silent plea in Eren's eyes.
"Starting from when Annie appeared as a Titan, I have been involved in many battles where innocent people died because of me. Either because of my rampage during battle, or simply because they were ordered to protect me with their lives. I...My very life, must uphold the responsibility that comes with the lives of all those people. They didn't die for 'me'; if they did, then that would've been death in vain. What they died for was my power; in other words, for the sake of a peaceful future. Now, I can finally see it. I can see that wonderful, glorious future opening before my eyes! If, in the eyes of the public, my existence as the last Titan is all that is obstructing this future, then my execution will become the final decisive moment that marks the end of this era; this era of fear, suffering and loss."
Taking a breath, Eren tightens his grip on their hands.
"But more importantly, that is also how I feel. I want to be free of this burden, and I want to know that both my existence and my death have contributed to the wonderful future that is to come. So please, please Mikasa, Armin, understand that this is the best choice. And please, live on and show me just how great of a future we have carved out together."
For a while all three of them stand in silence. Then, as if buckling under her emotions, Mikasa falls to the ground, scrunching her hands over her wet face.
"But…(sob)… this just isn't fair…you never asked for this po…power…(sob)…and even so you fought so bravely!"
Eren kneels down, as close as he can get to Mikasa through the bars, stroking her hair.
"But all those who were sacrificed also never asked for an abnormality like me to exist. If I didn't have this power, their lives would've been different. It was my choice to use this power, and no one else's. All the lives that were lost because of me, they are my responsibility and my burden."
Armin cuts in sharply, "You fought for the sake of humanity's future! They can't just push all the burden onto you alone and…"
"Even so!" Eren cuts Armin off, pausing for a while to let the two calm down yet again. "This is not a crime that I can simply live in ignorance of, nor is it one that I can share with anyone. I made the choice to use this power, so all the responsibility and burden is mine alone."
Armin and Mikasa look at Eren through watering eyes. He has changed. That snobby, speak-with-my-fists kid who never backed down to anything is now willing to accept his own death for the sake of the future. But then, maybe he hasn't changed. He is just as straightforward and selfless as he always was; accepting his death for the sake of those who died in his stead these past years. No…that's wrong too. He isn't dying for anyone; he's dying because this is what he believes in.
Even so, a part of them doesn't want to accept this. Mikasa looks at the ground, tearing up again.
"I just don't understand….."
Armin thought that Eren would show a puzzled expression, but Eren smiles at them both, tenderly, and hugs them through the bars.
"You do understand. I know you do. So thank you, Mikasa, Armin, for acknowledging what I want."
"Don't speak as if this is a farewell…"
"But it will be farewell soon. And that's okay, because these past 18 years, I have lived an exciting and colourful life alongside you two, and everyone else. Despite all we have suffered and lost, I…have no regrets."
At this, both look up and stare into Eren's unclouded eyes.
"I'm at peace. … Really, I am."
.
.
For the next hour, the three of them sit in a close bundle and hold dearly, ever so dearly, onto each other.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading!
This was a rather...unplanned out fan fic, in my opinion. For one, it ended up way longer that I had intended. But mainly, the problem lies in the fact that I watched ALL of SnK in one day, and then spent a few days just reading doujins. Which means that I don't have a very good grasp of the characters and their personalities etc. Also, I feel that I'm not expressing the emotions enough here. Even so, I gave it a go, so I hope that you enjoyed it.
In a lot of the fan medias I've been looking at, Eren is portrayed as a rather angelic figure who is overly sweet and innocent and embraces his death readily. While I do find this Eren to be adorable, I also feel that it is unrealistic, given his circumstances.
But I was intrigued by the idea of Eren's execution, so I started thinking of a way in which he would justifiably accept his fate. The result? My 'Eren', which seems quite angelic as well orz...so I guess I failed. At the very least, I'm sure that Eren would have matured a hell of a lot over the past three years, because of his power and everything he's been through. Even so, maybe I pushed it too far?
Also to note is that I think an important part of Eren's character is how highly he regards human life. Although he clearly went overboard during Mikasa's kidnapping, and also acts too rashly because of his ideals, I would like to see him grow while holding onto these ideals. But if he does hold onto them, surely it will be hard continuing as a soldier, especially when inevitably people will die because of him while he survives the battles. Surely all this will push him to mature even more in a short time. The poor kid...
All of the above are thoughts that were floating around while I was writing this.
Again, thank you for reading my fanfic! And this super long Author's Note...Will update the rest soon!
And critique please!
Lastly, remember I mentioned how Eren's "friends and comrades have plans of their own"? hohoho do read on to find out what exactly!