This fic was written for the Destiel/Sabriel Smutfest 2017.
It's partially based on Sandy Hook Promise's video "Evan", with some inspiration from a scene of the movie "Suicide Room" and the song "Nothing to Lose" by Billy Talent (yes, the title was inspired by this song. I recommend you listen to it). The rest are my own ideas.
P.S.: excuse me for the foul language. Some of them may result annoying/insulting to you. I apologize in advance.
P.S.2: Dean and Cas are in 11th grade, so they're like 17. Sam is in 8th grade, he's 15 years old. (I had to shorten a little the age gap between them for the story to make more sense).
This is my first smutty fic, and it's funny because it was actually exciting to write.
Enjoy!
_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_
The students picked up their backpacks and left the classroom, effectively ignoring the guy that always sat at the farthest corner of the room, quiet and alone. That was Castiel. He moved silently, the way a predator would. The dark haired boy walked to the library and sat at a nearby table, placing his laptop, earphones and a magazine in front of him.
As he was placing the earphones over his head another student appeared; tall, athletic and with light brown hair. He walked by, not noticing the boy with ocean blue eyes reading a magazine.
The new boy sat at a table close to Castiel's, setting his backpack on the floor and taking out his book and notes for the upcoming chemistry exam. He tried to study for fifteen minutes, giving up and tapping his pen against the wooden table. Finally, he placed his chin upon his left hand and started writing on the table's surface.
I AM BORED
The boy sighed loudly, thinking of doodling something funny, when a pretty brunette jumped out of nowhere.
"Hey, Dean," the girl said, leaning her hip on the table.
"Lisa! Hey, how are you?"
"Everything's good, thanks. Some of us are going to get something to eat outside of school, care to join us?" she batted her eyelashes at him.
None of them noticed Castiel watching them carefully. The earphones provided a good cover, no one would bother him. But he never listened to music when he was at school; instead, he listened to people's conversations. Right now, he realized, the Lisa girl was trying too hard to get to that guy, Dean.
"Sure, I could use some food."
Both left the library chatting quietly.
Castiel rolled his eyes and kept reading.
The next day, Dean went back to the quietest place in the whole school. He found his place from the previous day empty. Such good luck. Now he could try and keep studying.
He had just sat down when something caught his eye. Six simple words that changed everything.
Hi Bored, nice to meet you.
Dean smiled to himself and looked around, as if he could find the person that answered him somewhere in the library.
Castiel was sitting a few tables away, sneaking glances at Dean. A blonde girl with a ponytail approached him.
"Hey, do you mind if I sit here?" she asked, pointing the chair across from Castiel.
"Fuck off," he said, as he showed her the middle finger and put his earphones on. She gasped, offended.
Castiel could not care less.
Meanwhile, Dean was biting the cap of his pen, trying to figure out what to write next under the response. He smirked, knowing what to say.
LOL, CAN'T WAIT FOR BREAK
He stared at the three line conversation and chuckled. He wanted to know who the mysterious person that had answered was. After another hour of reading and drifting off Dean stretched, stood up and hung his backpack over his shoulder, making his way to the school's cafeteria.
Castiel looked up after Dean was gone, looking around him to make sure nobody would see him, and grabbed a pen as he walked toward the table where Dean studied.
"I just can't believe Michael would say something like that to you!" the redhead said.
"I know, Charlie. I always knew he was a dickhead, but now I abhor him even more," Jo complained, taking a bite of her sandwich.
"He's always been like that," Benny intervened.
"Well, that's no reason for him to insult Jo," now Kevin, who had been busy solving a math problem, stepped in.
Dean half listened to the conversation, his mind was busy trying to find a needle in a haystack. He saw a lot of girls walking around the cafeteria, but he felt like none of them were the one who had written on the table. Garth suddenly sat opposite him, blocking his view. Dean tilted his head and kept watching the crowd. Garth turned around on his seat, trying to see what Dean was looking at.
"Looking for something?" he said as he returned to a normal position.
"More like 'someone'."
"Who?"
"I don't know," Dean sighed. He crossed his arms and leaned on the table. Garth laughed and shook his head, engaging in conversation with Lisa.
"Hello," Hannah sat on his left, bringing a tray with food.
"Hi," Dean half smiled, then turned his attention back to scanning the room.
"It's sad, isn't it?"
"What is?" Dean looked at her, arching an eyebrow.
"That boy, Castiel, he always eats alone. I've never seen him with anybody." Hannah frowned and focused her blue eyes on the boy sitting at a table opposite them. "He's in one of our classes, actually."
"Castiel? What kind of a name is that?"
"A catholic one. He doesn't look very catholic to me, though."
"How come I've never noticed him in class?"
"He never speaks. I guess you just didn't pay attention when the professor called out the other names on the list."
After that Hannah began eating, so Dean dropped the subject. The guy had dark, almost black, hair and bright blue eyes. He was listening to music, most likely, or maybe watching something on his phone, his eyes were looking down at something. Dean tried hard not to think the boy was simply looking at the blank table, feeling lonely. For a split second he considered inviting him over to their table, but Castiel may think of it as a 'pity invitation', so he ignored the feeling in his gut and kept eating his hamburger, suddenly less hungry.
Days flew by and the conversation on the table kept getting longer. Dean had to take a picture and show it to his little brother, Sam.
I AM BORED
Hi Bored, nice to meet you.
LOL, CAN'T WAIT FOR BREAK
Same.
WHAT U UP TO THIS WEEKEND?
Nothing cool.
MAYBE WE SHOULD DO NOTHING COOL TOGETHER
"See? She's nice."
"Why are you so sure it's a 'she'?"
"She must be, she has pretty handwriting."
Sam rolled his eyes at the stereotype, "Well, why don't you ask her who she is?"
"That would ruin the fun," Dean said, finishing his breakfast.
"Don't you want to meet her?"
Dean put his plate on the sink and sighed. "Well, yes, but…"
"No buts then, you have to ask her," Sam smiled and patted his brother's back, leaving his plate on top of Dean's on the sink. "It's your turn to wash them."
"Oh, come on! Can't you see I'm having a crisis here?"
"Sorry man, I'm already late for school," Sam winked and left Dean alone.
After washing the dishes he showered, brushed his teeth and made himself presentable for school. He grabbed Baby's keys and drove off.
He spent his first two classes leaning over his desk trying to see his female classmates' handwriting. More than once he got strange looks from them, surely they thought he wanted to copy their notes. Unsuccessful, he made his way to the library, hoping to find a new answer. As he walked there he found Dick Roman and Raphael bothering that boy, Castiel. They had dropped his books and earphones, caging him against the lockers and insulting him while poking his chest. Castiel remained quiet, just looking at them with clear hate in his gaze.
No one around would even look at them, afraid to bring the fight to themselves. So, Dean decided to intervene.
"Hey, you two," he said as he approached them, "stop it."
Both bullies turned around, now Raphael was clenching Castiel's shirt with his fists.
"Winchester?" Raphael scoffed, not believing his eyes.
"This is none of your business, get lost," Dick said.
"Yeah… no," Dean got closer and pushed Raphael's arms away from Castiel. "It's over. Find someone else to bother. Or better still, stop bothering people! You're just a couple of assholes who believe they're better than others, but guess what? You're not. So fuck off."
With every word Dean's voice kept getting rougher and angrier. Dick clenched his fists and scrunched his nose. Raphael smirked and wouldn't let it go.
"What? Are you trying to protect your boyfriend, here? Because he's a damn fag–"
Raphael couldn't finish that sentence for Castiel had punched him across the face. He recovered quickly and shoved Castiel against the lockers, pinning him there with his weight and hitting the back of his head on the locker door. Raphael punched him and sent him to the floor. He took advantage of the position Castiel was in and held him down, punching him again.
Dick tried to stop Dean from getting to Raphael, but he was shorter and less strong. Dean pushed Dick away and grabbed Raphael with a chokehold, effectively pulling him away from Castiel. Raphael grunted and Dean let him go, giving him a warning look.
"You better watch your back, Winchester!" Raphael barked out. He grabbed Dick roughly by the arm and pulled him away.
"Oh yeah, Raphael? What are you gonna do, eh?"
Dean turned to Castiel, who was now on his knees grabbing the things he had dropped.
"Are you okay?"
"I don't need your help." Castiel said, defiantly. His voice was gruff. He got up and turned around, wanting to get away from Dean.
"Hey!" Dean touched his shoulder briefly and turned him back around. "You should go to the infirmary, there's a nasty bruise forming next to your eye."
"It wouldn't be there if you hadn't intervened!" Castiel said, exasperated. "I was taking care of it. I don't need you to protect me."
"Woah, man, I was just trying to –"
"Help?" Castiel stood very close to him, eyes unblinking. He was slightly shorter than Dean, but still, he was quite intimidating. "Don't. I don't need it. I do not want it."
Castiel left quickly, head bent and shoulders slumped. He avoided bumping against anyone. Dean followed him with his eyes until he couldn't see him anymore. He hadn't realized he had been holding his breath. Dean sighed and tried to shake it off, heading to the library.
Someone was already sitting on his spot. He tried not to be disappointed when he saw it was Becky. It couldn't be her who had been answering his messages. Please, Lord, don't let it be her. Still, he had to know.
"Hey , Becky…"
"Hello, Dean. Long time no talk," she smiled and looked up at him.
"Yes. Um, do you happen to have the notes on Professor Singer's speech from yesterday?"
"I do, actually. Did you want to see them?"
"Yes! I promise I won't copy them, I just want to check something."
She nodded and handed him an open notebook; it had little hearts drawn along the margins. He shuddered. He looked at the handwriting and sighed in relief, noticing the differences between hers and the one on the desk.
"Yeah, that'd be all. Thank you so much," Dean tried not to smile too much as he left the library. He would check the answer on the table later.
He was in his classroom in time for his next class. It wasn't until he heard the professor call out Castiel's name that he turned in his chair and saw that the seat at the back of the room was empty.
The next morning went pretty fast. Dean found himself sitting with his friends in the cafeteria. Somehow his mind had gone from searching for the mysterious girl from the library table to finding Castiel among the hundreds of students having lunch.
"Hannah!" Dean exclaimed as he saw her nearing the table, "Have you seen Castiel?"
"Hello to you, too, Dean." Hannah laughed, sitting in front of him. Then she frowned, trying to figure out why Dean, of all people, would want to know where Castiel was. "No, I haven't. Why?"
"Nothing. It's just that –"
Hannah jumped as Dean suddenly stood up, leaving the table. "I'll only be a second!"
"Okay…" She watched him walk across the cafeteria to a table with just one occupant.
Dean wasn't nervous; of course not. He was just a bit anxious. He didn't even know why he was doing this. Castiel had been pretty clear when he said he didn't want Dean's help. Even his presence was unwelcome. He reached his table and sat in front of him. Castiel lifted his eyes from his notebook, surprised. He slammed the notebook close and tensed up, ready to flee.
"Hey, Cas. How are you feeling?"
Cas? Where did that come from? Fuck, he'll leave.
Castiel blinked once and clenched his jaw. The bruise next to his eye was almost black, making his blue iris look brighter and his skin paler than before. He stood up and attempted to leave. Dean grabbed his arm, carefully, so he wouldn't seem violent. He could feel Castiel tense even more; he was looking down at Dean's hand on his arm.
"Please, don't go. I'm trying to be nice here, man. Let me be nice to you." He let go of his arm, waiting for him to say or do something.
Castiel kept staring at his arm; it was tingling. He sneaked a glance at Dean. Why would this guy even want to talk to him? It was probably a bet. Yeah, surely it was a bet. Castiel shook his head and walked away.
"Wait! Ah… Shit" Dean cursed under his breath. He went back to his table, defeated.
"What happened over there?" Charlie asked. She was sitting next to Hannah.
"Tried to be nice, was rejected."
"Sounds like Dean Winchester has a crush," the redhead smirked and gave him a knowing look. "Who is he, anyway? I don't think I've ever seen him."
"His name is Castiel. And no, I don't have a crush on him. He's a dude. You both know I'm not gay."
"Sure! And Scarlett Johansson is my girlfriend," Charlie crossed her arms across her chest.
"He's kinda cute," Hannah said, with a mischievous grin.
"More like hot as hell!" And so Charlie and Hannah began a heated discussion on which of the boys and girls from school were the hottest.
Dean shook his head, grateful that the conversation had taken a turn away from his sexual preferences. After lunch time he went to the library, eager to find a new answer.
MAYBE WE SHOULD DO NOTHING COOL TOGETHER
I don't think that's a good idea.
Wait, what? Dean read and re-read the last sentence, feeling his stomach drop. What was it with him that every time he was interested in someone he was rejected? Somewhere on the back of his head a little voice reminded him of what Charlie had said about having a crush on Castiel. He pinched the bridge of his nose and wrote down his response.
WHO ARE YOU?
_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_
Well, I hope it caught your attention because I'll be posting Chapter 2 soon! (Hopefully…)
Anyway, thank you for reading. Leave a review, maybe…
And if you haven't listened to Billy Talent's "Nothing to Lose", do it now ;)
Read you soon, ducklings.
Love,
-CLR.