A/N: This is an old story I've decided to revamp, with a new title (no comment) and a slightly drastic change to the plot. I finally had the guts to brave my old account and read what I wrote three years ago. I can't say I regret it!

A little background before we start: I wrote this approximately four to five years ago, when I was experiencing.. normal teenage problems (angst and all~ I was and maybe still am an emo child LOL). I can confidently say that that time of my life was the core of this story, and I wasn't afraid to write about it! Unfortunately, my 'writing about it' was mostly my venting, and my kind of venting is running around in circles with an unhealthy amount of fume being excreted.

Without further ado~

Boyanotrophicophobia

prologue

Trauma

Naminé POV

I, Naminé, am afraid of boys (it's called boyanotrophicophobia, if you must know).

There, I admitted it. Satisfied?

Oh, are you curious? Since I'm generous, I'll tell you all about it. This great 'fear' began back in sixth grade.

See, I have these super awesome best friends, the siblings Pence and Olette. We've been an inseparable trio ever since we were diapers; I'm not exaggerating! Well, Kairi (my twin sister) used to be a part of our group, but come around fourth grade, she found a best friend in Sora (who later on became her boyfriend and subsequently made my sister boring) and ditched us. Anyway, it had always been the three of us.

There's always that time in life when a person's hormones comes and destroys brains. It's not so bad if you're the one with the raging cells, but if you're at the wrong end, then it's all a living hell.

We always hear of stories about how childhood friends get together ten years later: they start out as playmates, then when puberty decides to pay a visit things get all awkward until either girl or boy gathers up the courage to confess her or his feelings to the other party, then vice versa, all that. I admit I find it cute, and sometimes I'm a sucker for stories like that.

However, it's not cute when you're the victim of such… nonsense!

I have always been contented being best friends with the siblings. Why, it's not so bad playing board games and sports together, nor is it harmful going out to grab a bite in the middle of the night. It's just weird knowing while you only feel brotherly (or sisterly, in some cases) love towards that person, said person has elevated emotions towards you.

It's disgusting.

Or maybe it's because I have never in my entire life believed Pence was a looker, if you know what I mean.

I guess it all started there, with those darned hormones: Olette began looking at boys, and in return they looked at her, I guess. I'm not sour graping or anything. Olette is pretty, for your information!

When Olette snagged a boy (some say he took her first, but whatever, the point is that they're together), it made Pence sad because his sister paid less attention to him.

It was not that Pence was left with me and 'one thing led to another' (god forbid), but since he looked up to his sister so much, he ended up believing he needed a girlfriend too, just to keep up with her. Deranged, or what?

I remember he started with inviting me out to eat ice cream, just the two of us. Stupid as I was, I agreed to go with him. I mean, hello, it's just freaking ice cream. And anyway, it's not like I was uncomfortable being around some person I'd been friends with since the beginning of time.

We met up outside the ice cream parlor, and then went in to get a table together. I think I don't need to tell you what happened inside, because it's all routinely. Anyways, while waiting for our orders, we started talking and laughing about, well, anything and everything, as usual. Nothing bad!

It was when we were in the middle of our snacks that he told me oh so casually: "I like you, Naminé."

And the stupid person named Naminé said "I like you too," and mind you, I had a smile on my face.

Hey, don't blame me. I wasn't leading him on! To be honest, I thought his 'like' meant 'you're the bestest sister that isn't Olette,' not 'please be my girlfriend and let me touch you.' Seriously! That's why my 'like' meant 'you're such an awesome brother,' and not 'okay I'll be yours.'

You can imagine what was going in his head that time, and it's not pretty. I guess I don't have to give you a hint either.

The next week was a living hell, the highlight of my sixth grade: he went around school telling people he had a girlfriend. At first I was happy that he found someone, but then when I realized it was me, I kind of marched up to the pudgy boy and yelled at him for being stupid. He explained to me what happened, and what he got in return was a slap on the cheek, and I received a verbal attack from my best friend, all in one day.

I'm not exaggerating when I say I spent my whole sixth grade scowling at the world to the point that Kairi had to take me into her circle of friends. How pitiful.

I also did my share of hate, which you don't really need to know about.

Anyway, that was years ago.

But of course, I haven't changed much; just check out the first sentence of this story.

I'm seventeen now, and still single, much Kairi's dismay (just because she can't remember what being freedom feels like). Oh, I have guy friends –correction, acquaintances– but none I'd consider… you know (except for Riku and of course Sora, who are like brothers to me). Especially after Pence.

Correction: especially because of Pence. You'd think some violent thrashing would shake him off, but he never let go. It's sickening and creepy, if you ask me. I'd go into detail, but it's just so sad.

Just thinking about it...

Hormones are stupid, if you ask me. They taint every innocent and perfect friendship between a boy and a girl.

I know I'm not supposed to 'let him bring me down,' or any of those girl power pep talk, but you don't know what it feels like, seriously. It's not fun having someone tell you it's your fault, when you didn't do anything except be naïve and, well, stupid like me. It's not fun having that time of your life stuck to the back of your mind either.

Pence.

Ugh.

He is the reason why there shouldn't be any men in the world.

He is also the reason why Olette and I aren't talking anymore. If it's one thing I want to salvage from this mess it's the friendship I had with Olette.

Anyway, I have to go out later. Kairi said she wants to go with her and Sora to eat ice cream.

She's so predictable, my sister. I bet it's some trap again, the trap being a blind date.

You know what? I shouldn't care anymore. I'll just scare him, piss him off, disgust him.

I'm just too good at that.

I'm only too good at that because I do those all the time.

o0o

A/N:And it's the end of the prologue!

Hmm I remember going through hell that time. Heartache. (It sounds like a harmless infliction of pain, but trust me, it isn't.) The older version of this (and it's quite entertaining, actually! Minus the embarrassing stuff) is somewhere in FFN, if you're curious. I basically wrote my heart out then, and I'm just relieving the past now.

Anyways, off memory lane, what do you think so far? Is it worth continuing, or is it meant to be trashed? The more reviews the better!