Warning/s: possible OOC
FOOTSTEPS OF TIME – July 18, 2013
The sky was covered in different shades of blue and the air was thick. The wind had this melancholic yet warm feeling to it. Shouts were roared, tears were shed. Eren could never tell if it was a shout of joy or if it was a shout full of grief and pain. He felt numb, he felt weak. They have won and they have lost. They lost precious lives for the freedom they had eagerly yearned.
And Eren can tell it was finally the end. He looked at the sky and he wondered how it could shine so bright under so many deaths that happened all at once. He tried his best to look by his side and he felt his heart gradually quicken its pace. He find it hard to breathe.
"Heichou…" He hardly breathed out. He wondered why his voice seemed so hoarse.
And there was no response. He felt the wind blew ever so gently on him. He watched the grass as it gracefully dance to the rhythm in the air. He listened to the distant melody playing as the leaves flap in the open air. He tried to reach out his bloodied hand. He wondered why his limbs felt so numb yet he can feel the nagging pain in his heart. He lightly brushed the few strands of hair on Rivaille's face. He softly caressed Rivaille's cheek. He lovingly traced the outline of Rivaille's face and he had wondered why it felt so cold, so pale, so lifeless.
And a single tear slipped from Eren's eyes. "We tried so hard but I guess it wasn't meant to be. We lost but it was a good try." And Eren smiled bitterly.
"One last time… together, let us meet again." Eren breathed a sigh of relief as he closed his eyes, welcoming the darkness awaiting his very end.
Swaying in the season of farewells is a fleeting flower.
Seeking the same warmth in the wind, we will walk in search.
The sky was covered in different shades of gray and the air felt so humid. It was a rainy day and the sky was threatening to spill its tears once again. It was mourning, it was crying. And Eren never knew why his heart felt so burdened along with the anxiety resting in his mind.
He walked through the pavement and he wondered why he felt so weary like he had never been complete his entire life. Something was missing and he never knew what it was. He just knew. He just felt his entire being crave for a presence he had never met.
He looked ahead and for a brief moment, he could no longer breathe. It was a fleeting moment, a mere occurrence. They passed by each other and the air was somewhat whispering sweet nothings into his ear.
We meet under the hazy clouds that float away in the sky.
Like the overlapping and parting arms of the clock.
He knew. This was the presence that he craved for his entire life. This was the presence that would make him complete once again, his other half. Eren never really believed in fate but if this was it, then he could no longer maintain his pride.
He took a second glance at the back of a stranger he oddly felt so accustomed to. It felt like they had been doing this over and over again. The familiarity, the warmth that enveloped him, the man was no stranger. He knew this presence. As the time pass by and as the clock move its hands, he watched as the man walk away at a steady pace.
"We will meet again." Eren thought as he assured himself. But it was no longer needed for their meeting was bound to happen.
Even if our pace is different,
As long as the future we paint is the same,
Then it's okay, because we can begin at the same place again.
Spring, summer, fall, and winter – as the seasons pass and as the seasons change, Eren found his way in that same place where he met his other half. It wasn't always the same and waiting in that same place at that same time is a gamble worth betting his life for. At times he would see the man, at times he won't. Eren never really cared, he just wanted to assure himself that he was there, alive and breathing. He would always follow the man's footsteps as he pass by. A glance was more than enough.
But, they never really caught each other's eyes. It was no more than a few seconds and Eren would go on with his life. He had never really wanted for more.
Blossoming in the short spring, the dreams go through the long winter.
The seeds that I collect in my heart,
What kind of light do I provide for them?
He knew. He loved the man at first glance. At second glance, he swore he would devote his life for him. And at third, fourth, and countless glances he knew his entire existence was for him and him alone.
He had never really intended to approach the man but it was proven to be the hardest thing to do. He knew a wish has to be fulfilled and it wasn't just his selfish desire for the man's warmth against his.
"Excuse me." Eren had said.
As the man turned around, it was the first time their eyes were caught in a trance. The time had stopped but the clock's hands continued to meet on its own. It was a fated meeting.
The man was calm yet his eyes showed so much. It was dull but it was there – the years of pain, longing, and his never-ending passion and affection.
"Took you so long, shitty brat." The man had scoffed though it was merely a futile attempt to mask the urge to reach out and envelop Eren in a tight embrace and never let go.
Eren had smiled, the first one to ever truly reach his eyes. "I'm home, Rivaille-san."
If you were the shorter arm, then I would be the longer arm.
If the short arm of the clock stops, the long arm stops too.
The pain that we share together,
Will turn into happiness before you know it.
Introductions were only formalities and it was no longer needed. The time, the place, the existence they have, it wasn't of much importance. They would always find a way to seek each other out. Under the same sky, breathing the same air, an invisible connection established through their deep and strong feelings for each other.
Feelings will turn into words,
And words call forth light.
"Heichou, is it okay for me to endear you this much?" Eren was afraid. It was his first and it will be his last.
Rivaille had merely looked at Eren. It was only an action yet it spoke so much, too much, of what Eren ever really wanted.
"I won't let you go even if you want me to."
Eren took the risk. He had never been so right in his entire life.
Light creates shadows,
People grow strong in shadows.
"Was it the right choice? Did I make it right this time?" Eren was tired of it – his incompetence, his incapability to save those who are dear to him. He had never felt so dejected, so useless. He blamed himself for the deaths that occurred. He blamed himself for being so weak.
Rivaille contemplated. He wasn't the man to comfort the living and he had no idea what words to say. It wasn't his duty to comfort a grieving heart of a soldier but he, at least, wanted to comfort the heart of a helpless child he grew fond of.
"We tried so hard but I guess that it wasn't meant to be. We lost, but it was a good try." Rivaille tried. But it really was just his own words used to comfort himself. What else could have been said?
"Thank you, Heichou." Eren smiled bitterly.
Strength becomes gentleness,
Gentleness brings about meetings.
"You are humanity's strongest. I am humanity's hope. Isn't it funny how we shoulder the heaviest burden on our shoulders?" Eren gritted his teeth.
Sometimes he wondered how he could stay sane. Then again, this was the only thing he could do and once was the only thing he devoted himself to. Only now, he thought it was cruel how he couldn't spend the few moments of his life with the one he had truly loved.
Rivaille stayed silent. He never knew what to say. Truthfully, he had felt like giving up. He felt so jaded. Yes, it was the heaviest burden placed on his shoulders but he was kind of thankful to it for bringing the only thing that makes him feel alive.
Meetings create paths,
And this path, once again, craves our feelings.
"Heichou, can this be forever?" Eren reached out. He placed his hand on Rivaille's chest and felt the steady beating of his heart.
Rivaille closed his eyes. He secretly wished. He never really believed in gods or heaven or wishful thinking. But, just this once, he would.
"Let this be forever."
Each of us only get one chance, one moment, one second, one irreversible time.
To live on without hesitation, to search for such a meeting.
One person, one chance, one moment, one second, once only,
I am glad that we met.
A/N: Based on the song Footsteps of Time by KAITO. Italicized words, except dialogues, are from the English translation of the song.