Regrets
By: Nitaki
I love the sound of the rain. The soft pitter patter of the cold drops as the streak down the windows. The heavy gray clouds that hang suspended in the sky as the people on the streets rush to their houses. All the people. All the people but me. I love the rain, I embrace the feeling of cool wetness as it streaks over my skin. It chills me, gives me something to think about other than the pain. The torture of living. But even more, I can cry freely in the rain. It covers my face with cool droplets, and my warm salty tears blend easily with the rain as they slide across my face. That is the best thing about the rain.
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I often see her. Standing by the grave, her pale skin so milky it looks almost blue. Her eyes are always closed, those eyes that used to shine with laughter and love. The same eyes that are now hollow. Dead. Cold. That was the worst, I decided. Cold. She used to be so warm hearted, but now she seems to be a living statue. She doesn't move at all. She just sits. Sits, and waits.
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I know he watches me. I can feel his piercing gaze. I don't care. I don't care what he thinks of me. I am who I am. I watch a thin hand snake out to trace the words on the grave in front of me. Cool, wet stone reaches my fingertips. My eyes widen. That pale, sickly looking hand… is my own? I bring my hands to my face. White, thin hands are in front of my eyes. Yes. Yes, they are mine. I reach back down to trace the words in the stone, the words I have traced so many times. 'He was a good teacher, a good friend, and a good husband'. That's all it read, other than his name. Tears fill my eyes, and I let them fall. Lifting my face to the sky, it begins to rain.
/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ I still see her. Standing by the grave. It's been a year now, and she still can't get over it. I lean against the cool window pane. How can she live in such a way? I know she feels guilty, but she can't go on like this. I sigh, and feel my heart clench. How can such a beautiful person come so undone? I turn from the window. I'd loved her always, ever since I was young. I pretended I didn't care when she chose him over me. But it cut me. Sliced through my heart. So how can I still feel love for her, after all her refusals, her rejections. I turn back to the window, but she is gone. She always disappears without a trace, like a shadow. I love her.
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The season for rain is coming to a close. I don't think I can handle the sun without him. I stare at the marble stone ahead of me. Why couldn't it have been me, not him, who was sent to heaven? Tears threaten, but I hold them back. It's not raining, so I cannot cry. My nails dig into my palms, and a warm wetness washes over them. Blood. Numb, I wipe my hand on the head stone. I feel no pain, but this ache inside of me. It's eats at me, from my soul on out. My hands clench. My world is a cold, hard cage. I cannot go on like this. Tomorrow… Tomorrow, this would all end.
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I went to the grave today. He was my friend, and my excuse was that it was time for me to pay my respects to the dead. But I really just wanted to see her. I trace his name, and frown at the mysterious brown stain that coats the top of the stone. It looks like congealed blood. Twigs crunch, and I spin around. There she is. My love. My heart beat picks up. She is beautiful, even in mourning. But her eyes… I almost want to flinch away from their cold, unseeing stare. I smile, try to speak. But my throat is dry, my brain is racing. I cannot think. Nervously, I nod, and walk away quickly, my hands in my pockets. Her hands were bandaged, I though vaguely. Then, Tomorrow… Tomorrow, I will make things right.
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I watch him leave without a word. I almost call out to him, call his name, but I can't remember it. I can't recall how to speak. So I watch him go. He is gone, and I turn to the head stone. Soon, I think. Soon, we will be reunited. If not in life, than in death.There will be a quick pain, I know. And then, blackness. Blessed, silent black. I finger the tool of my destruction in my pocket. I jerk it out. Darkness.
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They found her body slumped over his gravestone. She was smiling. Tears fall unheeded from my face. I loved her. And now she was gone. Just like him. My knuckles are bloody from pounding them against the wall. Gone. I curse at the sky. She's gone! Later, when I've calmed down, I think, What if I had spoken to her?
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well, folks, there it is! my Kaka/Saku/Naru love triangle!! Incase anyone was wondering, Kakashi is the dead guy, Sakura is the girl (dur) and guess who Naruto is! So, yeah. Another one-shot coming up soon, which''ll be Gaara Sakura. And no one dies! -does happy jig- Of course, there will be some blood. I mean, it's Gaara! Um, I rated in Teen for saftey. Do you think i could move it to K+? Please tell me. Reviews are always loved!