This was a fantastic night to break in the new hells... excuse me... heels, Rachel thought as she fumbled into her apartment. She kicked off her footwear and watched them skid across the carpet of her living room on to the linoleum of her kitchen. She imagined them hitting the wall with a gargantuan force, causing a small earthquake and a perfectly round, gaping hole to crystallize. It would be a nice touch to her organized lifestyle.
Ha! What lifestyle? What life?
Rachel's work was her life, and that was that. Her work that had almost gotten her killed that night - more so than any other night.
Rachel breathed deeply and shook herself, hoping to release her demons. She didn't want to think about it anymore. She hated anything to weigh her down.
Including men.
In fact, personal relationships were at the bottom of her list of priorities. Although, she did enjoy a good fuck every once in awhile. Those were always marvelous for the stress and the nerves.
That was the only true reason she kept Harvey.
Rachel sighed and began stripping, taking great care of her dress, though it ostensibly shouldn't and didn't matter. In her mind, it was ruined beyond repair. Nevertheless, she handled her ensemble as if it were precious china. She smoothed her fingers over the soft, silky fabric - the fabric of her ocean. Calm and peaceful. Blue and serene.
It drowned her.
Rachel stood, naked and alone in the middle of the living room. She closed her eyes and let herself unwind. A barely noticeable current of air struck her body and vanished. That was enough for her to be carried, with loving arms, into her certainty.
She was a goddess. A vain and powerful goddess, deemed weak by the ignorant. She devoured everything she touched. She was Death. Her skeletal frame made diamonds shatter; unyielding exteriors crumbled beneath her thumbnail.
But she was trapped.
Rachel opened her eyes and smiled. She glanced down at her destructive frame, glowing. She ran a hand over her left breast and felt her nipple harden. Goosebumps sprang up like tiny erections over her skin. The fine hairs of her arms were long and copious. She slowly bent her head and licked her right arm as if she were a cat. Salty embers hit her taste buds.
Such love she felt for her authenticity.
Before making her way to the bathroom, Rachel took her dress and simply ripped it. She tore it apart; tore it to shreds; tore into its entity. Memories from a couple of hours ago flashed through her mind. This time, she couldn't control her thoughts. She saw that white face. She saw that knife. She felt the cool blade across her inflamed cheek. She remembered hatred - jealousy confused with hatred. But she also remembered admiration and longing. She wanted to be that brave. She wanted to show her true colors. She needed to.
She had been buried beneath her pleasant façade. She had thought, for so long, that she was right in not letting go. Seeing Him in person made her realize how lost she was. Alone, she was fine. Showing the world what she was should have come first.
A low, reverberating laugh escaped Rachel's throat. She stared at the pieces of the dress that had cost her so much money. Pretentious money.
Wiping the (happy) tears from her eyes, Rachel casually walked toward the bathroom, taking pride with each step, leaving her old self behind. The fibers from the carpet were burned by her and the sleek tiles of the bathroom were stained by her blood and dirt. Blisters and cuts.
She left the light off.
Rachel drew her bath water and filled the tub to the brim. She cautiously slipped in, sloshing water over the sides. She stared at the winding ceiling. Hot liquid surrounded her. She was a mermaid.
Locking herself away from myth, Rachel shut her eyes. Her scales were as perfect as He was. More so.
Rachel fell in.
And she was free.
Inspired by the song Flow (of Impermanence) by Android Lust.