Karkat was dead.

It wasn't that surprising of a notion. They'd messed up the timeline and it had ended poorly, his doomed companions slowly picking each other off one by one. He saw the missteps as clear as day: Vriska had stabbed Terezi instead of the other way around, Feferi had died caught in Eridan's blast, Nepeta strayed away from the vents and fought Gamzee first. It was not a painless one. Equius was much more lethal when he crossed paths with the clown, but the results were set in stone nevertheless.

Currently he was floating in one of the bubbles around the pocket of space he was residing in, far from his previous (tortured, resentful) teammates. He did not want to see the conflict between those three again, because he knew how the story would end. He had failed, after all.

Blood was a strange aspect. At first, he didn't understand the memories when they first came, sharp bursts of vision that made him black out the first time he saw one. Some were okay to deal with: they fell blurry in his thinkpan, like images of a camera that refused to focus. But there were also memories that came in solid, flashing shocks, so stark and blinding that it scared him. He could see them whenever he closed his eyes, hear their screams as clear as day, and the violent panic would strain his mind until he reached a breaking point. He wondered how the seers could handle it. And even though no one from his timeline was chasing him, Karkat was still running.

Once in a while, he sees bubbles run along spiderwebs of dreams, brushing the surface at times and spanning far across at others. He knows he cannot reach all of them no matter how hard he tries. Every timeline lays in spectrum before him, and they are beautiful. He can feel his veins pulse scarlet, and he snarls into the specks of light in the distance. He cannot save them. He will not ruin another set of lives again.

(And in the distance, one bubble slowly draws closer. Karkat does not notice.)

There were moments when he thinks too much, and he's scared. He's scared that he knows the memories of all his counterparts, knows how each of his past selves die, knows how his friends die in each and every timeline. He is suddenly hit with another dizzying spell, and he puts his hands to his head, struggling to stay conscious. This is how he repents, he thinks bitterly, digging his nails hard into his arms. He's curled up, floating in empty space and alone. His friends hate him, and he ran away from the problems he'd caused. His nails draw red, and he withdraws just as quickly before he breaks through the skin entirely.

His eyes snap open at the first gust of air.

He's being tugged. He has pulled too close to one of the bubbles, one that he does not recognize. Something warps as he reaches the surface, and he puts his hand to it with the notion of pushing off of it. However, he blinks, and suddenly the bubble is gone.

He is buffeted by wind, hair billowing behind him, and pure adrenaline spikes to the point that he's gasping. He is hurtling downward, he cannot see through the clouds yet, but he knows how this is going to end. He can't fly. He pulls his arms up and braces himself for impact.

He collides hard. He rolls with the movement of his body to the best of his abilities, but he still grits his teeth as his legs scream with the rough landing. His hands are still pulled up to protect his face, curled around him so he gets the least damage possible to his head and the more important parts of his body, but it's only when he comes to a complete stop that he puts them down. And underneath him, staring back up at Karkat as though he'd seen a ghost, Sollux gapes.

Karkat's breath leaves him at the half-formed thought that he'd just collided with his friend and quickly he scrambles off the other troll, falling back on his hands. "Sorry," he says quickly, and Sollux's brows rise higher. "I wasn't expecting that either." Sollux makes a strangled noise.

Karkat quickly becomes offended. Sure, some bubbles were meant for specific trolls who wanted privacy, and this was probably for a Sollux from yet another doomed timeline, but that didn't call for such levels of disgust. "Shut up, nookstain," he snapped, waving a hand. "I'll leave. Don't get your dumb-"

Sollux jumps him.

Karkat definitely does not make a high-pitched shriek of surprise, and when he looks back up Sollux is laughing. Furious now, he tries to shove the troll off him but he is caged in by two unassuming hands. Instantly he prickles, ready to launch a spout of garbage that Sollux almost seems ready for, but as he looks up he can see Sollux's glasses fall askew. Karkat's eyes narrow, then widen in realization. His eyes are-

"You're not dead."

"I could say the same to you," Sollux replies, but Karkat is now bristling in panic. He pushes Sollux off, the other falling with an "oof," and he is ten paces back before either of them say anything. Something trickles down the side of his face. He pales as a cold chill runs through him.

Blood.

Instantly Karkat bolts, but Sollux quickly gets up and pulls him back with psionic power. He is pulled off the ground and he covers his eyes with his sleeves, turning away so Sollux would not see. "Get the fuck away from me!"

Sollux steps around so he can be in front of Karkat, hands up in a placating gesture. Karkat bared his teeth, hissing dangerously. "Hey, hey, it's fine," he speaks before Karkat can punch him. "We've all seen your blood already, KK. Cut it out and let me look at it."

Karkat contemplates him. Sollux seems to have realized the insinuation of a moirail's shooshing because his hands are lowered again, watching for his response.

"-It's red," he manages to say aloud, his mouth curling downward. "I'm a fucking mutant."

"I know," Sollux replies, quiet. Karkat's body stiffens at the remark, but slowly he puts his hands down and cranes his head forward.

"...It's only a cut," he says after taking a closer look. He's relieved, Karkat can tell as he jerks back. Sollux puts him back down and starts to pull him away towards what Karkat now sees as his hive. "I have some stuff to patch that up. Come on."

He's shoved into an ablution block and the door is slammed shut. He's left alone for the time being. Slowly, he turns to see his reflection, and he is completely dumbstruck.

Dirt is caked along the side of his face. The blood's already clotted, but it is just above his brow, a thin line that should heal properly and without much trouble. Head wounds only look bad most of the time. But he's staring at his eyes, grey and unassuming, and he knows that he's not dead anymore. He wobbles a bit at the realization, putting a hand to where he'd been stabbed before he died. He feels numb in the thinkpan, and for the first time in a long time he hears complete silence. At once, he turns the water on and dunks his head under.

He was staring at the far end of the ablution trap with his hair dripping for so long that he didn't hear the door open again. Sollux just takes a towel and threw it over his horns. "Jeez, don't drip all over the floor. You're not a wriggler."

"Fuck you" is his dim response. Sollux half turns his head, his brow furrowed, but he refrains from making a retort and continues to lead him to who knows where.

The meal block was bigger than he'd expected. Then again, his entire hivestem was huge. Karkat lived in a several-story hive meant for lowbloods and cheap wrigglers who needed a place without the drones catching them. Sollux sits him down.

"So are you gonna say something or what?" He asks, and Karkat looks up sharply.

"You go first," he challenged. Sollux laughs again, bright and carefree, and Karkat is nearly taken aback by how happy it sounds.

"I'm glad you're alive, dipshit," he smiles, and then he begins.

Whatever Karkat had assumed flies straight out the window as Sollux explains. Firstly, the bubble he assumed he'd fallen into isn't even a bubble: it's a fucking planet. A damn hugeass planet that he recognizes later as Alternia, the planet that exploded later in the game, which means that he's either hit his head a bit too hard or he's actually somehow fallen into an alternate universe. He would have interrupted had this been a normal occurrence, but Karkat is patient and he listens.

The second thing he immediately finds wrong (based on Sollux's long-winded explanation, thank the gods) is that the Karkat in this timeline died as well. Karkat puts a hand to his bloodpusher and presses his lips together in a sign of contemplation. He has seen a couple of visions where he dies early, and they're all for stupid reasons. The rest of the trolls are alive, Sollux continues, and the other Karkat had not responded to any of their messages when his husktop exploded ("well, of course", he might have snarked in reply, but this time he kept his mouth shut). Sollux was relieved when he'd bowled right into him, but he'd nearly gotten a seizure when Karkat literally fell out of the sky and barreled into him without warning. His back had been turned; otherwise, he would've slowed the descent, Sollux added a bit sheepishly. Karkat shrugs.

Everything else seems to have gone according to plan. The trolls managed to get into the game as per Karkat's orders before death, but they could not find his remains in the rubble. Sollux had his leader role returned, and they were beginning to climb the echeladders. He finishes the story there, waiting for Karkat to process the information.

His other's dream self was probably dead, Karkat reasoned with a start. If his body was gone and he'd come after the trolls had finished messaging each other about the order of how they each entered the game, then his dream self would have reflected the wounds of the real body.

The sent his head spinning. He had died first, the useless leader who refused to listen to Sollux's warnings. Had he even entered the game? Did anyone even notice he was gone for a while? Was the explosion how they saw this blood?

And then suddenly he was gasping on the floor, hands to his head as his mind felt like it was being torn apart from the inside out. Sollux was up as well, shouting something, but it sounded distant, as if he were trying to listen underwater. He saw a vision-

-the explosion was too fast, too quick for him to react. It blew him up first, then the hive, and the entire hive shook as his lusus screamed in agony. He could not even move. The last thing ever felt was the flash of color and the sensation of prickling fear, and Karkat was-

A nutrition plateau shatters loudly beside him, splintering into sharp jagged pieces, and Karkat snaps back to reality. He breathes hard, trying not to move. Sollux was gone.

He fought for strength in his arms as he pushed himself into a sitting position. Exhaustion clung to him, and he had half an urge to just lie down and sleep. How much time had passed? He could never tell any correlation between how long his memories lasted, they were always so different. He listened closely for any sound of footsteps, but Sollux didn't seem to be anywhere in his vicinity. Hunger clawed at him, but he ignored the nutrition block and decided to get up so he could wander around in an effort to find him.

He nearly shrieks when the door slams open. Nepeta pounces, tackling him in a wide hug so tight that he can hear his bones crack. He yelps.

"...You're alive," she whispers in awe. "You're alive. Thank god." She nuzzles her face into his sweater, and her shoulders start to shake. They both know she's crying when she starts to sniffle, and he reaches up, unsure whether to console her or to gently push her off.

"I'm too fucking important to die, knowing all the shit you guys end up in," he says instead. She curls up tighter at his words and chokes out a laugh.

Gamzee is next. Karkat stiffens as soon as he sees the troll show up at the doorway, and he remembers mutinous blood running through his veins. Gamzee stalks toward him, and all he can see are red-tinged eyes and a manic grin as his blood-stained hands wield terrifying clubs, covered to the handles with-

He literally crashes into Karkat, and they're all tumbling to the floor once again. Nepeta manages to jump out of the way. Two long arms loop around him as they fall, cradling him from any damage. "Holy shit, Gamzee, what the fuck," he yells.

Gamzee is strangely silent. "Missed you," he mumbles softly into Karkat's hair, and he hugs even tighter than Nepeta did. Karkat pats his back quickly to tell that he needs air, and Gamzee eventually loosens a bit so he can breathe. Karkat's bloodpusher jumps to his throat at how tightly he clung, as if Karkat would be gone if he let go again. He patted Gamzee's head a bit, feeling a bit awkward as Nepeta watches a little too eagerly.

"You live so fucking far away from here." Based on how high Alternia's moons were, it couldn't have been long since he'd arrived. Seriously, how long had he been passed out?

"It's been an hour, dipshit," Sollux says. He walks back in, mug in hand and a spare husktop under his free arm. He sets both down. "Get ready, everyone's coming over."

"Wait, what do you-"

Terezi rushes in. In her haste, she smacks Gamzee away with her cane before diving into yet another bone-breaking hug. Karkat needs to place a restraining order soon. "I knew you weren't dead!" She crowed, clapping him on the back a bit too hard. "What's this?" She gasps, leaning closer. Karkat remembers the cut above his brow and curses. "I smell-"

Karkat sticks his hand in her mouth before she says anything else. She chomps down and he yells, withdrawing drool-covered appendages and wiping them on her shirt. "Terezi, you nooksniffing assmuncher!" She cackles in glee.

The next couple of hours reveal the same scenario. Various other trolls arrive: Aradia is next, followed by Equius and Vriska. Kanaya comes later, carrying an embarrassed Tavros. They each stare at him as if he's been gone for centuries rather than a week (maybe two?) and he averts his gaze, unsure of what to say. For the first time since he's arrived, he feels overwhelmed. He knows they're the same people, but he's seen each of these trolls die.

"Well, this is a party," Vriska drawls after Feferi and Eridan come in. The trolls crowd around in Sollux's apartment, perched on the edges of various lounge planks and other forms of furniture. "You're alive. Whoop-dee-do."

"And I'll be taking back my role as leader," Karkat snaps. Sollux waves a hand in confirmation. "Fuck you all. I come back from the dead and you're not even in the fucking game."

"Well, we were down one membe-"

"Shut the fuck up, that isn't my fault!"

Gamzee was staring at him with such affection that he felt something in his stomach turn to ash. His gaze averted. "...So," he mumbles, pulling his knees up and scowling darkly. "Yeah, my hive's blasted up. I'm gonna have to play somewhere else."

"Stay here," Sollux instantly says. Gamzee stands up as if to say otherwise. "It's a long way back, Gamzee. Pick him up later, he's had a long night."

"Aw, motherfucker, you can't be serious," he replies. "A brother's all up and waitin' for his best friend. Can't I just carry him?"

"My vertical sticks are fine, thank you," Karkat protests, but now the trolls were squabbling for order. He decides to close his eyes and lets their chaos sink in, feeling the slightest sense of relief. He's not alone anymore, at least.

It's going to be a long day.

j bsibBDCB I'm in love with Homestuck and I'm making as much fanart and fanfiction as I can after 5 years of sitting on my ass doing nothing. I think I sorta lost steam because hey an idea! and so this happened. I'll try and continue it, but I know I usually bounce around writing new stories so just a heads up!

Thanks for reading!