Eomer Dances on the Battlefield
By Cornflower and her Mother
Eomer was in battle. He bellowed his battle cries and swung his sword like a madman. Suddenly, he felt like dancing. He dropped his sword and began swinging his hips groovily and waved his hands in the air. "WAVE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE!" he screamed.
His comrades stopped and gawked at him. One of then cried out "WAKE UP, MAN! We are at war! Stop being such a dancing queen!"
But Eomer didn't stop. "I was BORN to dance!" he proclaimed loud and proud. "Ooh-OOH! Ooh-OOH!" The guy who yelled at him for being a dancing queen facepalmed dramatically. "To battle all! We'll leave the drama Princess here! Let's GOOOOO!"
Eomer danced like no-one was watching, laughed like there was no tomorrow, and felt the soft rain on his face like nobody's business.
Then he was thwacked in the head with a football.
"Take that tight disco pantsuit off! It looks RIDICULOUS, Man!"
"Hey, I thought you all went off to battle somewhere else, Krogan."
"Whatever, you fat dancing walrus!" said Krogan before running off. But Eomer wasn't going to let Krogan's rude remarks spoil his sunshine. Oh, no, he wasn't! He was just going to shake it off. "'CAUSE HATERS GONNA HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE! FAKERS GONNA FAKE, FAKE, FAKE, FAKE, FAKE! I'M JUST GONNA SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE! SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!" he bellowed for all to hear, shaking furiously.
And he danced his sweet life away.
"WHAT! I ought to…" Krogan turned red, then purple, then… he began to… SHAKE HIS BOOTY! "Krogan! Don't! You look UGLY!" cried his comrades. They shielded their haggard war faces. Krogan shook his booty.
"I'm staying here with Princess!" he bellowed a roaring, happy, gurgling laugh. "High five, brother!" exclaimed Eomer. They high-fived, fist-bumped, and even hip-bumped, then began a watusi hand in hand. And so, Eomer (AKA Princess) and Krogan danced and danced and danced the day away. And when the opposing army saw how ugly they looked shaking their booties, they fled in terror and the army of Rohan was victorious in battle. Score for the Rohirrim! Woohoo!
Fin