Ahhhh yes, the shit storm can finally continue. Oh I've missed this, my shitty fanfictions were wonderful.
And now I've made them even worse. Even better, you get to experience the cringe every Wednesday and Saturday, aren't you lucky?
So for you poor people who've never read this terrible story, this is a re-write of It's Complicated (which has been taken down because ew), and I hope it's not as bad this time. For people who've experienced my cringey weeaboo-ness, you know what's in store.
Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form own any of the Durarara characters. All credit for the Durarara hoes goes to Ryhogo Narita, I only own my own shitty OCs.
Warning: Vulgar language and general cringe lies ahead.
I'm sorry.
-Uso has joined the chat-
Uso: Hello!
Kanra: Welcome!
Taro Tanaka: Hey
Setton: What's up?
Uso: I'm finally moving to Japan! Any advice?
Kanra: Depends on where you're moving to in Japan
Uso: Ikebukuro
Taro Tanaka: Really? I just moved there today!
Uso: Oh that's cool, maybe we could meet up sometime!
Setton: Ikebukuro huh? My only advice is to be careful around Shizuo Heiwajima
Kanra: Or avoid him completely, he's absolutely crazy
Uso: Alright...I'll keep that in mind. Anything else?
Taro Tanaka: My friend told me to stay away from some guy named Izaya Orihara
Uso: Got it.
Taro Tanaka: Anyways...Did you guys see the Black Rider today?
Setton: I guess you could say I was in the area
Kanra: You know what I heard?
Uso: What crazy conspiracy did you hear this time Kanra?
Kanra: I heard the Black Rider is headless
Kanra: But they still move, like a monster
Kanra: Or maybe a Shinigami
Uso: A god of death?
Uso: Kanra, how high are you right now?
Setton: Yeah Kanra, that's ridiculous
Taro Tanaka: Yeah Kanra… I doubt that
Setton: Look gotta go!
Uso: Bye Setton
-Setton has left the chat room-
Taro Tanaka: I gotta go too, bye guys
Kanra: Bye~
Uso: Bye dude, good luck
-Taro Tanaka has left the chat room-
Kanra: So where're you moving from?
Uso: America, why?
Kanra: I just thought it was interesting that's all
Kanra: What's it like there?
Uso: Pretty shitty.
Kanra: Ha~ that's funny
Uso: How is that funny? It's true
Uso: Look, gotta go…
Kanra: Bye Uso~
-Uso has left the chat room-
I sighed, shutting down my laptop and returning it to its rightful home in my carry-on bag and stood up. They'd just began boarding my flight and I definitely didn't want to miss that. Sure, my dad had "paid," for my ticket so it wasn't like I'd be wasting money, but I just really wanted to get out of here.
'Finally, a fresh start,' the thought rolled around in my head as I boarded my flight and took my seat on the plane which was located right in between a rather obese "gentleman," (if you could call him that) as well as an irritable looking woman whom I just know was going to give me hell for 12 hours. Boy am I excited.
My mood worsened when I realized that I'd accidently put my headphones in my other luggage so not only was I stuck with two people who'd make me suffer, I also didn't have my headphones as an escape.
"Fuck."
The first thing I did when I got into my new apartment was slide down on the floor and sigh. I had jetlag, yet, without furniture, I couldn't sleep and get better. Oh you poor thing with your first world problems. After several pitiful minutes, I came to terms with the fact that I'd have to set up the furniture I'd bought beforehand, or sleep on germ infested, dust covered, hardwood floor.
"Fuuuuccccckkkkkk nuggets." I uttered gracefully as I trudged out of my apartment to the truck I'd rented. 'Better sooner than later,' I tried to comfort myself, but the words of encouragement had absolutely no effect on my already destroyed hope.
As I opened the back of the truck and peered in, my eyes scanning the audience of furniture-thankfully not from Ikea- I realized this was not a one man job, let alone, a one woman who's 22 and too lazy and jetlagged job. "Fuuuccckkkkkkk!"
I blew my electric blue bangs out of my eyes and sighed, returning back upstairs to where my apartment was located. I knocked on the door next to mine and my hopes skyrocketed when I actually heard footsteps approaching the door.
"Hmm?" A man with bleach blonde hair and honey colored eyes answered the door, a just lit cigarette in one hand. His face twisted into slight confusion as if he was trying to figure out who the hell I was and what I wanted. "Do I know you?"
"No...See I'm new here and I was just wondering if you could help me move my stuff into my new apartment?" My lips curled upwards in a hopeful smile and my mind was practically screaming 'PLEASE!'
"Where is it?" He took a long drag from his cigarette and I felt his eyes staring down at my small form.
"Right there." I pointed to the door next to his. "It's fine if you don't want to, trust me I'll understand."
"No, no I'll help you." He waved his hand, my guess was that he was gesturing "no it's fine, no problem." My weeaboo instincts were screaming it, and they hadn't failed me before so I felt relieved.
"Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!" My entire face brightened and I quickly went back down to the truck, with him following behind me. He looked over the few items I had and much to my surprise, picked up the box that held my not-yet-built-bed with ease; he looked like he was holding a stuffed bear rather than a heavy ass box.
I grabbed a box full of kitchen items and went back up to my room, with him leading the way. We continued this process until we'd successfully loaded everything from the truck to my new home.
I quickly dug through my purse and pulled out a couple crumpled up bills and held them out to him. He seemed confused by this, giving me a rather odd look. "What're you doing?" His voice sounded monotone despite his face having puzzlement written all over it as if it'd been scrawled on with permanent marker.
"Well I just...figured you deserved it...since you helped out and all…" I muttered quietly, looking down.
"Keep it." He answered simply, but I still refused. My dad had always called me a stubborn mule, and well, he wasn't wrong. I shook my head and continued to hold out the money. I wanted him to have it, he had helped me out after all. He sighed and took the money from my hands, and before I could even react he'd taken my purse. I gasped in surprise and tried to regain it until I saw that he was simply putting the crisp paper bills back in my bag.
"Why don't you want it?" I cocked my head to the side in curiosity. His response was a simple shrug as he handed my bag back and pulled out a box of cigarettes.
I decided to change the subject, rather than just stand in front of this tower of a man in an awkward silence so painful morphine couldn't even fix it.
"Since we're going to be neighbors I guess I should introduce myself." I held out my hand-what with my American ways- and gave a welcoming smile. "I'm Melody Worstchester, it's very nice to meet you." He simply stared down at my hand in confusion and I remembered that I wasn't in America anymore. "Oh right! Sorry, in America people shake each other's hands to greet each other…" I gave a nervous chuckle. He seemingly reluctantly took my hand after a moment-almost as if he was afraid he'd break it and shook it gently.
"Heiwajima Shizuo." His face remained expressionless but his tone seemed a little lighter, a little friendlier. So friendly in fact, that his name flew straight over my head and it took me a solid two minutes to recognize it.
'Shizuo Heiwajima? As in the one Kanra'd called crazy? The one Setton had told me never to piss off? Could this possibly be the man they were talking about?' My mind was going rampant, I studied his features over and over, yet I still came to the same conclusion. This man didn't look dangerous. He didn't seem dangerous or insane at all. He seemed like a perfectly normal guy. To me, he didn't seem crazy, he didn't look like a psychopath, he didn't give off the vibe of a gang member-or leader- I didn't get the aura of a murderer or con man. The only thing I could sense that was out of the ordinary was the restraint this man had. It was as if he was constantly restraining himself. But why? What was he holding himself back from? Was he trying to hold back his crazed behavior or was it something else entirely?
I came back down to earth when I realized he'd been snapping his fingers in front of my face for a solid two minutes now. "You ok there? You just sort of spaced out and looked as if your brain had died."
"I was just trying to figure out where I'd heard your name before was all. It sounded kinda familiar." I briefly explained, and I saw his face contort into some kind of annoyance.
"So you've heard about me then? From who? Was it that damn flea Izaya?" At the very mention of his name his face grew dark, his eyes glazed in absolute fury, and I saw why Setton had told me not to anger this man.
I quickly shook my head, hoping to help calm him down. 'Izaya? That sounds familiar too? Could he mean Izaya Orihara, the other one I was warned to avoid?' I pondered before licking my chapped lips and answering him. "I had heard your name online from a few friends in a chat room I go on a lot. I asked them for tips since I was moving here and one of them told me to try not to piss you off."
"Oh." His reply was simple and though it was short, I heard the strain leaving his voice and I saw his muscles untense. "I see then."
"I don't know why they seemed so afraid of you though, I mean you seem like a pretty cool guy." He scoffed at my comment-that I actually meant 99%- and rolled his eyes, but he didn't reply. He simply left me alone, confused and returned to his own apartment.
-Uso has joined the chat-
Uso: Hey!
Kanra: Yo! Glad you could come, I was getting lonely~
Uso: Awww you poor thing, what a tragedy.
Kanra: Oh you're so mean to me Uso
Kanra: How was your first day in Ikebukuro?
Uso: It was actually pretty nice. I moved into my new apartment and did actual work today, which I wasn't at all expecting.
Kanra: All by yourself? Wow, that's impressive!
Uso: No, I got help from someone.
Kanra: Really? It's only your first day and you're already making friends? Oh I'm so jealous~
Uso: We're just neighbors...Though I'd like to be his friend, he actually seemed pretty cool.
Kanra: Who is it?
Uso: I don't think I should reveal the names of my neighbors…
Kanra: Oh come on I won't tell anyone, you can trust me!
Uso: Shizuo Heiwajima
Kanra: …
Uso: I don't understand why you all warned me about him, he actually seems really nice
Uso: Why is everyone so scared of him anyways?
Kanra: Sorry! I have to go! See ya later Uso~
Uso: Can't you tell me why everyone's so afraid of Shizuo before you go? Please!
-Kanra has left the chat-