-I was checking around for the In My Life stories, and apparently there are none. Oh well.
I don't own anything.
Lemon.
So this is what it feels like. Meeting a girl, going back to her place…falling in love. I always thought that those things were too far out of my reach, that people like me weren't meant to experience those things.
But here she is. Here she is, holding my hand, stroking my fingers until the pain goes away. The torture in my head is raging on, but her hand feels like a warm blanket, some gentle reminder that there's someone there to protect me. Someone there to make the pain disappear.
Pain-Lemon!
I'm happy. Yes, happy. The pain is insignificant. Irrelevant. Irrelevant because I choose it to be and when I choose it to be it becomes what I choose it because where does it exist but-
Lemon.
Times like this, when I feel that little glimmer of happiness-or even a hope for some sort of happiness-are when I miss my family the most. It's strange, I know. But those are the times that I wish my mother could see me. The times I wish I could share with Vera. My mother would take my hand and smile. She'd kiss my cheek and tell me how happy she was for me. Vera would giggle and tease me, then wrap her arms around my waist and tell me how great it was.
At least there's Jenny now. Her hand is so warm. I wish she'd never let go. I wish she'd never leave.
Lemon.
But she will. I'll become too much for her to handle and she'll leave.
Lemon!
No. Stop it. Everything is okay for right now. Leave it.
Until this.
No. This can't happen. It's too much. Not now, not when I've got something.
It hurts. It isn't the same pain as before. This is harsher, deeper, and it keeps digging. Why did I come into this world so broken? And why did the world decide that I needed to be shattered some more, for good measure?
No. It's not happening. It can't be. It's Insignificant. Irrelevant. This silly little mass in my head doesn't matter.
Music, Jenny, Life.
Things that matter.
Things that I love.
Things that I'm about to lose.
Lime.