Hi everyone. So, I used to be Disenchanted lotf, and I'm going through a name-changing…uh…shpeel, let's use that "word," so I decided to write a little one-shot explaining why I'm having these problems. Also, I'm going to start updating my stories more often, I swear!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN LORD OF THE FLIES. KAPEESH? GOOD.

"So, the author has been changing her pen name a lot recently," Jack said. Currently, the redhead and his dark henchman, Roger, were sitting under a tree. Yep. Creative. Little breeze passed through the island, making shade all the more inviting, especially after a long day of pig raping-I mean, hunting. Yeah. Hunting.

"Why do we care?" Roger questioned apathetically, casually sharpening his wooden spear with Jack's knife because sharing is caring.

"Well god, I was just trying to start a conversation with you. Jesus. Plus we gave her that birthday present, so I guess we should kind of care about what we call her if she's going to insert herself into fandoms on special occasions." Jack muttered.

"I mean, yeah, she generally changes her pen name a lot. What's it now?"

"Who knows?"

"She keeps changing her name because she's going through a Green Day thing!" Simon chirped. The other two jumped. "I'm Jesus, remember? I can be anywhere I want."

"Oh. Right. But why does she feel the compulsive need to change her pen name?"

"She can't decide what Green Day song she should reference, I guess,"

"I think her name should be JackMerridewIsWizard, but you know, that's just my opinion. Which is always right."

"She's referencing Peacemaker now."

"Yeah but didn't she change it to a 'The Last of the American Girls' song reference?"

"She'll probably just change it again. To another Green Day song, probably."

"Well, she just got a Tumblr!"

"Well, that's not what we're talking about, Simon."

"Yeah. You really shanked that one."

"Jack, don't say 'shanked' instead of 'fucked up.' It makes you sound like a giant douche. I mean, not that you aren't already a giant douche. Just don't make it worse."

"Aw…"

"Yeah. You'd better be ashamed."

"I guess we should acknowledge the fact that she's not really sad about My Chemical Romance splitting."

"Oh my god Simon nobody cares anymore."

"Hey! That's not very nice!"

"Your mum's arse isn't very nice!"

"Well, I'll just go and listen to Florence and the Machine in my safe haven!" Simon turned on his heel and stormed off.

"Anyways, the moral of the story is: you can't trust the system!"

"No. Stop. It's that the author will probably be changing her name a lot, but you'll know it's her if it's a Green Day song reference."

"Why do you always have to ruin my fun?"

"I'm just in a bad mood because she's been really forcing this whole Roger/Simon ship in her past stories."

"Yeah. She says she sincerely apologizes for being a bitch by trying to force the whole Roger/Simon pairing, and that she'll only reference it in one-shot that are focused on that pairing."

"This sounds really scripted."

"Well it is. Why doesn't she just put all this in the author's note at the end?"

"I don't actually know."

Yeah. So the main points, I'll be changing my pen name a lot, and also, I realize that shoving the Roger/Simon pairing down my readers' throats (mainly in my D&D stories, which I will update soon, I promise!) was immature and a bitch move, and I'm sorry. I'll stop doing it in stories that aren't Roger/Simon based.