After I sent the brief, I waited. Several days passed and I expected a phone call. A phone call from you saying forget the divorce, you and Jock were back together, and that I must come by soon and visit. But instead, early Monday morning, you came to my office. When you stepped thru the door, I could tell by your face, you had your mind made up.
"Well I've read your brief Bill," you said as you sat down and placed it on my desk, "and...I know what you're trying to do."
"Oh." I replied, surprised and a little discouraged. I guess I knew this was a possibility, but I didn't really think it would happen.
"You wrote beautifully Bill, about our ups and downs, all three of us," you hesitated, "But I'm afraid for Jock and me...there were too many down times, too many times he seemed as if he just didn't care."
"But when he came into my office..." I started, in Jock's defense.
"I know, and I'm sure he meant it...for now." You looked up wearily. "But I'm tired Bill. I'm tired of trying to make him into something he's not. We just have nothing in common anymore."
Then you looked me in the eye and pleaded, "Would you really write it up for me Bill? I don't care about the grounds...Pick any reason you like. I'm just ready...for it to be over."
"Alright, Mary," I said in a quiet voice "I can do that for you."
At that moment, I thought of all the things I had written, not just about you and Jock, but about me too. The third party, loving you, on the outside looking in. I wondered if this meant getting rid of me too, when all this was said and done. Maybe you wanted to make a clean slate.
You stood up and just when I was trying to think of something to say, you stopped.
"Will you be free for lunch anytime soon Bill?" you managed to say without looking at me.
"I'm free today, tomorrow...anytime for you Mary."
"You know that." I added softly.
"Yes...I know," you said quietly. And you turned to me and gave a weary half smile, "How about today?"
"Sure." The thought of spending time with you perked me up, regardless of the reason.
"Did you want to talk more about the case?"
You looked down again, "No, no...not about the case...I wanted to talk about us."
I wasn't expecting this. "Us?" When I finally managed to speak.
"Yes," you continued without looking up, playing with the edge of my desk, "you can pick me up around noon, if you'd like."
"Alright, Mary." I said trying to stay calm.
You looked up, placed your hand on mine and said, "Thank you so much Bill, for everything." You turned quickly and as you walked out, "I'll see you then."
I was standing, still paralyzed. "Us?"
We had never talked about "us" before. Never without Jock being included. She'll want to talk about all that I'd written, of course.
In my brief, I wrote all my feelings, from our first kiss, to your last visit asking for a divorce. I wrote of my jealousy over Sloan Potter and my anger at Jock for cheating on you, and how much I hated watching you cry. I wrote about all those girls I dated trying to forget you, but couldn't. There was never anybody that could compare with you in my eyes, Mary. And I'd accepted that.
I guess looking back, although I didn't intend it, that brief was mostly about you and me. Even more so than about you and Jock. I imagined that's why you wanted to talk to me now. I figured you'd probably look at me with a pitied face and tell me I should move on without you.
Suddenly, I felt panicked. Why did I write all those things?!! When I was writing it, I felt as if a weight was lifted. I thought this might be the end, so what difference does it make? I confessed my innermost thoughts whilst I played your loyal best friend for all those years. Including, if Jock wasn't enough, why did you turn to Sloan and not to me? And worst of all, even though he was my best friend and I loved him, that I would have been ok if Jock hadn't survived when he got hit by that car. I selfishly wanted you all to myself. What must you think of me now?
I had no idea what you wanted to say to me. I started pacing around my office. I tried not to think about it too much. There was nothing I could do about it now. I had another client to meet before lunch and I was trying to focus on it, but that was impossible. I didn't know it then, but our dear old friend Irene had spoken to you on my behalf, and helped set all this into motion.