Day 1: Regret
Although she knew it wasn't actually necessary, being the chief of police often demanded her to act tough, just like how her name was pronounced; Toph—she wondered if that was the reason why her parents chose her that name since in their term she was incapable. And by being an earthbender, her personality had somehow synchronized the earth itself; rugged, steady, and independent.
And as much as she started to feel welled up inside, she wouldn't let anyone—with no exceptions—see her delicate side. Showing weakness would be against her principal. She even transmitted her badassery to her daughter, especially while she was born fatherless—who would teach her those sick tricks had it not been her?
Lin was taught to knock down whoever calling her a loser because she couldn't earthbend properly until the age of fourteen. She was trained to keep her feet solid and firm to remain strong and balanced. She was disciplined to be self-determined and autonomous because there was no other person to rely on in their small family.
And as mothers should be, Toph loved her. She took care of her daughter with her own level of motherhood; she'd punch her playfully by the shoulder and tell her she was beautiful even when she couldn't see, she'd cradle her in her arms only to toss her back on the bed and tickled her when she was upset, she'd yell at her when she came home late and ground her in a wooden room where she couldn't bend anything to get out. Lin was the only person Toph had ever loved so dearly in her life. She seemed to have fixed the crack in her heart that had formed a long time ago. Way, way back when Twinkletoes announced his engagement with Sugarqueen.
Toph didn't have to glide her hand up to her heart to listen to its ached beating. Apparently, the pain was still there. And the whole goddamn situation was too familiar she didn't even have to recall the event.
The airbender was right there, at the center of the hall, drawing attention from the whole guests while dancing with her newly-wed wife. Her steps were clumsy, impeded by the long traditional air nomad garb, but his hands were secured on her waist to keep her from falling. Then he took his woman's arm, pulling it up over her head and twirled her around—the tail of her silk dress swept around the floor and Toph could smell the sweet scent of lotus flower from the bride's loose auburn hair. The couple stopped dancing when the music ended to share a kiss and bowed to the guests surrounding them.
That was when Toph's heart shattered. She immediately felt lament—not because she was too ignorant of her own feelings, not because she was trying to tell herself a pretense by notifying that this was okay, not because she had let go of Aang for Katara albeit she knew it hurt like hell. She wouldn't lament about those things because aside than Twinkletoes was essentially happy, those painful things had made her stronger and had allowed herself to admit she should open her heart to accept love from another person.
In that very same moment, the earthbender felt another indignant heartbeat not too far from her and her heart started to flood with more grief. Keeping her chin up, she forbade herself to frown as she approached the person.
"I'm sorry," the person said. "I don't think I could feel anymore broken than this."
Toph let out a sigh and nodded, resting her hand on the person's shoulder. "It's okay," she replied, sensing the person looking up and staring at the newly-wed couple longingly.
Her hand fell back to her side limply while the sorrow in her heart started to make her lightheaded. Really, she was the worst human being ever. For when she had finally learned to love someone else, she couldn't dispute that someone from misery. Let alone, allowing her worst nightmare to happen to that person just because she was afraid to bring it up.
"It's okay, Lin," she said once more, making sure her voice was assertive and clear.
"At least Tenzin is happy now with Pema," her daughter answered.
Really, Toph was the worst human being ever.
