It was a bright and sunny day, and Dave Strider wanted to go out. He decided to see if his friend John Egbert would be willing to go to the park with him. This was going to be his chance to sweep John off his feet and he knew exactly what to do. Oh god the irony of the whole idea was just killing him. Dave got out his phone and started to text john.

TG: yo john im bored

TG: wanna go out?

EB: hey dave. yea, i'll go out with you.

EB: wow i mean not like that

EB: that's not what you meant, right?

TG: oh god shut up egderp and meet me at the park

EB: okay!

Dave shook his head and started to message a certain troll.

TG: yo

CT: D - Hello human

TG: I need you to do something for me

CT: D - And what would this task be

TG: okay so i need you to do what i tell you

TG: got that?

CT: D - Are you giving me... orders

TG: um sure i guess

Next, Dave texted Terezi.

TG: yo tz

GC: H3LLO D4V3 WH4T 1S 1T

TG: i wanted to invite you over to the playground with me and john

GC: ... WHY WOULD 1 W4NT TO GO TH3R3 :?

TG: trust me and wear your little dragon cape

GC: 1 G3T TO W34R MY DR4GON C4P3 :D

GC: 1 W1LL B3 R1GHT TH3R3

After talking with Equius and Terezi, Dave put his phone in his pocket. He grabbed his shades and then headed out the door to see his best bro at the park. John left at about the same time as Dave, and they both met up at almost the same time.

"Hi Dave!"

"Sup."

John grabbed Dave's hand and pulled his over to the swings. They both loved the swings.

Swings were the shit.

They sat next to each other and John started swinging as high as he could, like always. Dave swung at normal height.

"So what have you been up to?"

"Oh nothing. Just failing miserably to beat my bro in a fight is all."

"Oh haha that sucks."

"Yup." Dave couldn't really think of anything to say right now because he was too focused on his plan to sweep the Egderp off his feet.

"Yo John."

"Yea?"

"Want to play a game?"

"Sure."

Dave got up and watched as John did a fucking flip off the swing.

"What the hell John how long have you been practicing that?"

"I don't know, a while? I love swings."

"Yes, I see. Anyway, we are going to play the best, most ironic game that ever happened on this playground. I'll be the brave knight and you will be the princess.

"And I will be the fire breathing dragon!" Said a voice from the slide. There Terezi was, sitting on the slide, dragon cape on, and a big fangy grin on her face. She slid down and strut over two the two.

"Oh hi Terezi!"

"Hehehe, let's start this game, shall we?"

"Wait, Dave, why do I have to be the princess?"

"Because you're smaller than me and I am strong. I have to be the knight."

"Why couldn't you get rose or Jade to be the princess? I could be a prince!"

"Hush my princess. We are going to start the game now."

John crossed his arms and sighed. The game was going to start with Terezi (the dragon) stealing John (the princess) and locking him up somewhere. Then Dave (the knight) will come in and slay the evil beast, saving the princess.

*Here is how it all goes down*

"Oh look at me I'm a princess I'm picking flowers bluh bluh bluh." John- I mean the princess says as he walks around and rolls his eyes.

"Raawr!" Terezi says, weirdly sounding like an actual dragon. The princess gasps and starts running.

"Oh my gosh! It's a dragon!"

"Haaaah..." Terezi makes a sound, resembling a dragon using it's fire breath.

"Wait Terezi what was that...?"

"It was a fire breath sound, duh!"

"Oh. Okay, carry on."

Terezi Chased john until she caught up with him and picked his right up, over her shoulder.

"Hehehe, shit john, you're so light!"

"Oh no the dragon has got me!"

"Hehe, now I will take you up to the castle of my master, where she will lock you up!"

"Oh no, who will save me?" John said as Terezi carried him up up the slide. She pretended to lock some kind of door, and then slid down the slide.

"Now I will protect this castle and make sure nobody gets through to save the stupid princess!"

"I know someone will save me!" John called out.

"Silence, human!" Terezi hissed. Dave came running out from behind a tree and towards Terezi, coming at her with a sword (which was actually a stick.)

"I shall slay this beast and save the poor princess!" He called out. Terezi got her fire breath ready.

"Oh no you don't! Haaah..."

Dave dodged her fire breath like it was real. Then, Terezi pushed him over, tackling him to the ground. Terezi was giggling like a maniac as they rolled around, faking punches and sword swipes.

"Oh my god you guys..." John sighed.

Dave got up and jumped back, then they both had a stare down. This was intense as hell.

"I swear I will save the princess that your master has locked up in that tower..."

"Just try~"

Dave gave a smirk, and leaped forward, stabbing Terezi in her heart with his "sword" before she could react. Terezi caressed the place she was stabbed and gasped loudly. She coughed and gagged as she fell to her knees, then died. Dave pretended to put the sword back in it's sheath, but it really just fell to the ground.

"My princess, I am coming for you!" Dave ascended up the slide, which of course didn't take long because it's a kid's playground, and pretended to unlock the lock with the key that he took out of Terezi's pocket. He stepped forward and pulled the princess close, holding him by his waste. John blushed softly at this.

"My princess, I have slayed the dragon and obtained the key, now I will get you out of this wretched castle."
John smiled up at his hero and nodded, even though he was disgusted that he was being called "princess"

"But first, my princess..." Dave took john and dipped him. He smirked before leaning in further and pressing his lips on John's.

"Mm!?" John widened his eyes and blushed deeply. They were both freaking out on the inside. Dave had no idea how John was going to react- oh he's kissing back. John actually closed his eyes and started moving his lips along with Dave's as he held on for dear life. Dave pulled away and pulled John up. John still blushed, standing close to his brave knight. He grabbed Dave by his shirt, roughly pulling him down to kiss him again, hungry for more. Dave put his hands on John's waste as John let go of Dave's shirt, wrapping his arms around his neck. He made this kiss way more passionate and rough. He opened his mouth, letting Dave shove his tongue in, and their tongues basically battled. Like... Like a dragon against a knight, you could say. Dave knew how to kiss, he was a Strider after all, and he had practiced with many girls. His kisses could last forever. But not so much with John, he had to breathe. He pulled away from the amazing kiss and started panting, his face heating up as he blushed.

"I love you, princess."

"I love you too, my brave knight~"

He started fiddling with his hands nervously, avoiding eye contact with his friend.

"D-Dave..."

"John, bro, will you go out with me?"

"Of course I will. You did save me, after all." He smiled and pecked his lips.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on the back of his legs, and on his back, then was lifted up. Dave was holding him bridal style.

"Come, princess, let us leave this place now."

"I- Okay!" John smiled slightly as he was carried down the slide, which Dave slid down standing up. So badass. They passed Terezi, who apparently didn't move an inch, faced down on the ground.

"This isn't over yet, John."

"Is that Equius?"

"Yep." Dave brought him over to the troll and spoke.

"My lady, I would like you to meet my trusty steed."

"You're kidding right?"

Dave lifted John and put him on Equius' back, then he got on.

"Go forth my ironic horse!" Dave instructed. Equius actually sweated a bit, hoping he was doing this right.

"Neigh."

He then galloped into the sunset, and the princess and the brave knight ironically lived happily ever after.