Let this be a warning,
To you in doubt of smiles,
That we will never leave,
'though distant a few miles.
I stared up at the stars, those cold beacons in space. There were people who believed them to be souls, good spirits lightening the dark night. Unfeeling logic told me the truth, that they were blazing spheres of hydrogen, and that no afterlife stayed there. No contentment was obtained by that knowledge, only pain. For, if she wasn't there, where could she be? She spent her life there, so where was she now?
Moisture welled up in my eyes, and I bowed my head. I had been through too much to cry, but I still felt sorrow of her loss, like it was yesterday. To an immortal being, it really was just yesterday. It reminded me of how I would outlast everyone. All the… friends, though the word came sparingly to my lips. They would leave me barren and alone once more, as I swam unchanged through the centuries. I would always be alone.
"Hey, Shads." The blue annoyance walked over to the hill where I was gazing at the sky. I continued my vigilance, having heard him approach.
"What do you want?"
"It's one of those nights, huh?"
"What does that mean?"
"You're thinking about Maria, and then about how you live forever, but everybody else doesn't. You wonder if it's really worth it at all to have friends if you're gonna just get the heartburn when it's all said and done."
I was dumbfounded by his keen-eyed perceptiveness, and his ability to read my thoughts like they were spread out on a page. Better, actually, seeing as he rarely picked up literature. I fumbled for a retort.
"Heartburn? Really? So I'll get acid reflux? Oh, no."
"Not even your comments have the usual bite, bro." He sat down next to me. "Look, I know it's rough. I've seen you come out here time after time, and then go home with the most sad look I've ever seen. I know it's hard, but you've gotta cope, somehow. Otherwise this'll just rot you inside."
The hurt inside me just lashed out, and I was horrified at what came out: "And how has that worked out for you, huh? You can't be alone for six seconds or you go catatonic. Good coping strategy. Getting over everything well, I see." Immediately, his face froze into that false smile he wore whenever that was brought up. It spoke of unimaginable pain, of endless nights spent weeping, alone, his only memories of his family being ripped away. It told me of months, years in that same torment, and of the irreparable damage that resulted.
"Thank you, Shadow." His sarcasm was complete and his tone bitter. "I had almost forgotten that I was an orphan. I needed to know that." I wanted to punch myself in the face. Goddamnit, I wasn't the only one with a loss.
"Look, Sonic…"
"Don't you mean Faker? Go on. You're my 'arch-rival', right? You should love every second."
I sighed. "I'm sorry. I was…" I stopped, unable to think of an explanation.
Unexpectedly, instead of a cynical remark, he too sighed. "Let me guess. You were thinking about Maria, and then I came close to the mark, so the emotion had to vent. It usually goes to the most cutting thing you can say. Congrats, you found it." There was no bitterness in that comment, simply a sad sincerity.
Again, I was startled how well he knew me. "Sonic, I'm sorry, honestly." And then it struck me, why he knew so well: He'd been there. He knew every kind of pain I had experienced, and every kind of repercussion from the pain. No wonder when I met some of the Sonic Team they'd been so understanding… And defensive.
"I saw that light go up in your head. It's alright, I've gotten over most of it. As for being alone, well… That, I think, won't ever get fixed." He got up and faced toward home, his back to me.
I tried to think of something, anything to say, but there was nothing that could excuse my words. I cursed myself, sure I had lost one of my only friends. I expected him to leave, to let me stew. I was his 'arch-rival' after all.
He constantly surprises me. "C'mon, Shads. Let's go home."
"What? To your house? Why?" I admit, I was shocked at the fact he offered. Shocked... but grateful. Inexplicably thankful to have someone to share my nightly vigil with.
"Because it has chili-dogs or something. I dunno, just move already." He dashed off.
Shaking my head in wonder, I followed. In a matter of minutes, we found ourselves at the small cottage he called home. Once inside, he moved with purpose, going to the kitchen and setting out two beers and two chili-dogs. He snapped the tops off the bottles in two swift motions and handed me one.
"I didn't know you drank, Sonic." It was the truth. I'd never seen him drink, but I saw rows of beers lining the refrigerator.
"There is a ton you don't know, bro. Cheers." He clinked the beer against mine and chugged it quickly. He threw it with a practiced toss over his shoulder into a bucket, aiming perfectly. This was not the first time he'd done that motion. He put the food in the microwave and started it.
I swallowed, unable to think of a way not to offend him while explaining that I'd rather eat nuclear waste than a chili-dog. Thankfully, he pulled them out and put them on a single plate.
Sitting next to me, he grinned slightly. He waved the plate towards my nose and placed it before himself. "Don't worry, Shads. I know one of your faults, but I still love you."
His words shocked me. I was… loved. Yes, loved. It was a rare emotion to see toward the antisocial loner I portrayed, but it felt good. Like I had family, despite being created instead of born. By the time I finished pondering this, he had finished devouring the meal. He stood up and beckoned me toward another room.
I finished the beer I had been sipping, chucked it into the same bucket, and followed him. What I found, stunned me profoundly.
There was indeed quite a bit I apparently did not know about this duplicate of mine. For, set at central stage of his living room, sat a beautiful grand piano. Who'd have thought that the modern, 'cool' Sonic would know anything of this elegant intstrument.
He slid into the seat easily, as if part of a daily routine. He stretched and patted the seat next to him. I sat down hesitantly.
"Here, Shadzy, is a little bit of history for you. Sonic T. Hedgehog wasn't always the deadbeat of today- at one point he was even a composer!" He cracked his knuckles and began to play.
There is a point when things no longer shock you.
I still hadn't reached that point. Flowing notes and crescendos reached my ear, and I could scarcely believe what I saw. His fingers danced across the keys, spreading entrancing melodies spinning through the air. I stared, open-mouthed, at the incredible demonstration of musical talent that this azure maniac produced. His face lightened, visibly remembering better memories, and I was touched to the core that he would share this moment with me. He was putting himself, heart and soul, on display for me, and I would never forget it.
After a few minutes, the tune slowed, and finally stopped. He looked at me with a satisfied expression.
"That was "What is Lost and Broken" by a certain blue hedgehog. I made it a long time ago, but I never forgot. It was even a rebel theme song for awhile, although I never told the Freedom Fighters just where I found the piano sheets." His eyes twinkled in merriment. "I bet you know how fun it can be to keep a secret, eh Shads?"
"You never cease to surprise me." I said, amazed.
"Now it's your turn!" He said, gesturing at the instrument.
"I don't think I can play this, not nearly as well as you, anyway."
"But you can try, and that's what matters. I've just had lots of practice... and lots to remember. Put your emotions into the song, and I guarantee you'll sound great."
I couldn't deny him, not that night. I put my fingers to the keys tentatively
The names of sounds came flickering into my mind. A little ditty I had learned, all those years ago. I hit a D-sharp on both ends, letting the note echo through the room. Then, I added B-flat twice, and an F-sharp after that. I hit C-sharp and F, F, F, F… F-sharp, B and D-sharp, the notes oddly specific, and oddly mournful. I stopped for a moment, surprised at the wave of sorrow that descended over me at those simple notes. I looked at Sonic, and he nodded.
"Let it go."
And I did. Tumbling keys, shifting chords and altogether beautiful music ran from my fingertips. Tones I could and did not know jumped out of the piano, weaving a path of pain and terrible isolation. I could feel my story being woven into it… But then, the tale arrived at Maria. I felt her presence, the way she giggled when I tickled her, or how she persuaded Gerald with that innocent look. I saw her laugh and cry, and run with me. Tears began flowing down my cheeks, but still the music played. I saw the jealous boy try to separate us, and his brutal father. I remembered the blaring sirens, the frantic soldiers…
The piano flew into a raging crescendo and then stopped abruptly. Silence, for the moment when I lost her forever. The simple notes of beginning became the tragic tones of ending. I took my hands from the keys and look at Sonic. He nodded, gravely. I could take no more.
I fell to the floor, sobbing and curling into the fetal position. It was so painful to remember, and I would never forget.
"WHY? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?" I screamed at the unyielding eternity that divided us. "WHY, MARIA? WHY?"
Arms descended and wrapped themselves around me. "She didn't leave. You saw and heard, plain as day, that she still lives right in your heart. You have to let her breathe, or she'll take your breath from you." It was the most poetic thing I had ever heard him say, and I knew it to be true. My weeping slowed, and finally I simply gasped for breath.
"You see, I really do know. And trust me, it's better to do that than to let it rip you apart inside."
I sat up, wiping my eyes. "Sonic, I… Thank you." It was all I could say.
"No prob." He winked. "I'll always be here, too, Shads. Promise."
That smile on his face spoke volumes to me. He really would be there if I needed it…
Even after he was dead and gone.
Fourteen centuries later
I sat in the rocky cliff, all that was left of Sonic's house. I had lived with him and his family, the Team, for his remaining days. I helped them, in my secret way, as he had helped me, knowing I owed him a debt I could never repay. Even when that old piano finally broke, I merely went to my cave and sang for awhile. It took practice, and at first I could scare the birds out of trees, but then I learned. Sonic had taught me well.
When he was on his deathbed, he reminded me that he'd never really disappear. With that same cocky wink, he grinned and told me to keep listening, and keep letting them breathe. I remember smiling, knowing that I'd still love him. I held his hand as his body cooled,. I watched it descend into the crypt, and walked into the sunset. That had been the end of the second true friend I had. There was no others to match them, and never would be.
Much had happened between now and then, but one thing still remained.
Two things, actually.
Maria and Sonic.
I would never let them die.