[Author's note: I'm sorry for some of the mistakes I made on this short. I wrote this around midnight and was trying to finish it as quickly as possible so that I could go to sleep. Besides, grammar was never my strongest point in writing, unfortunately(:/). In addition, you might find mistakes in this note because I am updating this through my phone. Stupid auto correct.
For this piece, I had really hoped to capture a small sense of desperation in Wade wanting to get Zoey back but knowing he can never have her after what he had done. I' m not quite sure if I captured that in this piece and could have done it better. I guess you guys here at fanfiction can be the judge of that. ;) I might make a better one later down the road when my homework load dies down, but no promises. This is my first time posting anything like this so I am excited to see what everyone has to say. Now, without further a deux, I give you my first piece, I Can't Move On. ]
It had been a long time since he was able to sleep as well as he did last night. He missed the feel of her in his arms so much that his heart ached every time he saw her. He wanted to pull her in his arms and not let her go like he should have done that day after Tom and Wanda's wedding, on the bench. But he knew he had no right. He remembered the look of betrayal-the hurt in her eyes as tears slowly streamed down her cheeks. He could feel his chest tighten each time a tear slipped down to her beautiful, now tear-stained dress. The image of her burned into his brain and appeared every night in his dreams, replaying that day, knowing that he was the reason she was hurt. He didn't deserve her. She deserved someone better than him. Any man who did not want her is an idiot. They do not know just how precious she truly was. Something that he did not learn until it was too late. Part of him was glad that no one has made her his own. She was too good for any of them. She belonged to him but he knew he could not keep her. She deserved someone better. Someone who would never betray her like he did or make her cry into her pillow at night with a tub of melting ice cream and candy wrappers littered all over her bed, spilling on to the floor. Just the thought of her being with another man felt like a knife went through his chest.
Wade tightened his hold on her as if it could keep her from going to the arms of another. He knew he had no right but he could not stop himself. How could he? He loved-no, he still loves her. He never stopped and he never will. Part of him deep down knew he wouldn't; the part that won't let him let her go no matter how much he knew he didn't deserve her. He knew he had to keep his distance from her, just as he has tried to do since they broke up and pretend that he didn't feel the sting in his heart every time he watched her with another man. He especially had to pretend it didn't kill him a little inside every time he saw her talking to Tucker, smiling at him the way she used to smile at him. Or when she gave him that same look in her eyes she once gave him. He had to pretend he didn't feel his heart get crushed when he heard that Zoey still had feelings for George. He knew George had Tansy now but he also had Lemon before he fell for Zoey's charm and left Lemon at the alter. So what would stop him from doing the same now?
He remembered the first night he spent with Zoey. It was the greatest night of his life. After months of chasing her, he finally had her and he couldn't have been happier. No, he was wrong. The best day of his life was when Zoey chose him over Tucker. No words could describe how incredible that day was for him. He admitted that he had some insecurities at first, but he knew that at the end of every day, he would end it with her, fast asleep in his arms just as she is now. Wade kissed her on the crown of her head and watched her as he gently caressed her cheek, trying not to wake her. He wanted that again. His beautiful girl that he would not give up for anything else in this world if she gave him that chance again.
As the sun began to rise and light began to slip between the curtains, a twinge of fear began to fill him and was quickly replaced by longing and anger. Fear of the time for her to wake up fastly approaching that will put an end to this one beautiful and perfect moment. Longing for the days when he didn't have to think about such things because he had her and anger at what he had done to lose everything he had and not knowing what he could do to have more time with her. Closing his eyes, he inhaled her scent. It was funny how something that seemed so little before has become the most comforting and soothing thing in the world. Just having her in his arms was enough. He would never ask for anything else. Heck, he would even be willing to let Lemon have her stupid uncomfortable chairs and those silly little frilly things she puts on the table if it meant that Zoey could forget how much of an idiot he was and have him back. He didn't want to give her up to any one else.
He would do anything to have that chance again. He didn't want any other girl. He didn't care about any other girl. He wanted her. He was never more sure of anything else his life, except owning his own bar. But he was willing to settle for working at a bar in New York, just as he had planned to do when she was thinking about going back. At least then, he would still have her by his side. If he could have one wish, he would turn back time and back the night that ruined his life. If he could replay any moment in time it would be a moment just like this. Back when she wanted to be in his arms because she loves him and not because she had a bad day. Back when she would open her eyes when the time was right and look up at him sleepily with a small smile slowly spreading across her face. He wanted to see the love for him light up in her eyes after he pulls away from their morning kiss on her lips. If he could, he would replay that one simple moment over and over again. A moment he was sure he would never see again, not after he crushed the light in her eyes and replaced it with pain and sadness.
Wade knew that once she opened her pretty little brown eyes, he would not see that light in her eyes. He would see all the pain, anger, and sadness he gave her, in her eyes. She wouldn't smile up at him like she used to. She wouldn't greet him with their morning kiss. Once the sleep disappeared from her eyes when she woke, she would look up at him and immediately pull away from his arms. She would make some excuse to run away from him as far as possible-running away from the biggest mistake she thinks she made last night in a moment of weakness. What he wouldn't do to trade lives with one of those men who rejected her yesterday. He couldn't help but make fun of her to hide from his pain of seeing her look for another guy when he was standing right there in front of her the whole time. He knew he had messed up and had no right to have her but he couldn't help it. He didn't care if he was being selfish. He still loves her and that was all that mattered to him. Those men will never know how lucky they really were but he was glad that they didn't want her because he wouldn't be here right now with her if they didn't. She had no idea how much it meant to him when she invited him in. To have her in his arms again. To hear her shallow breathing as she slept. To feel her soft, silky hair slip between his fingers and to be able to inhale her familiar, calming scent that had long faded away with time from his pillow case. Wade helplessly wanted to hold on to this moment or somehow make it last longer but all he could do was lay there next to her now with her in his arms in this one, precious moment and watch her sleep with her face full of content. As time continued to pass by, he could only hope time could slow down so he had just a moment longer with her before he would have to go back to that big, empty home of his next door and lay on his cold bed. The one he knew she would never come back to and help keep him warm at night. He held her carefully in his arms now, afraid that if he held on too tightly, he would realize she wasn't really there and this would turn out to be a beautiful dream, but not wanting to let his girl slip away from his touch again. All he could do in that moment, was to pretend that she was his, and he was hers before they became a little more than just strangers again.