Hermione was different and everyone knew it. She'd disappeared for a few minutes, simply vanishing through a door and when they found her again, walking through the same door, she was older. And started crying.
She never told them where she went, she simply gave Dumbledore a weird look and walked back through the same door, not disappearing that time. She hid out in her room for days, maybe even weeks by the time that she left the dorm, finally showing her face to the crowd of worried Gryffindors in the common room below. And she still wouldn't tell them what happened, simply stating that it was time to see Dumbledore.
Because Hermione felt empty and full of pain at the same time. Like she was going through withdrawal. Through a rather odd and almost inexplicable withdrawal. Because she missed the past. The past that she'd adjusted to far too well. A past that she couldn't bear to leave behind.
…
"I don't belong here anymore." She confessed to the old wizard, knowing that he was the only man who could understand. She doubted that Harry or Ron would be able to even guess what she was talking about, her tale simply too far fetched. "I need to go back. I have to." She spoke, her tone distressed.
"You know that you can't." Dumbledore argued. "And you know why."
"I don't give a damn about the bloody timeline." Hermione yelled, something she would never have done before… "It hurts so much. And I know they had to have been hurting when I suddenly disappeared." She was crying, hyperventilating as she spoke. "I can't just stay here and pretend that nothing happened because a lot happened. I gave my heart to a man who's dead here. Please Professor. I can't do this."
"I'm sorry Miss Granger but you have to." The headmaster frowned, his own heart breaking at the sight of the girl in front of him. "Even if it were safe for you to do so, I don't have the capability of sending you back to that time."
Hermione whimpered, her tears falling faster. "Do they even remember?" She asked, her voice quiet.
"They do." Dumbledore admitted. "Professor Snape followed your instructions perfectly, even if he was reluctant to do so. The others were eventually persuaded to follow the same charade, though it took a great deal of convincing. They all believed that it was simply a precaution in case you ever returned to your own time. I know none of them wanted to.
"I'm going to speak with him." Hermione nodded to herself. "My Severus, not the Professor who pretended to not know me."
"I'm sure he'd like to speak with you as well." Dumbledore smiled sadly. "These last twenty years have been hard on him."
Hermione drifted from the headmaster's office, a sad mourning befalling her once again. She passed countless faces, most of whom announced their happiness at her return, apparently glad to see her walking around the castle again. Little did they know that she had been walking the halls of Hogwarts far longer than she ever would have imagined. Though the people she wanted by her side weren't there anymore.
When she arrived at his classroom, students exiting the room as it came into view. She felt a strange confliction in her emotions. She was distraught, of course, but at the same time overjoyed that at least one of her closest friends was still with her, even if he was older.
"Severus." She breathed, walking into the now empty classroom, catching the professor off guard.
"It finally happened?" He asked, apparently understanding exactly what she was going through as his expression battled between a smile and a frown.
"I wish I was never taken away from you." She sobbed quietly, rushing to pull him into a hug, a hug which he gladly returned, holding her as tight to him as possible.
"I'm sure the others wished that too." He whispered. "I'm just glad to have you back. Even if the others can't be here."
"How do you do it?" She asked, pulling away from the hug, though keeping her hands on his arms. "How do you go on without them?"
Severus took a deep breath, shaking his head slightly. "You go on because you have to. Not because you want to, or you can. You just have to wake up and leave your bed and know that they need you to go on. To remember them."
"I've missed you." Hermione smiled, tears still falling down her face. "Even if it was only a few weeks for me."
"I've missed you too Hermione." Severus sighed, pulling her into another hug. "I've missed you too."
…
"It's been months Hermione." Harry finally exploded, cornering her in the common room one evening. "We've given you time and we've given you space. But you vanished for three minutes. What could have possibly happened to you in that time that you seem like a complete stranger? We're your best friends Hermione, you can trust us."
"What may have been minutes for you was two years for me." Hermione spoke, a slight sadness clinging to her tone. "And I'm sorry to say that I'm different because of that. And thanks to those two years, I don't know if you're my friends anymore."
"At least tell us why?" Ron pouted, looking rather disappointed with the bushy haired girl before him.
"Because I just finished Hogwarts a year after your parents." She spoke, her attention directed at Harry. "I just spent a year getting to know the people I would call some of my closest friends. And even though I was in Slytherin they didn't judge me like they did Regulus, and certainly not like they did Severus. And those two wonderful boys mean more to me than my own life. Bloody hell Harry I fell in love with one of them."
"You fell in love with Professor Snape?" Ron yelled, disgusted by even the thought.
"No, though he is very dear to me." Hermione frowned. "I fell in love Regulus Black. Sirius never quite forgave me for talking to him, though when he found out we were together he backed off a little."
"I don't know if I believe this." Harry spoke, rather dazed, running a hand through his messy raven hair. "You knew my parents? You're best friends with Snape?"
"I know it's hard to understand. That in a few minutes I'm suddenly a different person." Hermione frowned, trying to keep the tears at bay that so desperately wanted to spill down her cheeks. "It hasn't been as long for you, but being here feels like a lifetime ago to me."
"Do you want to go back?" Harry asked, pain evident in his eyes.
"Very much." Hermione admitted, a tear falling down her face. "But I can't. I'm stuck here."
"I'm done hearing this." Ron announced, marching up to his dorm.
"Ron." Hermione called out, but he had already slammed the door.
"I don't know if he'll come around." Harry shrugged, sitting down next to Hermione on the couch. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but we are still your friends, even if you've changed. Or at least I am."
"That's really nice to hear." Hermione laughed slightly, resting her head on Harry's shoulder. "And I'm sorry that you weren't the one sent back. I wish you could've met them."
Harry chuckled, throwing an arm lazily around Hermione's shoulder. "I'm not too sure I'd want to. They wouldn't know who I am."
"I can tell you about them." Hermione offered. "If you'd like."
"Are you sure you want to?" Harry asked, tilting his head to look down at Hermione. "You just lost them. I mean sure it's been a few months but, I'm still not quite over Sirius."
"I think it might be nice to talk about them." Hermione smiled. "So that it's not just a few of us who remember. Besides, James is nothing like you."
"Really?" Harry smiled intrigued.
"You don't look that much alike either, but I guess you look more like him than Lily." Hermione began. "She's almost as stubborn as you and as compassionate too. Though she's one vindictive witch when she wanted to be, something I don't think Prongs has ever figured out. Padfoot however, he learned very quickly what to avoid saying or doing around her when your parents started dating."
…
Her conversation with Harry was rather interesting to say the least, especially when she caught herself talking about them in first person. Harry hadn't minded, saying that it was almost like she brought them back with her, in more than just her memories. It was like their friendship mended in an instant, though Ron on the other hand refused to speak to her, something she understood.
But as their sixth year came to a close, Hermione felt her heart shatter and piece itself back together as she read the note contained in a rather suspicious locket, a note written by the man she once loved. In a way it was nice to have closure, to know what happened to him, but to also know how much pain he had to have been in before he died, it was almost like the universe wanted him to be unhappy. And then there was the matter of Severus, about how he killed Dumbledore. She had insisted that there was something more to the situation than cold blooded murder but Harry didn't seem to want to hear any of what she had to say. Just like his mother. Stubborn.
Remus had immediately visited Hermione, not even waiting for her to get home but ambushing her at the station, something her parents were more than confused by. He'd immediately gushed about the latest developments in his life as if he were seventeen again, something that seemed rather good for the haggard werewolf. It was like some life had returned to her favourite canine.
Ron had managed to forgive her, though she knew it was a long road ahead before the 'golden trio' were inseparable again, if any of them ever wanted to return to that period in their lives. He'd eventually understood how much worse the situation was for Hermione, something she was secretly proud of him for, and apologised, bringing him back into her life as a friend, though she could tell that he wanted them to be more.
…
The hunt was over and Voldemort was dead, the war finally came to a close. But it wasn't a happy ending like Hermione thought it would be. She saw Severus murdered before her eyes, being held back by Harry and Ron so she couldn't interfere, leaving them his memories and whispering one last goodbye to her. And that was all before she saw Remus, the last of her friends, dead on the floor. And she mourned once again, finding herself left as the last of the Marauders and the last who could remember them properly. She was alone again, with nothing to ground her to the time she no longer wanted to be in. So she cried, and screamed, hunched over his dead body. Those who remembered her from the past looked on in understanding, some even shedding a tear for her, and those who never knew she travelled back in time simply watched on confused, mourning over their own fallen family and friends.
"They're all gone." She sobbed to Professor McGonagall, who had placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm the only one left. He killed all of them." And the older woman simply knelt beside her in silence.
AN- So this is a little oneshot I decided to write about the aftermath of all of those Hermione goes back in time fanfics. I was going to write a happier ending, which I still have if you want to read it, but I wanted to balance out all of the stories that have a happy ending. I wanted it to fit with the canon storyline as best I could with a few obvious changes. I feel like in all of those stories, even though I know they're all AU, a lot of them seem to forget that when Hermione returns to the future all young and oblivious to have the 'I'm too old for' you talk that it probably wouldn't end as happily as it would seem. Whoever her love interest is will die a lot sooner than she will and eventually she'll have to deal with being the last person to remember her time in the past. I love all of those stories and I don't want to insult them in any way but I did want to write a story from the flip side of the coin. I hope you all liked it.
Amyx