Xena and Gabrielle were sitting at the fireplace. Everything seemed so calm and peaceful.
Xena was sharpening her sword with a rock she'd found, while Gabrielle was writing a poem about their latest adventures. Xena looked over at Gabrielle. There was this peace over her, which she'd truly loved. She was just so… so… sweet and innocent, and yet she seemed so wise and smart with a lion's heart beating inside of her. She was so brave and of pure goodness. Something so rare yet so amazing, that Xena had to see more. She had to know more about this girl. And she did. And for everyday she got to know the girl better, it seemed that her feelings for her became stronger and stronger.
She did not only have an attractive personality, but she was also very beautiful, with her bright, shining, green eyes, clear like a pair of emerald crystals, her long, soft red-golden locks of hair falling perfectly down and framing her flawless face and her round cheeks of youth and her full light pink lips. She couldn't take her eyes off of those lips. All she wanted was to claim them, to make Gabrielle hers forever, but that could never be. She was certain Gabrielle didn't feel the same way for her. But did it really matter? Xena knew that their friendship was a blessing from the Gods themselves. She couldn't risk losing that.
Sitting there, thinking at the fireplace, Xena realized that she had stopped her clinching movements. Instead, she was now watching carefully as the shadows from the fire played on the bards beautiful features.
"Gabrielle."
Slowly the bard raised her face to meet piercing blue eyes.
"What is it?" she quietly asked.
"It's getting really late. I was thinking about going to sleep before our trip tomorrow," she said, yawning in her head already.
"You go ahead Xena. I'll just finish this piece first."
Gabrielle looked back at her scroll, unchanged.
"Alright," Xena said, getting up from where she was sitting. She was hoping that Gabrielle would join her, but it probably would be some time, knowing her friends love for writing. Xena and Gabrielle usually slept by each other at night. It was more comforting and they could lay down watching the stars and talking together almost all night. And when the nights were getting cold, Xena would take the small blonde into her arms and keep her warm.
After Xena had prepared the bedrolls, she took off her armor leaving only the leather suit on to cover her body. She slowly laid down and looked up at the sky. She liked the evenings when she and Gabrielle would just lay there, finding pictures amongst the stars and trying to make something out of them. Quietly Xena closed her eyes in an attempt to fall asleep, but she soon realized that she couldn't. Gabrielle needed to be safely at her side, before she could rest properly. Luckily for Xena, it didn't last long before Gabrielle lay her scroll down and prepared for bed herself.
When Gabrielle laid down next to Xena, she rolled her head to look at Xena, and Xena did the same thing, chuckling lightly as their eyes met. She loved this. Even though Gabrielle may never be hers, she enjoyed just having her around. It made her feel like everything was possible.
"Hi," Gabrielle lightly said almost in a whisper.
"Hi, yourself," Xena smiled as she answered.
They lay in silence for a time just looking at the starry night sky. Gabrielle enjoyed this. She looked over at Xena, observing her while she was looking up. She wondered what was on her mind. She thought she looked so peaceful and pretty with her calm beautiful face framed by silky long black hair, and her icy blue eyes bright like crystal. She smelled like leather and just like…Xena, but she loved that smell. She wanted to just duck her head into the soft hair and feel Xena's arms wrapped around her, keeping her safe. Gabrielle caught herself looking down at Xena's lips. They were a bit dark, brownish almost, but only lightly, matching perfectly with the color of her soft skin. All she wanted was to claim those lips as hers, but she was too afraid. What would Xena say if she knew how Gabrielle felt? She couldn't risk losing her best friend like this, but maybe it was time to do something.
"See here, Gabrielle?" Xena pointed up in the sky. "It looks like a cup," she smiled softly.
"I think it looks more like a flower," Gabrielle chuckled.
"A flower? Where do you see that?"
Gabrielle pointed up in the sky. "Yeah, like a daisy. There are the leaves and the stalk. Don't you see?"
Xena rolled her head to look at Gabrielle with a big question mark on her face, looking at her like she was crazy.
"Cheer up Xena. It suits you much better with a smile on your face." Gabrielle stretched her hands out, pulling the corners of Xena's mouth up. She couldn't help but to laugh at the funny sight in front of her.
Soon after, Xena removed Gabrielle's hands. She clearly didn't find it as amusing as her friend did, but it didn't last very long before Gabrielle had to try again to puzzle around with Xena's face. She was just looking so sweet and adorable; Gabrielle couldn't keep her hands to herself.
"Are you done playing with my face?" Xena said in an almost harsh tone. Gabrielle couldn't stop laughing though. After some time Xena just laid her head back, and started laughing with her. She slowly moved closer to Gabrielle so they were lying skin to skin laughing up in the sky over nothing really.
"You really enjoy messing with me?" Xena asked in fun.
"Normally you're usually very serious, so I think it's important to have some fun once in a while. You know, joking, laughing, playing in grass, stuff like that, and you just look so adorable and fun when I mess around with your face, nothing better to get me to cheer a bit up," Gabrielle answered in a calm voice.
Xena turned on her side to look at Gabrielle.
"I can be fun!" Xena said, but Gabrielle didn't buy it. "Alright. What about this: I close my eyes and then I'll give you 30 seconds to play as much as you want with my face. You can do whatever you want, I thrust you." Xena giggled lightly. Even though she wasn't very happy to be used like this, it made Gabrielle laugh, and her beautiful laughter was all Xena wanted to hear right now.
"Okay…" Gabrielle said, giggling softly. Was that a slight blush, Xena saw on her cheeks? "Close your eyes."
Xena slowly closed her eyes. She felt Gabrielle's warm hands on her right cheek, trying to figure out what would look most funny.
Gabrielle looked closely at Xena's face. She was so beautiful. Her skin seemed to incredible soft. Momentarily forgetting her original task, she led her fingers trace her chinbone and lifting her face, she studied it for a second. It seemed completely flawless. Her hands everywhere on Xena's face, she tried to find the thing that would look most funny, but she couldn't concentrate very long at the time. Xena was just too…too beautiful, so strong and mature, but still seemed so feminine and soft. Without thinking, Gabrielle slowly moved closer to her face. Xena felt the warmth of Gabrielle's breath on her face, but didn't protest. Gabrielle made the last way pretty quickly, touching Xena's lips lightly with her own. Soon she pressed even closer, sneaking one of her hands into the long black raven hair. Unfortunately it didn't last very long before Gabrielle realized what she had done.
As quickly as possible, she rose from the bedroll, running into the forest, crying lightly. Why did she kiss her? What had she done? What if Xena never wanted to speak to her again? What if she lost her best friend forever? What should she do? Maybe Lila, her sister would help her. Yes, that was what she should do. Go home again. But how would she do that without being seen by Xena? Dear Gods, this was horrible!
At the same time, a very confused Xena was sitting left behind at the camp. 'What just happened?' she thought. She kissed me! Xena took her hand up to her lips, where Gabrielle had kissed her. She was blushing uncontrollable. The big, bad Xena, the Warrior Princess, was actually blushing like a little girl, fallen in love for the first time. This has never happened before in her whole life. Wow…
After a minute or so, Xena decided to go after Gabrielle. She was afraid she might already have moved, and Xena knew she was the fastest. She had to get to the bottom of this mess. Maybe it was just an honest mistake, and Gabrielle felt embarrassed about the accident. 'Yeah, that was probably it,' Xena thought as she moved into the woods. She had to find Gabrielle.
Xena ran as fast as she could, but not for away, she spotted Gabrielle near the riverside. Her face was hidden in her hands, and it looked like she was sobbing. She was whispering something to herself. Xena could barely make out the words through her hands, even with her great hearing.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" the words sounded. "How could you? She'll hate me forever! I have to get away… Maybe Lila will take me? Stupid!"
Throwing her hands down with the last word, she spotted something in the bushes, or rather someone. And as soon as Gabrielle realized it was Xena, she started to step back. First very slowly, but soon she started running. Xena was quicker and she jumped high, rolling in the air, ending right in front of Gabrielle, blocking her way.
"Don't, Xena," she said.
Her voice was deep and filled with sorrow. It cut like a knife through Xena's heart. Couldn't she see how much she loved her? Couldn't she see that she had done nothing more? It was Xena that was the coward for not doing anything about her attraction to the blonde any sooner. She couldn't let this chance skip. Not this time, no, it was time to step up. So when Gabrielle still tried to escape, Xena grabbed her arms and held her tight, so she couldn't get away. Xena was still the strongest of them.
"NO! NO! Let me go! XENA! Let me go!" But it didn't matter how hard Gabrielle shouted, Xena was not to rock with.
Slowly, careful to keep the wrenching blonde still, Xena wrapped her arms around Gabrielle, holding her as tight to her body as possible.
"Sshh…" Xena tried to calm her down, kissing her on the top of her head.
"Calm down, it's alright. It's alright. You know I love you no matter what, right? Sshh…"
"I- I-, Xe-…" Gabrielle, still lightly struggling, couldn't seem to find her words anymore. "But I… I kissed you!"
Gabrielle almost shouted to make her point. By now she had stopped fighting back and was crying in Xena's arms.
"I kissed you… I'm so sorry Xena. Forgive me. Please don't hate. Please don't leave." The bard didn't know what to say anymore. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to… I should never have done it. I'm so sorry."
Xena smiled lightly. She was so silly sometimes. Of course she could forgive her. She could never hate her. They were soul mates.
"Hey, calm down. It's okay. I could never hate you, you know that? No matter what you did. I'm begging you not to leave. Please, stay with me Gabrielle. Don't fight me."
Xena's word seemed to hit her right, for Gabrielle slowly stopped crying and relaxed in Xena's strong and comforting arms.
"I'm sorry Xena," she sobbed. "I promise not to ever do that again. I love you. I would never hurt you. I promise not to ever hurt you like this again…"
Xena stood paralyzed. Hurt her? Gabrielle had never done anything to hurt her! That was absurd! Xena took grip of Gabrielle's arms ones more, as she stepped a bit back to look the bard in the eyes.
"Hurt me? Where did you get that stupid idea from? You could never hurt me! You're the best thing that ever happened to me! Do you think that kissing me would hurt me? How?"
"It doesn't matter anymore Xena. I regret kissing you. I shouldn't have done it." Gabrielle stepped back from Xena's grip and turning around. She slowly started walking away, back to the woods.
"Why?"
Hearing Xena's voice call out, she turned around again in confusion.
"Excuse me?"
"Why did you kiss me in the first place?"
Gabrielle, taking one hand up to her forehead, started moving back to the warrior. She was already all in, so why not just finish it properly?
"Do you really want to know why?"
"Yes!"
"Okay." Gabrielle slowly moved closer, deciding that maybe this was it, the final chance to show her feelings, her true colors. "I watch you. I watch your every move. At night when you're asleep I roll over so can admire your beauty, your chest slowly rising and falling. You look so relaxed and stunning. The moon plays the most wonderful games on your body. I watch you in battle. I know the rough side of you. I know all sides of you, and the more I watch, the more fascinated I become. You're so smart, in both heart and mind. You're so creative, and you put your heart in every single mission. That's some of the things I love about you." Gabrielle moved a bit closer. "But then I see you trying to seduce someone to help us with the plan, and my heart stops beating. My face flushes with the strangest feeling, my stomach starts to crumble. It feels like someone is pulling a knife through my heart. Even though I never had you, it felt like losing. I watch you. I can't take my eyes off of you. You're the most beautiful woman to me. You seem so soft, but yet so rough. Your body is formed by the Gods, long beautiful legs, so feminine but with a touch of something a bit more masculine in a way. And you're eyes, shiny as diamonds, piercing, looking right through my very soul with the most beautiful icy blue color in the world."
Gabrielle put her hand up to Xena's cheek. Closing her eyes, Xena lent into the touch, a smile playing on her mouth.
"I love your lips. I love to watch you smile. It gives me this feeling of happiness and tells me that no matter what, everything will be alright because I have you, Xena. I've been dreaming about those lips. Wondering what it would be like to feel them on me, a burning desire to claim them. I don't only love you; I'm in love with you." Gabrielle stepped back.
"Then why regret?" Xena asked, opening her eyes slowly.
"Because," she couldn't help but to blush, "I knew you could never feel the same way for me…" Gabrielle chuckled lightly ones to ease the mood.
"That's ridiculous! You couldn't possibly know what!"
Xena tried to move closer, but stepping back, Gabrielle raised her hands to tell Xena to stop. "Don't."
"I love you Gabrielle. Let me love you… Let me love you the way we both want to." Gabrielle quickly looked up, stopping her movements. "You're the most amazing woman ever to walk the earth. I wish you could see that. You're so smart and pure hearted, and you're so beautiful." Xena took one of Gabrielle's locks of hair in her hand. "I'm in love with you," she whispered, before closing the distance between them and pressing her lips against Gabrielle's. At first it was soft, lips barely touching, afraid of the new contact. But after a short time, Xena moved even closer, pressing her lips firmly against Gabrielle's, sending shivers through her spine. This was way better than any dream. A soft moan escaped from Gabrielle's mouth, giving Xena the opportunity to deepen the kiss even more, and she didn't flinch before taking it, holding Gabrielle closely.
As tongues passionately danced with one another, Xena placed her hand on Gabrielle's toned stomach, tracing the line upward to her chest. Things were getting hotter and Gabrielle's heart started to beat like crazy. She blushed from head to toe, unable to move. She let Xena kiss her, hold her and touch her, but she was afraid. She had never been with a woman, and only once with a man, and was afraid it was all moving too fast for her.
Xena's second hand went to Gabrielle's back, fumbling with the leashes on her shirt. Gabrielle placed her hand on Xena's cheek, kissing her with all her will, not wanting to disappoint her.
Xena, poisoned by the passion, took Gabrielle and moved her to the woods, back to the fireplace. When they arrived at the bedrolls, Xena swiftly removed her breastplate and the rest of her armor, before laying Gabrielle down so she was on top. Xena couldn't help but to smile. Gabrielle looked so beautiful, hair lightly ruffled, shirt almost gone, blushing like crazy. She took her hand and removed a strand of hair away from her Gabrielle's face, before lightly kissing her lips. Xena's lips moved to her neck and kept on going further down, until she heard something that made her stop. It was Gabrielle. It sounded like she was sobbing lightly.
Xena removed herself from the blonde's neck and looked down at her. Her hand was covering her eyes, trying hard not to tear up. She couldn't do it. It was all too much for one time, but she didn't want to let Xena down. She wanted it just as much as her, it was just too soon.
"Gabrielle. What's wrong? I- … I didn't hurt you, did I?" Xena's voice was filled with concern. She was starting to get a bit frightened by this.
"No… No, Xena. You could never hurt me… Just… Continue…" Gabrielle's voice was shaky, her heart beating faster than ever before. She would almost swear that Xena could hear it.
"No!" Xena chuckled lightly. She placed a ghost-like kiss on the corner of Gabrielle's mouth, before removing the hand that covered her eyes.
"Of course I'm not going to continue." Xena laid down behind Gabrielle, snaking her arms around the little bard, holding her as tight to her body as possible. "What's wrong Gabrielle?" Her eyes were filled with concern.
Gabrielle twisted in her arms, turning to look the warrior in the eyes. Before Xena could say anything, Gabrielle pressed her lips against Xena's, kissing her once more. Slowly, not losing the lip contact, she took Xena's hand in hers and moved it to her chest, to let her feel her heart beating. Xena broke the kiss, looking down at her hand to Gabrielle's heart. She couldn't help but to blush, feeling a lump in the throat. Gabrielle's heart was really beating fast, but then again, she herself hadn't either been this nervous in quite some time. Xena looked up, locking eyes with Gabrielle.
"I'm so scared… This is all so new to me. I don't even know what to do. I'm so sorry… I really wanted to do this with you, but it's all moving too fast for me… I'm so sorry…" Gabrielle looked down, disappointed in herself.
Xena simply laughed and placed a soft kiss on Gabrielle's forehead. It sent a shiver down the blonde's spine.
"Don't apologize. I don't want to do this if you're not ready. I'll wait till the end of time if that's what you need." Xena smiled, and kissed her on the eyelid. "You're right. I was moving a bit too fast, I'm sorry. Guess that's just what you do to me." Xena smiled hesitantly looking Gabrielle in the eyes, making her blush from the flatter. "Come on." Xena hugged her tightly before she let her go, looking up at the stars. "It's getting late. Why don't we get some rest?"
Gabrielle was happy about how easy Xena was taking this.
"Can I…" the bard didn't really know what to say. "Will you… Will you hold me, Xena? Just hold me tight tonight? I like sleeping in your arms…" She blushed at the request, looking into deep icy blue eyes.
Xena smiled happily before turning around and taking Gabrielle in her arms, letting her back rest on her chest. Gabrielle was right, this was way better than sleeping alone tonight.
Xena lifted her head and whispered huskily into Gabrielle's ear, "Your wish is my command," before she kissed her on the exposed skin of her neck.
Laying her head back down, it didn't last very long before both of them fell asleep to the sound of their steady heartbeats, beating for one another.