Malace || Shadowhunters || Malace || My Darkest Reflection || Malace || Shadowhunters || Malace
Title: My Darkest Reflection – Focusing on the Light in the Dark
Fandom: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments
Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters reserved to Ed Decter, the books the Shadowhunters is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.
Warnings: shounen-ai, polyamory (threesome), hurt/comfort, fluff, shoujo-ai, hetero
Main Pairing: Magnus/Alec/Jace
Side Pairings: Lydia/Isabelle, Simon/Clary
Shadowhunters Characters: Jonathan Christopher 'Jace' Wayland, Magnus Bane, Alexander Gideon 'Alec' Lightwood, Isabelle Sophia 'Izzy' Lightwood, Clarissa Adele 'Clary' Fray, Simon Lewis, Lydia Branwell, Maia Roberts, Luke Garroway, Maxwell Joseph 'Max' Lightwood
Summary: Set after episode 2x17 "A Dark Reflection" in my on-going season 2B with Malace series! Lydia and Isabelle go on their first date and Magnus has to deal with some things.
My Darkest Reflection
Focusing on the Light in the Dark
"Wait, you don't know what a Jedi is? That...", sputtered Simon wide-eyed, turning from Max to stare at Isabelle in utter betrayal, pointing a finger at her. "We will rectify this! Movie nights! Team-bonding. All the Star Wars and not even your brothers with their growly attitude will get out of it."
"...Are all vampires that weird?", whispered Max with the smallest grin.
"It would be interesting if they were", mused Lydia,tilting her head.
"Okay. Come on, let's get back to it, Max. Leave the girls... alone for a bit", declared Simon.
It took Max just a moment as he turned to look at Isabelle and Lydia before grinning like a mini maniac and rushing off with Simon. Isabelle blinked slowly as she looked after them.
"What was... that? That was weird, even for Simon's standards", muttered Isabelle.
Lydia smiled gently as she reached over the table to grasp Isabelle's hand and squeeze softly. "I think Simon wants to give you another moment to calm your nerves. And to give Max another moment of training without his worried big sister looming over him like that."
"I—I'm not looming", argued Isabelle with a glare.
Lydia had occasionally been helping her with training Max – after all, demonstrating certain techniques worked better with a partner. And ever since Alec had announced that Max was mission-approved by the Clave, Isabelle might have gone a little harder, so Lydia had decided to tag along today, with worry creasing her perfect eyebrows. Right now, Lydia had one of those eyebrows raised in a skeptical way, a small smirk on her lips. Isabelle huffed and crossed her arms.
"Alec already told you this, but... let me repeat it: Max is one of us. He's a Shadowhunter. He was born to be a Shadowhunter", stated Lydia gently.
"I know that", growled Isabelle defensively. "But when we went on our first missions, we weren't in the middle of a war against a lunatic, Lyd! I just... This isn't... It's too dangerous."
Lydia's expression softened as she rubbed circles on the back of Isabelle's hand with her thumb. "It is. But so is the life of every Shadowhunter. It's what we sign up for. And Max...? He's been living in the shadow of three very great Shadowhunters in his siblings. He wants to prove himself, he wants to stand tall and proud in line with you. He wants to make you proud."
Isabelle bit her lips and looked down at their links hands just as Lydia gave her another reassuring squeeze. Lydia was right. Isabelle had already known when Alec had voiced the same sentiment to her, but that didn't change how worried she was about her little brother.
"He's... my little brother. I just...", sighed Isabelle worried.
"I know", assured Lydia softly. "It's... sweet, to see this side of you. The overly cautious Lightwood, I always thought that role was filled by Alec."
"Shut up", huffed Isabelle with the slightest pout.
"And I thought the pouty Lightwood had been filled by Jace", teased Lydia with a smirk.
That earned her a genuine laugh from Isabelle and the sound filled Lydia's heart with a certain sense of pride at having eased her friend's mind. The two Shadowhunters exchanged a soft smile.
"Can I get the two love-birds anything else?", asked Maia as she leaned against their table.
"L—Love-birds?", echoed Isabelle wide-eyed, cheeks tinting a little.
Maia raised both eyebrows. "Whatever. I have exams to cram for, so I'd like to finish this shift."
"We're going to share an ice-cream", requested Lydia a little amused.
Maia nodded briefly and left while Lydia regarded Isabelle thoughtfully. Izzy frowned curiously.
"Hold on. Are you... Is this...?", drawled Isabelle softly, leaning in some.
"I don't know", admitted Lydia with a slight shrug. "I didn't intend for it to be a date. I just wanted to get you out of training before you drive yourself insane. But I have to admit that... that I enjoy spending time with you, Isabelle. It's easy, in a nice and uncomplicated and fun way. I haven't felt that way in... a long time. So, if... you would like for this to be a date..."
Isabelle took only a moment to process before tilting her head and grinning at the other woman. "I think I'd like that. In all of this craziness, with everyone so distracted with their own drama, you've... really been there for me. And I did conclude that I'm done with men for now."
The two of them laughed softly as Maia came with their dessert. The she-wolf smirked at them knowingly before sauntering off to a free table to get started on her cram-session.
/break\
Magnus had an uneasy frown etched into his features as he stirred his cocktail. He had been engrossed in his task of reading the abominable journals of Valentine Morgenstern. Literally every time Magnus thought he could not possibly hate Valentine any more, something happened that proved him wrong. But sitting here, reading those explicit, disgustingly scientifically phrased documentations of Jace's childhood-abuse, it made him want to puke. Which he had already done, three times. By now it was mainly just dry heaving, really.
Jace had brought a few of the journals home with him and Magnus had found the blonde crouched over them, asleep. When he had asked Jace about them before his two Shadowhunters headed out to the Institute for the day, Jace had told him that he had chosen to take the ones solemnly focused on Jace with him, because he did not want the Clave, or snooping Shadowhunters at the Institute, to read about something so personal. And then, without even being prompted to, he had given Magnus permission to read them, before drawing the warlock into a gentle kiss and leaving with Alec.
Magnus was startled out of his thoughts by the vibration of his phone. Not taking his eyes off the detailed illustration of Jace's broken bones – a list made to document which punishments were the most effective ones (and there was the dry-heaving again) – Magnus fished for his phone.
Hey, Mag. On a mission with Clary. Won't make dinner. Sorry. Alec's so deep in his head, he'll probably forget. Drop by his office with dinner so he eats? Love you
Magnus smiled faintly. He remembered how arrogant and annoying Jace had been in the beginning, but the deeper he dug into Jace's past, the more he learned – first from Alec, then from Jace himself and now from those horrifying books – the more he felt not just bad for Jace but also protective of the blonde. The urge to prevent anything bad from happening to Jace ever again was overwhelming. Part of him just wanted to lock Jace into their bedroom and pull the wards of the loft up just to make sure. Taking a shaky breath, Magnus started to type his reply.
Thank you for the message, love. I'll take care of our overworked darling. Be safe. I love you
Gathering himself, Magnus decided that Jace's idea was brilliant. It appeared that not just Alec but also Magnus needed to get out of his head. And a nice, romantic dinner sounded perfect for that.
/break\
Magnus mused if he should have just stayed home and indulged more in the horrors of Valentine Morgenstern's bad parenting. Maybe things would be better right now if he hadn't gone to have dinner with Magnus, if he hadn't talked to Alec – hadn't talked of trust. Maybe the betrayal would not taste as bitter in his mouth right now. Like acid burning its way down his throat.
"Magnus-", started Luke once more, maybe for the third time.
The werewolf was still holding onto Magnus' arm and the warlock was, somewhere deep in the back of his mind, glad that Luke was stopping him from trashing his home. Yet the bigger part of Magnus just wanted to destroy something. If he could not destroy the damned Soul Sword itself, if he could not destroy Valentine, then the least would be the stupid coffee table. It was an ugly table anyway and he had been thinking of getting a glass-table for a while now.
"He lied to me", spat Magnus and gritted his teeth hard.
"Yes, but going to the Seelie Queen can not be the solution", argued Luke concerned.
Before Magnus could snarl anything else, a portal opened behind the two of them and Magnus was only briefly terrified by how out of it he had been to not draw his wards back up once more. But then Clary and Jace stumbled through the portal.
"Magnus, we need you", blurted Jace out right away.
Magnus took a deep, restrained breath. "Jonathan, I am not in a very giving mood right now."
But then he turned to properly look at his blonde lover and the hazy fog of anger and betrayal momentarily lifted as he saw the wide-eyed and injured state of his blonde. Frowning, he walked up to Jace with large strides before gently cupping Jace's face to inspect him.
"Clary and I found the Mortal Mirror", blurted Jace out before taking a slow breath. "And Dot created a portal. The only... safe place I could think of was home."
"Slow down, love", requested Magnus gently. "You... You found the..."
"Mortal Mirror", replied Clary with a sharp nod, clutching exactly that in her hands.
Magnus was oddly touched that Jace and Clary had decided to bring it here. To him. He glared and gritted his teeth at the thought of Alec not even trusting him with information. Jace cupped Magnus' cheek, gaining the warlock's attention and looking pointedly around.
"What... happened here? Was there an... attack?", asked Jace worried.
"No. Magnus and Alec just had a... bit of a problem", grunted Luke gruffly.
"He lied to me about the Soul Sword", growled Magnus, flashing his eyes at them.
"He...", started Jace and then sighed. "He didn't... tell you about the sword."
"I take it he told you", grunted Magnus and gritted his teeth.
"He told us this afternoon", clarified Jace and lifted his hands up in defense. "And honestly, I... I mean, did it truly surprise you? I've been suspecting it for a while now. Grandma was very... elusive about the sword. It's... I don't know what he said to you exactly, but can we please for now focus on the damn mirror that we have instead of the things we don't have?"
"I'll call the others. I think we should discuss what to do together", suggested Clary gently.
While Clary fidgeted with her phone, Jace grasped Magnus' upper arm and pulled his boyfriend to the side to talk to the still very angry warlock. Luke locked eyes with Jace and nodded briefly.
"Mag, tell me what happened exactly", requested Jace softly, still holding onto his lover.
"I learned from Luke that the Soul Sword was still missing. Even though, this afternoon, I had a wonderful conversation about trust with Alexander", spat Magnus, anger visible in his golden eyes.
"And you... confronted him?", asked Jace slowly, wrapping both his arms around Magnus' neck to play soothingly with the hair at the base of Magnus' neck. "What did he say then?"
"That he didn't want to put me on the spot, make me lie to my people. Instead, he rather took that decision from me and decided to lie to his boyfriend", growled Magnus, laying his own arms around Jace's waist to pull his blonde close. "It as not his decision to make. I do not need his protection. Valentine is out there and he wants to kill me and my kind."
"I know", whispered Jace as he buried his face in Magnus' neck. "And Alec knows it too. Alec is trying his best, he's trying so hard to be head of the Institute. You and I know best how hard this has been on him, babe. He's... He made a bad call. He made a wrong decision. But that doesn't change that he loves you and that he does trust you."
"It sure didn't feel that way", whispered Magnus, voice breaking.
He clung tightly onto Jace, allowing the blonde to sooth him softly. He just couldn't believe that Alec would blatantly lie to his face like that, especially after their conversation about trust. A conversation sparked by how touched Magnus had been by the trust Jace had put in him when allowing the warlock to read the journals. Taking a shaky breath, Magnus buried his nose in Jace's hair just as he heard the others enter the loft. Magnus gritted his teeth.
"Be civil", pleaded Jace gently. "This is about business. Please. We need... to talk."
"What happened? You sounded rattled on the phone, Clary?", asked an anxious Simon.
"I'm fine, Si", smiled Clary softly, looking more at ease now that Simon was there.
He immediately grasped his girlfriend's hands and pulled her closer to inspect her. She still looked rattled. Not as bad as Jace, who was spotting some bruises, but she looked emotionally drained. Jace and Luke both purposefully put themselves between Magnus and Alec – and it broke Jace's heart to feel the despair through the parabatai-bond. He needed to fix this.
"What happened?", asked Alec as his eyes found Jace.
"Good news: We found the Mortal Mirror", started Jace while being inspected by boyfriend number two. "Bad news: I think the real Jonathan kind of wants to kill me."
"It's a mutual thing then", muttered Clary beneath her breath, her words biting.
Jace involuntarily flinched and leaned more into Alec. Now was not the time.
"So, why are we meeting here and not in the Institute?", asked Lydia seriously.
"The Clave lied about the Soul Sword", stated Jace, earning a look from Alec. "What? We should trust each other. And me, Clary, Magnus and Luke already knew."
"So we're the last ones to learn? Great", grunted Isabelle with a glare.
"I didn't...", started Alec, looking frustrated and lost. "I didn't mean to tell anyone. I wasn't supposed to know. I made... our father tell me. But..."
"I learned from my sister. She sent me a fire message", supplied Luke, not in the mood for this to grow into another tirade that would spiral down into a fight between Alec and Magnus.
"Okay, so the Clave lied. Not a surprise there", snorted Simon with a glower, clearly nervous.
"We can't bring the Mortal Mirror to the Institute", stated Jace firmly, arms crossed over his chest.
"Because we now don't trust the Clave at all anymore?", inquired Lydia, eyebrows raised.
"Because we have a mole problem", countered Jace and shook his head. "Someone broke into Clary's bedroom and stole the real Jonathan's belongings from her mother's box of memorabilia. Which means not only is someone who's working for Valentine inside the Institute, they also have... their ears and eyes everywhere, because how else would they even know about the things?"
"Fair point", agreed Luke, shifting his weight.
"Okay, we need to figure something else out", agreed Simon at that, fidgeting.
"That's what we're here for", supplied Alec.
/break\
They did not figure something else out. The day had been long and exhausting, tempers were running high – some like Clary, Magnus and Alec even higher than others, while Luke, Simon and Magnus were particularly on edge. They were running in circles around each other.
"Enough", interrupted Luke before Magnus could lung at Alec for a second time. "I think that we've reached the end for today. We're all tired. We should sleep for a couple hours and talk then."
"Yes. That sounds like a great idea", agreed Jace, rubbing his face.
"We're going in circles", agreed Lydia before pausing and looking around.
Magnus heaved a sigh and flicked his wrist, magic swirling around it. "I prepared enough guest rooms for the night and we will regroup in the morning. For now, neither the Mirror, nor the information should leave this place. Not until we agreed on something."
"That sounds infinitely better than going back to the Institute", groaned Isabelle tired.
Jace lifted one finger up and turned toward Magnus. "How about you go and draw yourself a nice, relaxing bath, babe? You look like you could really use one."
Magnus looked skeptical for a moment, but then his eyes drifted over Jace's shoulder to see Alec. Jace most likely wanted a moment to hear his parabatai's side of the story. Unwillingly, Magnus agreed and headed to their bedroom to draw himself a bath.
"Alec, what the hell?!", hissed Jace as soon as Magnus was out of sight.
"I... wanted to tell him. I wanted it so badly", sighed Alec, running his hands over his face as he sank down on the couch. "I wanted to tell my boyfriend. But... he's also the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He has an obligation toward his warlocks. Like I have an obligation toward the Clave and my Shadowhunters. I was just trying... to do the right thing. But it's... hard to tell what is."
"I know, love", sighed Jace, grasping Alec's face and resting their foreheads against one another.
"He hates me", muttered Alec, voice heartbroken as he leaned heavily against Alec.
"No. He doesn't hate you. He's just upset", argued Jace determined.
"He... sounded like he was breaking up with me", muttered Alec, sounding utterly defeated.
"He wasn't", declared Jace fiercely. "I mean, he... didn't say anything to me, but I will not allow that. You two are perfect together. You make each other better and... and I'm lucky enough to have the two of you and I don't know what I'd do if you two broke up so you're forbidden from doing it."
Alec laughed hoarsely, a broken sound as he clung even tighter onto his parabatai. "I love you. But... But I think I'll... take the couch tonight. Just to be safe."
"No, you will not", huffed Jace. "I'm going to talk to our warlock. You just wait for a bit."
Alec sighed shakily as he watched Jace head off to their bedroom. Rubbing his face, suddenly feeling even more tired than before, Alec headed out to the balcony for a bit of fresh air. When the door opened a few moments later, Alec didn't even bother looking up. Though he was a bit surprised when Lydia leaned next to him, her eyes trained on the skyline too.
"You and Magnus...", drawled Lydia softly.
"Had a fight. About... lying. Me lying about the Soul Sword. I should have told him. I wanted to tell him. But I wasn't even supposed to know and... with tensions so high...", sighed Alec, fingers clawed into his hair. "Please, Lyd, anything, just not that, not now. Distract me. Please."
Lydia nodded slowly and tilted her head thoughtfully. "How weird, on a scale from one to ten, would it be for me to be dating my ex-fiance's sister...?"
Alec blinked slowly and turned to look at Lydia, watching how her cheeks slowly turned just the slightest tint of pink. "Okay. You have my full attention. When did that happen?"
"Today. Sort of", shrugged Lydia thoughtfully. "Honestly, I think it happened... gradually, in the past weeks. We have gotten along so well. While you were busy being head, with Jace and Clary so distracted with their family-drama, Iz and I have been spending a lot of time together. Training together, going on missions together. I've been helping her with Max' training. And... I enjoy spending time with her. More than with anyone else. It's... easy. Simple. Uncomplicated. With her, I can just be... me. I can relax and shed the stiff, strict Clave's envoy exterior. She makes me laugh and smile. And she is beautiful. Not just on the outside, on the inside too."
"No", hummed Alec softly, making her look at him. "It's not weird at all. If she makes you happy and... you definitely make her happy. I know... I know I've been very distracted and even though she said she's been getting better lately, she's still in recovery and I'm not as much there for her as I wish I was. I know you have been there for her. You make her better. And that's all I want for her."
"So I have the big brother's approval?", joked Lydia with a fond smile.
"You do", declared Alec with a sharp nod. "Honestly, with her track-record, you might just be the first one I approve of. And after the mess that's been the last year, she... deserves something good and something stable. I'm... positive you could give her that."
"Thank you. That... really means a lot to me", whispered Lydia.
"It really means a lot to me that you're here", countered Alec with a sigh. "You've... been a good friend. And if you're now also a good... girlfriend for Izzy, all the better."
Lydia laughed at that and shoved him just a little, cheeks still tinted a bit pink.
/break\
"Ma—ag. I brought two of your favorite things!", declared Jace.
Magnus cracked an eye open as he turned to look at the blonde with two glasses of red wine in his hands. "Two glasses of wine. How thoughtful of you."
"What? No. One is for me", huffed Jace. "You damn alcoholic. Two things for you. One's the wine, the other is me. So scoot over and make some room for me, babe."
Jace wiggled his eyebrows as he handed the glasses over to Magnus before shedding his clothes and sitting down opposite Magnus, their legs entangled. Magnus regarded him with gentle eyes, the injuries nearly fully healed at this point thanks to some rune-magic.
"I'm not just going to forgive him for this", stated Magnus firmly. "Trust is... important. What good is a relationship without trust? And... there have just been so many missteps at this point."
"What do you mean?", asked Jace softly as he took one of the glasses back.
"When we were trying to track you and I couldn't find you, I could chalk his temper and misplaced anger up to his emotional state. When the same thing happened again when I told him about Isabelle's addiction... I became cautious. I'm just left wondering... is this it? Is this the point where I should reevaluate if this relationship is healthy or good for me? For us?", mused Magnus.
Jace heaved a sigh and emptied half his glass. "And you've been dodgy and secretive after your body got hijacked by Valentine. You refused to open up, to trust us and bottled it up until he had to practically force you to open up, Mag. And when he suggested to separate your romantic relationship from your professional relationship, you swallowed it and agreed even though I know that you didn't like it. But instead of using your words and talking to him about it, you stayed silent. Look, babe, my point is: We all suck at this. All three of us. Communication. Trust. We've all been burned in the past, we're all cautious. And all of this is... new to us. It's Alec's first actual relationship, it's my first real relationship. Yes, he screwed up in the past, but so did you. So did I. That's... That's why it's important for us to talk to each other and not just storm off and brood."
"Tell me, when did you become the reasonable one in this relationship, Jonathan?", asked Magnus.
"Don't", interrupted Jace and shook his head, taking a shaky breath. "On the note of transparency and trust and all that jazz, I really don't like it when you call me Jonathan. I've been kind of gritting my teeth about it. Because I'm used to gritting my teeth, but just... now... now with the real Jonathan being here, being alive, I don't... I don't want that name, I don't..."
"Okay, I understand, sweetheart", interrupted Magnus gently, reaching out to caress Jace's hand. "Thanks for telling me. But you're... right. We truly do need to talk more."
"But to answer your question: I became the rational one after you continuously told me so. After the meltdown I had when you and Alec first asked me to join your relationship, when I told you I didn't do relationships and I didn't even know if I could love you the way you deserve. You've invested so much time telling me all that mush and sappy stuff and I gotta admit, I think it's true."
"I love you, Jace", sighed Magnus and shook his head. "Okay, I think we've soaked long enough."
Jace nodded silently in agreement and the two of them climbed out. With a snap of his fingers did Magnus wrap them both up in fluffy robes. Jace smiled at him when the warlock wrapped a possessive arm around him to pull him close. When they entered the bedroom, a fidgety Alec was sitting perched at the edge of the bed, decidedly staring at the ground.
"Oh, stop looking like a kicked puppy", sighed Magnus exhausted. "I don't have the energy to fight anymore. Lucien is right; we should call it a night for today and talk in the morning."
"Yeah... that... that sounds good", nodded Alec and looked up at Magnus. "I'm sorry. I love you."
"I love you too, Alexander", whispered Magnus. "But that doesn't change that you hurt me."
"Well, I got beaten up by my evil twin today and had the cold-shoulder treatment from my sister all day long, so how about instead of focusing on your issues, you focus on coddling me?"
Both Magnus and Alec turned to look at Jace with fond exasperation, making the blonde grin broadly. He collapsed back on the bed, in the middle of the bed, and spread his arms out. Alec and Magnus laid down on either side of Jace, curling up against the blonde.
"What do you mean by cold shoulder?", asked Alec lowly.
"I told her I would kill Jonathan when push came to shove", admitted Jace softly. "She told me we couldn't blame him. That he was raised by Valentine. He... He keeps murdering people, but Valentine's upbringing is... is an excuse? What does that say about me? About what she thinks of me? She's been so hostile since I told her that. I feel like... like this whole Jonathan situation is driving a wedge between us and I'm... I'm afraid of what actually finding him will do to us."
"You're afraid she will replace you", supplied Magnus knowingly. "Knowing you are not related didn't change things for her when the idea of you as her brother was the only family she could have. But now that Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern is still alive, has your... name, shares your childhood, you're afraid he will take Clary from you too."
"...Yeah", admitted Jace, voice hoarse as he buried his face in Magnus' chest.
Alec wrapped his arms tightly around Jace's midsection, resting his forehead against Jace's shoulder. "She will not replace you. She loves you and she will not abandon you. If there is one thing I have learned about Clary Fray in the past months, it's that she does not abandon those she cares about."
Jace nodded slowly and closed his eyes. It had been terrifying in its own way, to see Jonathan. Not just because of his physical appearance, but because of what he represented. They were two sides of the same coin, Jace and Jonathan. Jonathan was what Jace could be, could have become. Jonathan was the darkest possible side of Jace's and that was utterly terrifying.
/break\
"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you the way you... deserve it", stated Luke softly as he put a mug of hot chocolate down in front of a startled Clary. "You are my daughter, it doesn't matter that we do not share the same blood or that I never married your mother. I worry about you, Clary."
Clary smiled faintly and accepted the chocolate before getting more comfortable where she was curled together on the couch, not having been able to fall asleep in her guestroom. "I know, Luke. But you... don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine. We all will be. I'm sure of it."
"I hope so", sighed Luke with a forlorn look on his face. "With Valentine..."
He came to an abrupt halt, voice breaking. Guilt was written all over his face. If he had not been foolish enough to trust the anonymous caller – most likely the mole Jace had mentioned before – then they would not have attempted to move Valentine and he would not have escaped.
"We will catch him again", assured Clary gently and reached out for him.
She squeezed his hand and he offered her a faint smile. "You're incredibly strong, Clary. And I know Jocelyn would be... so very proud of you."
Her smile turned a little bittersweet at the mention of her mother. "I... I know."
"You two were attacked by Jonathan?", asked Luke, concern in his warm eyes.
"I don't... know", frowned Clary, a far-off look on her face. "I think I got through to him, when he tried to kill Jace. He didn't, even though he could have. But... Dot attacked him before he had the chance to actually make his choice. I... I... I just... he's... family. My family."
"So is Valentine", stated Luke, earning a betrayed look from Clary. "I'm sorry, Clary. But he is your family. He is your blood, as much as Jonathan is. And if you can see him for who he is, you can not let blood blind you to who Jonathan might really be. I understand why you want for him to have a good core, but you need to be prepared that he is not like you and Jocelyn, that he might be like Valentine. We need you to have your priorities sorted."
Clary averted her eyes and heaved a soft sigh. "I... I know. Deep down, I know that he might be... beyond saving, but I can not give up hope, not until I know for sure. I just can't. I'm just so... so... tired of losing, Luke. I want to win, just once. Is that truly asking too much?"
She looked at him with tears in her eyes and Luke pulled her into a tight, safe hug. "No, of course not. You've lost so much in the past year alone and I'd want for you to have this, but I also want you to be prepared for the worst outcome so it won't... break you."
She clung onto him for a few minutes, quietly sobbing into his embrace. "I know. Thank you. I... I think I'll go and try to catch some more sleep. Good night, Luke."
He nodded at her, watching her as she headed toward the hall where Magnus had made a couple spare-rooms appear earlier. Instead of her own room, she sought out Simon's. The vampire was sitting against the wall, legs drawn up to his chin, a slightly terrified look on his face. He still remembered what the Soul Sword had done last time, what he had only avoided thanks to Jace.
"Can't sleep either?", asked Clary lightly, voice strained. "Wanna not sleep together?"
"W—What? At Magnus' loft?!", squeaked Simon wide-eyed.
Clary blinked and blushed. "N—No. I meant... just... lay. Together. Cuddling."
"Oh", sighed Simon and rubbed his face. "Sorry. Just..."
"Yeah, exactly why I'm here too. We're all 'just...'...", chuckled Clary humorlessly.
She sneaked into the bed and into Simon's welcoming arms where they laid in silence with just each other to ground them, Simon feeling reassured by the sound of her heartbeat and breathing.
/break\
"He—ey", whispered Isabelle as she opened the bedroom door, waving a bottle of whiskey.
"I see you raided Magnus' bar", chuckled Lydia as she looked up from where she had been braiding her hair for the night to keep it from getting completely entangled.
Isabelle grinned broadly at her and put the bottle down on the bed before casually sitting down behind Lydia and taking the half-finished braid from Lydia to continue. Lydia relaxed as Isabelle ran cunning fingers through her hair in a soothing manner. They sat in silence until Isabelle had finished the braid, only then did Lydia fill their tumblers and handed one to Isabelle.
"To... being girlfriends?", offered Lydia slowly, lifting her tumbler.
Instead of a toast, she earned herself a gentle kiss on the lips. "That sounds good."
~*~ The End ~*~
Author's note: Obvious fixes of the episode; No awkward Simon/Maia. Like. What the fuck is that. She was all "Lol nope" when he tried to use her to get over Clary before but now that Clary and Simon broke up like... two weeks ago, she's okay being nothing but a damn rebound? Honestly, that's even worse than being the one used to get over unrequited love. Nope. Still clinging onto Clary and Simon here.
Aaand Lyzzy sailed! That actually really into this episode and I was very happy about that :D
I'm... really disappointed by the Malec of this episode. Again. Honestly, the way the show portraits that relationship, it starts to feel like they are reeeally not good for each other, starting off with Magnus being basically used to get over Jace and continuing on with trust-issues and a severe lack of communication on both sides. And I don't even have a clue as to where they're heading right now, with that end of the episode...? Like? What? Magnus wants to go to the Seelie Queen because that's such a brilliant idea, yeah? Totally. For fuck's sake, those two both need to get their acts together and start TALKING to each other instead of not speaking up, something they both do continuously on this show when it comes to each other.
Also added some Dad Luke, because really that is coming far too short. That throw-away thing about "Simon, whatever happens you're like a son to me" was really lax. He basically is Clary's dad, but after Jocelyn's death, she moved to the Institute? To total strangers who back then basically saw her as Valentine's daughter? Sure. There's far too few interactions between them and Luke in general is really coming too short these days, he feels more like a background character instead of the main character he's supposed to be.
Lastly, Clary seriously pissed me off this episode. I mean. It's been a theme since the Seelie Court scene, but still. The way she was toward Jace this episode was just... exhausting, to be honest.
I deliberately left things open about a decision because I don't want to ENTIRELY go off-canon so I want to see what the fuck is going to happen next episode, which, honestly, looks like it'll just blow up in everyone's face at this point. But taking the mirror to the Institute? Too dumb of an idea to let them do it after they literally just discovered they got a serious mole-problem. The fuck.
One last thing! Am I the only one disappointed by the mirror? Like? What is that tiny, cheap-looking pocket-mirror? I was expecting, sure not a full-length mirror because it has to be small enough to be carried, but I expected an old-fashioned hand-mirror. Elegant. Old. Impressive. Like the cup and the sword. Not some cheap trinket that looks like something you buy at the drugstore when getting cheap make-up. So disappointed.