Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

Missing Pages

Chapter 1: Day 0 - Ice Cream Blues

Karma. It's a bitch. I'll tell it to ya now. And it loves Saix, but clearly hates me. I blame it all on this one particular afternoon where I dropped by Twilight Town and strolled around, discreetly of course, just to waste some time before I had to see his condescending face again. You know that face, right? That I've-got-a-lower-number-than-you-so-listen-to-me face. I never understood that. Why the lower numbers were the elites and why those 6 and... up were the lackeys. I guess that's just how hierarchies work.

In my opinion, a lower number just means a lower amount of work. I mean, no disrespect or anything, but, what exactly does the Superior do all the time? Y'know, other than sit around in the Round Room waiting to get it on with Saix? Oh come on, it's not like none of us have ever accidentally poofed in there while they were... Well, y'know... playing... scrabble...

But anyway, that's off topic. I was talking about that afternoon in Twilight Town.

So, there I was, sitting on this clock tower, eating up some damn good ice cream when all of a sudden, I noticed just how blue my ice cream was. It was blue, salty and it reminded me of Saix. Yeah, talk about losing my appetite. Now don't get to thinking that I threw it away. I didn't. At least, not right away. For the longest time, I was just staring at that ice cream, staring like it'd magically turn into a frozen Saix treat for me to bite its head off, though mine would be literal compared to Saix's metaphorical.

Alas, that didn't happen. My staring only, and I'm assuming here, added onto its already melting process beneath the setting sun. Maybe it was because it was melting that I felt like I had to do it. I guess I was thinking that once all that blue dripped off that stick and hit the ground 200 feet below me, I'd lose my chance. Then all at once, I just started ranting. You have not heard someone rant until you heard me that afternoon. It was just so long and winding that even I wasn't sure when I was going to stop.

I went on and on about how I hated always getting these missions pushed on me. I hated how we weren't the same anymore. I hated how his hair was so blue and how this dripping mess of "ice cream" reminded me so much of how blue his hair was. Gosh, I just started nitpicking at every little thing I could nitpick about. I picked and poked and threw into the air every detail about Saix that irritated me in this life and the last, if my memory served me correctly, which I'm rather sure it did, since it's the only thing I can hold on to now anyway.

I'm pretty sure I went on for a good 20 minutes at least. By the end of it all, my throat was dry, I was feeling my voice crack a bit at the end and my ice cream was halfway gone from all the hot air I was billowing out. Trust me, I bet some people could see the fire that was coming out of my mouth from town. That's just how insane I got.

Once I had everything out, I heaved a big sigh, looked at the ice cream, saw Saix's hair again and threw the damn thing into town like a flaming blue fireball with a stick center. I swear I hit some passerby with it, but not like I really cared at the time to really pay attention. Then, I went home. Well, that residence where all us different Nobodies reside. I don't really want to call it home per se, because from what I can remember, home was never cold and grey- and I'm not referring to the walls here- but warm and happy. It didn't feel like a home. It didn't feel like anything special at all. Just some tall building. Amongst other tall buildings. Only difference was that from time to time, lights would go on or off whereas those other buildings kept their flickering neon lights on 24/7 rain or... well, it was always raining. That and nighttime.

For who though? I'm not really sure. Maybe for those heartless roaming around, but they're born in darkness so the light doesn't really matter to them. Maybe for us? Hell, we poof in and out of the damn building. Don't know why we'd ever need lights on the streets. Even then, it's not like we're afraid of the dark.

Heh, maybe we'll have visitors.

"Axel."

I remember all this pretty well because, again, memories are all a Nobody like me has. So I committed it to memory, well, everything from this day forward. The days before this were kinda hazy, but those were human memories and are always hazy.

"Oh come on! I just get back and the first thing I get is another mission? Aren't you just a party-pooper?" I joked as I watched Saix approach me with his clipboard and pen. From the look he gave me, I knew that I had overstepped that whole "lower number means superiority" thing. Figured I'd play it his way and appease him by bringing up the mission again. "So what is it?" I asked. "Lay it on me," I said.

He wasn't too amused with my comedic stylings, but hey, the only ones that ever found me funny were that ditz Demyx and that sadist Larxene. He just gave his clipboard another glance and told me some advice. Well, I consider it advice because I'm not sure what else to call it. Maybe it was a warning? That if I screwed up, I'd get the boot or something of the sort? I could never really tell with Saix.

He said, "We'll be getting another member tomorrow, Axel." I already didn't like where this was going, but I let him continue. "You'll be in charge of him. This is straight from Superior." Now why anybody believed I would make a good babysitter probably had something wrong in the head.

See, in my memory, I remember taking care of this bird thing. A chocobo I think it was. Okay, well, someone asked me to watch it for a couple of days while they went on a trip to some place called Midgar. Being that awesome person that I was back then, I accepted the favor and took in that chubby, feathery thing. Now, I had not the slightest idea what to do with the thing. And I tried my absolute best, I swear to you I did, and that bird lived, I tell you, it lived... just long enough to see its owner come home. Once my front door opened and its owner came strolling in to pick up his pet, it was already halfway down the road to pet heaven. R.I.P. Poor thing never stood a chance, really.

Back to Saix. He was still saying, "Don't mess this up Axel. He's different from us and he needs to be watched." Here, I remember his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Be careful with him." Hm... maybe I'm not the only one who remembered the chocobo incident.

Whatever the case, I shrugged it off and nodded my head in that nonchalant way I seem to do constantly whenever a mission is handed to me on a silver platter... or clipboard. Same difference. Neither are very appealing.

"Sure, sure. I'll do it."

"Pick him up tomorrow."

Pick him up? That was new. Well, I guess it would be new since all 12 members were all just there from what I can remember. No one ever really dropped by and said, "Hey, can I join your little band of misfits and nobodies?" No pun intended there, but still. Point proven.

I guess my face had given it away because then he added, "He'll be in Twilight Town. You can't miss him."

Now do you see what I mean? Karma. I badmouth Saix for what? 20 minutes, give or take, and then he comes right back into my face, smacks it around a bit and then SLAP, right on the center with a big, though kinda cute, blond bundle of zombie with extra zombie. Maybe I should have been thankful. Who knows? It wasn't my cup of tea though. Especially not those first few days.

Do you know something? After talking to him a year later, I realize that those few days that I remember... no, that I cherished, if I may be so bold, were the ones that he had no recollection of. See, he told me that he started remembering around the seventh day. She showed up around that time, and he says that she was the first thing he really truly remembered or when he started to remember. I guess I should feel hurt, insulted, or some kind of negative feeling because of that, but alas, I have no heart and renders me, generally, unfeeling. And somewhat empty, but that goes for us all, doesn't it?

It also made sense though, that. Him not remembering that is. They were his first days. Our first days. And he was different, in all meanings of the word, just like Saix had said. But you know what really made him different to me? What made him different to this empty, lonely, Nobody me? Call it cheesy, call it sappy, but don't you dare ever call it lie.

He made me feel... like I had a heart, y'know?

MISSION COMPLETE.

TA: Whoo! My first non-AU chapter fic! I hope Axel's in character. I really, really really hope he is. o.o So, tell me how I'm doing! Sooo this was a prologue of sorts. Y'know, one of those "let's get to know each other" chapters. :)