Author's Note: Okay, so I know that I have TWO unfinished Heroes stories to work on but, seriously, I've lost my inspiration. If it ever comes back then I will finish those. But, until then, I have this. I was a little late to the Glee party but now that I've arrived, I have TONS of ideas swimming around in my head. Puck refuses to leave me alone.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot. If I did I would not be wasting time writing fanfiction because I would be playing out my dirty fantasies with Puck tied to my bed. =)

BTW, Rachel had sex with Jesse in 'The Power of Madonna' and so he doesn't transfer to McKinley.

Rachel Berry was angry. Livid, even. It wasn't because Finn had lied to her—and, yes, she knew that he had had sex with Santana. Honestly, did he think that Santana wouldn't brag?—although, if there weren't more pressing matters to focus on then she would have taken serious issue with that. No, her current state of irrationality had nothing to do with the boy who had held her heart for months. It also wasn't because of the B she had gotten on her English paper, or the rude drawing from Quinn that she had found in her locker yesterday, or even the slushie facial she had received that morning from David Karofsky. It did, however, have everything to do with her boyfriend—ex-boyfriend, she reminded herself—and his harsh words to her the previous evening.

There were things that she wasn't good at. Sports, for instance, or cooking both fell into that category. She was okay with not being good at those things though because she had never truly attempted to be good at them. She was confident that if she wanted to be good at them, then she would be and that was because she was good at everything that she attempted. She had set her mind to being a performer when she was still a toddler and she had excelled at that. She had set her mind to having good, amazing, grades on her first day of preschool and she was in the top five percent of her class. So, when someone told Rachel Berry that she was bad at something, it did not sit well.

This was why she was furious. Sex with Jesse had been mediocre, at best. Not that she had anything to compare it to but she knew, she just knew, that sex was supposed to be better than what it had been with him. It wasn't enough to make her want to break up with him—even though I was only dating him because Finn dumped me—but he, however, had seemed to have other plans. Her fury only grew as she remembered his words.

I can't be with a girl who's bad in bed.

Rachel Berry was not bad at anything.

It was her free period, a time she normally spent practicing in the choir room for anything glee related. However, today was different because she could hear someone strumming a guitar through the door. This is just not my day. She knew it had to be either Artie or Puck since they were the only two in glee who could play the guitar but when she heard the first lines of some country song that she didn't know slip out of the player's mouth, she knew exactly who it was.

And a plan began to form in her mind.

Puck was exhausted. Like, literally. He wasn't complaining though. Yeah, shit had hit the fan when Berry opened her big mouth and told Finn about the baby but now that things had settled down it was cool. Finn was talking to him again and, yeah, he knew that they wouldn't ever be best friends again or anything, but at least they were on speaking terms. His badassness was off the fucking charts too. Quinn was living in his house until the baby was born since her parents had told her in no uncertain terms that there was no way she was going back to their house in that condition. It was great and all, and Quinn totally understood that he wanted to be there for her and his kid and that them dating was a shitty idea, but his mother wouldn't let her have bacon. And the girl craved fucking bacon.

Which was why he was exhausted. She had woken him up at three in the morning to go to the 24-hour diner to buy her bacon. Extra crispy. By the time he had gotten back to the house she was already back to sleep. He had tried to go back to sleep too but couldn't do it and just ended up tossing and turning for another two hours. She never did eat the bacon.

He had used his headache excuse for his second period math class and now during fifth period biology, he was just skipping. He would be outside on the bleachers but it was fucking raining. So instead he was in the choir room working on shit for glee. They had that dumbass Madonna assignment to do and he figured he should get it out of the way. So he had gotten his guitar out and found the tabs to 'Skin'. It was a pretty decent song but he was just not feeling this assignment.

So instead of working on it anymore he started to play 'Something Like That' by Tim McGraw. He wasn't really trying to make it any good since he was just fucking around. So he was a little surprised when Berry walked into the room singing praises to his musical ability.

"What do you want?" he questions suspiciously. He may be dumb but he's not a complete idiot. And Berry never praises anyone without critiquing them too.

"I can't simply compliment my teammate?" She returns innocently and now he knows something's up.

"Alright Berry, what the fuck is up with you?"

She rolls her eyes and shrugs. "I need your help."

"No. Whatever it is, no."

"You don't even know what I'm going to say."

"Every time you need help somebody ends up with a slushie in the face. I'm not up for it. Sorry." He says and then sees her start to pout. See, here's the thing, Puck doesn't like crying girls. And pouting can easily turn to crying. Which is why he says, "Fine Berry, what is it?"

She smiles brightly. "I need you to help me acquire excellent skills in bed."

He chokes on air. Skills in bed? What the fuck? "I'm sorry. Did you just say you want me to teach you how to have sex?" His voice is laced with disbelief and he's sure if he saw his face right now then his expression would also be full of it too.

"Yes. It's come to my attention that I'm bad in bed and Rachel Berry is not bad at anything." She's totally fucking serious.

"So you gave it up to that St. James kid?" He asks and can tell she's about to deny it. "And don't even try to say that you broke up with him for the team or whatever. I'm not an idiot."

She nods in agreement. "Yes. I had sex with Jesse and he told me that I was bad at it."

"And I thought I was a douche bag." He comments. "So you just want to learn how to fuck?"

She winces at his choice of words. "Well, I wouldn't put it so eloquently, but yes Noah. That is what I wish for you to teach me."

"And what do I get out of it?"

She rolls her eyes again. "Well, other than free sex that you don't have to work for, I happen to know that you are failing math. A by product of not going, I'm sure, but nevertheless, I will tutor you."

She had him at free sex. But the math shit was pretty cool too since it would get his mother off his back and he wouldn't feel like such a bad Jew all the time.

"Alright."

Author's Note: If it sucks completely, then please tell me.