A/N: Some of you might have read this before so if it seems a little familiar that's why. I posted the first chapter back in July but I took it down to do some editing. I'm going to try to update normally but try to bear with me. Anyway hope you enjoy.
I stared at Tyler in disbelief. He was wrong; he had to be. Cassie couldn't be dead. She was fine twelve hours ago, she was fine now.
"I'm sorry Mira," he whispered as he backed away from me and towards the door. He backed away like I had some kind of infectious disease. Like if he stayed near me for too long he'd be the next one in the coroner's office. Some friend.
I slowly bent over and picked my phone off the ground by my feet. For some reason I didn't call Cassie. Maybe I already knew she wouldn't pick up. Instead I called Avery. She lived across the street from Cassie. If anything had happened she would have seen the ambulance.
She picked up on the first ring like she was waiting for me to call. "Mira, I'm so sorry," she said quietly. "It was an overdose. Her parents found her a little over two hours ago."
I didn't say anything. How was I supposed too? My entire world had shattered into a billion little pieces and nothing I could do would piece it back together again.
Cassie Hall was dead.
"Do you need me to come over?"
I licked my lips trying to get them wet enough to form words. "No. I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?
No, I really needed a friend right now. "Yeah, I'm sure. Bye Avery." I hung up the phone and collapsed onto my bed.
Dead. Cassie Hall was dead.
{xXx}
I stared at the iPod in front of me. More specifically at the newest playlist on Cassie's iPod. Mira's playlist.
I shouldn't have surprised me that she had made a playlist for me but at the same time it did. She cared that much for me just three days before she died. I opened the file and scrolled through the songs. They were just all the songs that we both loved but it meant a lot to me.
At the bottom the bottom of the playlist was another folder simply titled Diary. That made me stop. I never knew that Cassie kept a diary. In the twelve years we knew each other she never once mentioned anything about a diary. Never.
I made sure the headphones were hooked up and clicked on the first entry.
"May 18th 2009." Over one year before she killed herself. "I want to keep this record of myself. For Mira. And maybe for Kali, I honestly don't know." Why would she keep a diary for Kali?
"Today was the big birthday party during lunch. Pizza. And cake. And non-diet soda. And all of our friends gathered around one of the tables in the courtyard. It was hard, it was so hard, to force myself to eat two slices of pizza. And to eat a slice of cake. And to have a glass of non-diet soda.
"But I did it. And I tried so hard not to throw it up afterwards. But I couldn't do that. Even for Mira.
"Mira. She doesn't know and I don't want her to. I wonder how she would react if she knew that I starve myself just to be perfect for Kali. For her little sister. She'd probably kill me."
I stared at the iPod in my hands. She was in love with my little sister. Kali was the reason that she starved herself. Kali was the reason she cut herself. And Kali was probably the reason she was dead.
Cassie was in love with my little sister.
I hugged my knees to my chest and gazed out the airplane window.
Cassie was in love with her.
I wonder what the man sitting next to me was thinking. Did he know that I was listening to my dead best friend's voice as she told me about her screwed up love life from beyond the grave? What was he thinking about as my shattered world broke into even smaller pieces?
What were my parents thinking about as their eldest daughter flew to Miami to attend a sea school because they didn't know how to deal with her? Were they thinking about me at all? What was Kali thinking? Did she have any idea the Cassie might be dead because of her? What was Brent, the over protective big brother thinking? What were all my friends thinking? Were they glad that their best friend hadn't died? Were they glad that their parents didn't send them away as an alternative to therapy?
I think I'm going to be sick.
Cassie was in love with Kali.
And I never figured it out.
A/N: Not all of the chapters will be this dramatic, but it had to get started somewhere. Tell me what you think and since I'm just going back and editing, the next chapter will probably be up later today.