Real Bros Dot Com Part 1
So kids, there was one time me and your uncle Barney was in the bar, half naked, and covered in ketchup. Why? Let me tell you first why we were half naked.
It all started when your uncle Marshall told us about this cool website, . It's about two really big guys, talking non-sense and always fist-bumping each other every time one of them says the word "awesome", which they always say.
"Awesome, right?!" Marshall said, then fist bumping Lily.
"It's like a really upgraded version of Barney! Handsome, never yucky, and there's two of them!" Lily said.
"Fan alert. You guys know they read my blog." Barney said.
"You're right. They had to name the girl Robin." Robin added.
"Will you guys stop that? They're not really that awesome." Barney uttered.
Then all of us reached in to fist bump him.
The next day, Barney called me to the bar and asked me to help him with his Death Star life-size toy. Now remembering this story really makes me feel dumb. I mean, a Death Star? That's has like the size of a planet! So I went to the bar and…
"Carl! Can you call in the director please?" Barney said in a pleasing way while fixing the arm buttons of his suit.
"Barney? What the hell is this?" I asked.
McLarens changed. There were no stools, only our booth placed in center, there were also no customers, just a bunch of people taking care of cameras, lighting, audio, and a bunch of girls putting on make-up. It almost seemed like…
"An internet show!" Barney said in his usual voice.
"What? Wait, is this about the two big guys who always fist-bumps when they say the word awesome?" I asked and we fist-bumped.
"NO! And we'll never fist-bump again after the word awesome!" Barney said. And then Fist-bump.
"You know why I did this Ted?" Barney asked.
"I don't really want to…" And before I complete my sentence…
"You're right! It's about informing the poor, poor citizens of New York, the ones who've been lied, deceived about Bromanship, the true meaning of how to ride awesomeness." Barney said in a proud way.
"So do we still fist-bump in Awesomeness, or just awesome?"
Then we fist-bumped. I don't know if it was the awesomeness, or awesome, who knows.
"So what, we're gonna imitate their show?" I asked.
"No, those two bastards already cancelled their show." Barney said.
"What? Why? Marshall loved that show."
"Yeah… or more like loved those two." Barney said.
So we did the first episode of the show.
"Hello, ladies, gentlemen, and single ladies of New York City. I am Barney Stinson, at your service." Barney said. He also said "New York City" in a odd way, and he also winked at the end.
"This is my non-speaking friend Ted." Barney said, then immediately whispered yet loudly said to me…
"It's okay Ted, your wish is coming true."
So for short the show was awkward… especially at the end.
"So for our dear ladies… we are ending tonight's show with a boom!" Barney said.
"Really? Boom?" I whispered to him
"Ready? We are gonna take our clothes… wait for it…"
Then the lights turned off.
"OFF! YES! But of course with the lights on, CAARL!" Barney shouted every caps, and fast-talked every thing except for the caps.
I wasn't going to take my shirt off but one of the girls Barney hired looked excited. She was biting her lip, curling her hair, and most importantly, looking at me. So I won't disappoint her.
"You know what? Let's do this." I said to Barney.
"YES! So, ready? This is gonna be awesome!" High tone Awesome, classic Barney.
And so we did. Then Marshall, Lily and Robin went in the McLarens.
"Guys guys! You'd never believe what just happened!" Marshall said while holding a big bag of Ketchup. Then he tripped on one of the wires, and the bag exploded, covering us in Ketchup. Why was uncle Marshall holding a big bag of Ketchup? What was the thing that just happened? Well, we need to back up to the time Marshall told us the website of .