My boyfriends are perfect. Their unending smiles, their unblinking eyes, their stuffed bodies. Some of my vast collection of dolls. I remember my first boyfriend in middle school. I loved him but at first, he didn't love me. He said that I was too childish for him. He also said that he hated farm girls like me. I knew that he was lying because this was true love. I felt it personally. It was love at first sight.
He was a Dan* at our school. Highly respected, he had everything he wanted. He had his own large group of friends, admirers, and a girlfriend. An ignorant, selfish blond named Ai. He didn't deserve the bimbo, he deserved better, he deserved me! So I took care of her. I took some chloroform and knocked her out. I still remember her trying to beg for her life, even telling me that I could take him instead! I was furious about her wanting to trade her miserable, slutty life for MY boyfriend's. I slowly made her forget about him, forever. I cut out her tongue so I didn't had to listen to her anymore. I took her to the basement, hung her by her hands to the ceiling, and had a tea party with my siblings. After tea and cookies, we needed to 'break the pinata' but we didn't have a pinata... Luckily, Ai graciously volunteered. With a wooden bat, we each had a turn hitting her but my younger siblings got to break her open. After the rest of the party, I burned her corpse and fed the flesh to the pigs. I took the pigs' remains of their meal and crushed them in the wheat mill. You can still find her to this day fertilizing the family farm. Her head is in a clear wax-filled jar in my room. The police decided that she ran away and the case went cold.
He was upset about her 'departure' but I assured him that he could find better. I, on the other hand, slowly but surely rose in the popularity ranks. I was known as the 'sweet as sugar' girl. I had to eliminate some problems to achieve this rank but for a good cause. He and I are meant to be together! He said he wanted a popular girlfriend, and I'll give him one! The families of these students all had to 'move away' from the area. Everyone liked me and I liked them. All except for him. He must've gotten a long-term concussion because he still believed that I was too weird for him. It was his new girlfriend, Mayu, who fed him lies about me. Saying that I was a stalker and an obsessive one at that. I am no stalker! She needed to pay dearly!
Mayu had the body of a doll but the personality of a spoiled dog. She would whine about the simplest things and would refuse to do anything without something in return. If only she acted as adorable as she looked! Like Ai, she needed to leave so she couldn't be a block in our relationship. I knew her one weakness that she can't resist;cosplay. She loved wearing outfits and would accept anyone no matter where they came from.
I left Mayu a note that there was a new shop in town and that they had clothes 50% off. She stupidly went to the location after *helping clean the school without telling anyone. The address was an abandoned shop where I used to go to buy costumes. When she entered the shop, I locked her in with me. She looked surprised to see me and I told her that I got a note saying that there was a new shop in town. I quickly went to find the kitchen and made tea spiked with arsenic and cyanide. I gave Mayu the tea and she reluctantly drunk the whole cup. Her eyes widened and she tried to exit the shop, not knowing the door was locked. But it was too late for her as she fell to the floor, eyes wide open watching me creep closer as she closed her eyes for the final time.
I took Mayu to the farm, stuffed her,and dressed her in the best I could find. She would be my best doll for my little sisters. I left her outside their room on their birthday and they loved her. Inviting her to tea parties and dress ups. Now Mayu can't interfere in our relationship.
At school, he was hysterical. Both of his girlfriends went missing and he was alone with no one to love him.. His friends comforted him. They told him that no one else would break his heart. No one was allowed to date him. I tried to get their consent, but they laughed and told me that even if he was dating, he wouldn't want a weirdo like me. They would pay for what they said. They'll be taken out of the equation of our relationship.
His friends were harder to collect than Ai and Mayu. It was a bigger group than I was used to so, my family helped me with the 'guest problem'. After Mayu, I was scolded about wasting things. I was told to lead them the abandoned train station* and drop them in a deep ditch we made. After I caught them my family arrived. We tied them up, took them to the farm, put them in the basement, and used them as meat. Their bones were grounded and mixed with fertilizer and are given to the local farmer's market. I believe only two are left in perfect condition. We feed them the scraps of our meals.
He was a hot mess at school after his friends 'gotten scholarships and left immediately'. He was sure that he was next. For most of high school, I assured him that he deserved better but he reacted crazily and accused me of ruining his life. I didn't ruin his life, I took away the problems in our relationship! I was devastated about his accusations. I even got his parent's approval! I didn't want to but I cried as students walked in. He received glares and biased whispers while I got sympathy. I told him (loudly so others can hear) that all I wanted was to make him happy and he cruelly pushed me aside to mope. After that incident, he wasn't as popular as he used to be. He said that after high school, he wanted to leave for Tokyo University immediately. That was the time I decided to strike.
Everyone knew that he came from a rich family. His father was a chemist and his mother was a fashion designer. And when his parents left town, he threw huge parties at his house. The night that we graduated, he threw the biggest party I had ever seen. No one would notice if a couple of people leave. They would be too drunk to notice. I took my purse full of needed objects and walked inside. Music was blaring through speakers and people were drinking alcohol everywhere! I looked for him but were blocked by some drunk jerks trying to flirt with me. You can't flirt with a girl who has a boyfriend! As their backs were turned, I spiked their drinks with chloral hydrate. They were beefy so I knew that they would last longer than others. Finally, I spotted him in the basement grinding on one of the cheerleaders, Kimiko. I despised her existence. I knew she was one of those girls who uses guys for gifts and sex. A girl like her shouldn't hang around my boyfriend. She looked edible enough. As they left dance floor and reached for their drinks, I almost immediately spiked it with my handmade chloroform powder. They fainted almost immediately after drinking my 'punch'. I called my siblings to help assist me with the others I collected. They quickly arrived and carried our 'prizes' back to the farm. I took my boyfriend to my room while my brothers and sisters took the others to the basement. As the loving girlfriend I am, I waited until he woke up. The amount of the drug was plentiful but, he woke up only two days later.
When he woke up, I wanted to make sure that no one touched him. I wanted to be the first person to see his gorgeous eyes open up. As soon as he opened his eyes, he screamed an' almost had a panic attack. I, being the gracious girl I am, calmed him down and' told him that he lives with us now. I also told him that he said that he wanted to leave town and I gave him that freedom. Looking around, he saw Ai's head in the jar and Mayu laying in a huge box. I guess he figured out that the disappearances were my doing because he yelled nonsense about me being a psychopath and he swore to arrest me for me 'crimes'. Slowly, I told him that they were obstacles in our relationship and they needed to be removed. I left my room, locked my door, and let him think about this situation.
I kept him in my room for about a couple of hours and came back in with a plate of dinner that I saved for him. He greedily accepted the meal and ate all of it not realizing that he just ate one of his friends. He wondered why the meat tasted so good and I told him that is was one of the healthiest that he could have, depending on what it ate. He asked what meat is was and I told him that it was human. He looked sick and threw up, covering the floor with puke. He slowly asked who he ate and I told him that it was most likely Kimiko. The meat was too skinny to be anyone else. He was hysterical, crying about his poor, beautiful, new girlfriend. "You could do better," I said, feeling disgusted about the showing of this emotion, "she didn't love you like I do. I did so so more for our relationship than she ever did. All she was is a walking meal that wears too much make-up and uses you for her own purposes. Why won't you listen to me that we are perfect together!" He did something that he would regret. He slapped me.
My ma saw what happened and dragged him to the basement. When I reached the basement, I saw that Pa tied him up, forced his eyes open, and was making him watch the food process. Kimiko was missing her legs and Pa drugged her so she wouldn't move. He painfully watched as Kimiko's arms were cut off with a hacksaw. The other teens watched with fear knowing that this was ultimately going to happen to them. I hid in a dark corner and smiled knowing that these people won't be missed and that they can't interfere in our relationship again.
I raced quickly upstairs to my room when I saw that the process was almost over. When he reached my room, he saw me and called me and my family repulsive, sick freaks. He locked himself in the room next door and didn't come out for days. I just sat down on the door, listened to Rotten Girl, Grotesque Romance, and patiently waited for him to unlock and accept his new life. Little did I know that it was the last time that I would wait for him.
After two weeks of slipping food, blankets, and pillows under the door and receiving empty plates, he decided to finally come out. He walked out calmly looking as fine as he walked in and asked to talk to the remaining guests. I looked at him strangely but agreed and took him to the basement. We already used Kimiko and were about to use one of the jerks from the party. I let him have five minutes to talk to them. I waited outside the door and tried to listen to the conversation inside. I heard a door opening and chain rattling and realized that he opened the basement door to the stables. So all he wanted was to take his friends and leave me! Didn't he know that they were trouble? I grabbed a nearby pitchfork, put on a gasmask, and kicked the door open. I saw that nearly all of them left and only he remained trying to release a couple of his friends. I ran to the stable side door and locked it. My siblings were taking care of the horses in the stables and would most likely catch them all again. He and his friends didn't notice me as I crept up behind them. They realized that the door was locked again and saw me. But it was too late for him and his friends. When I came in, I put a concentrated chloroform mixture in the air. His beautiful eyes drooped down and he crumpled on the floor. I relocked the chains on his friends, and dragged him down the stairs to 'the hospital room', not caring how many times his head hit the floor.
When he woke up, he saw that he was chained to a hospital bed by his ankles. He tried to escape but the shackles didn't allow him to go far. I told him that he had almost wasted his chances for true love and that this was his punishment. I was fed up with his attempts to leave me! If I couldn't have him, no one could! I covered his face with a towel and poured water on him. I sweetly told him that all he had to do was to admit that he loved me and it would be over soon. He refused and I just kept his eyes covered. I put chains on his hands connecting to the wall. I taped an old set of headphones on his ears and turned Lavender Town Syndrome on repeat. I left him in the all white solitary room for a day, forced to stand and listen to the suicide-inducing song. When I came back and removed the cloth and headphones from his face. He looked utterly terrified. He begged for me to let him go. To this day, I still can compare his begging to Ai's pathetic wailing. After a while of mindless whining, he said that he loved me and I was ecstatic! All of this work has finally cleared his precious head. I gave him a plate of breakfast spiked with sleeping pills and ate it all. He drowsily fell asleep and I unlocked the cuffs on his ankles, putting him to bed. I was just so happy! I wished on a star that he would love me and it came true! Now all I needed to do is to make him love me forever, just like the Disney songs tell.
Entering his room, I wore a gas mask and my younger brother Tsubasa walked in behind me. He had brought his science kit with some of the ingredients added with the 'donation' of chemicals from my boyfriend's father. My boyfriend was cuffed to the bed by his hands and was hooked up to a IV. He couldn't see what we were doing. Tsubasa finally made me what I was looking for: Needles and canisters full of *nitrous oxide. After Tsubasa left, I sealed the door and windows with cloth. I didn't want any gases or sounds to escape. I ejected the plasma in the IV with the liquid. He began to chuckle. I took his oxygen mask and connected them with the canisters. I twisted the valve on the canisters so the gas can escape and almost immediately, he started to laugh loudly. After a while he started to chortle erratically and suddenly grabbed his chest, clawing at it wildly. As that was happening, I told that now he would love me forever because the love for me would be the last emotion that he could feel. He suddenly stopped moving and I went to check my work. He was smiling, his eyes looking straight at me. I began to chuckle. Now he could stay with me no matter what! I just needed to adjust some things.
To keep him perfect, I had to stuff his body to make sure that he didn't decay. I wouldn't want him to leave me! I put him in one of his school uniforms from school and they fit perfectly! To keep him as cool as he was, I left the temperature as cold as it could be. I watched through the glass as he slowly froze up with him still smiling at me. I took him out on special occasions and dressed him up with his finest clothes. But after a while, I started to get bored of his stillness and the silence of our conversations. As I started to go to a public university, I saw someone. He looked more beautiful than my boyfriend ever was. I realized what I wanted in the whole wide world: a new boyfriend. I would treat him better than any other girlfriend would. When I told my first boyfriend that I was breaking up with him he just stared and smiled. He was okay with me breaking up with him! I told him that he would get a new friend. And off I went, to find my new boyfriend.
So now here I am, twenty two with my collections of old boyfriends in the hospital room of the family farm, lying in beds staring at my face when I enter the room. I found a name for what I am. People would say that I'm a psychopath and major help but I'm not psychotic. I'm a yandere. I just want the love of a boyfriend. To have someone other than my family love me. Even if I have five, I feel like they're bored of me. I'll get them a new friend for them. I'll get a new boyfriend for me and someone new for them to talk to. They talk to each other when I'm not listening or when I leave the room. I can hear whispers coming from the room when I sleep. Tomorrow I'll find someone perfect to be my new boyfriend and a new friend for my old ones. I know the perfect candidate. I just need the right opportunity to strike.
End
*Yandere: The word "yandere", a term that blossomed in moe fandom, refers to a character who is crazy about someone else...often literally and violently.
*Dan: A rank of Kendo that can be equivalent to a black belt in karate.
Train Stations: Students (and other citizens) in Japan usually take train stations to get to the place of their desire.
*Japanese School Hours : Usually, a Japanese student starts school around 8:00 and leaves at 5:00
*Nitrous Oxide: Also known as laughing gas, it can be used for medical and found in whipped cream canisters and the exhaust of race cars.