Safe and Sound

I know this has the same name as Taylor Swift's song, but this is not related to the song. Or it wasn't supposed to.

This is Peeta/Katniss and has spoilers from all three books. So if you didn't get there yet, you may hit the button and go back. But do come back when you get there. I'll appreciate it

Review is always welcomed. I hope you enjoy.

It had been a few nights since my dreams would wake me up, turning into nightmares as soon as I opened my eyes, and my screams would kill the silence of 12's night,

But that day it all came back at me, hitting every inch of my body, making me scream as loud as never, and holding me until I knew it was safe to wake up.

So I open my eyes to find blue ones, assuring me everything's okay. Or that, at least, they'd be okay now. I get aside so he can make his way in.

"We would do this after the first Games. You and me. I'd tower over you so you'd be sure you were safe. And I'd let you lie there so I could be sure they didn't take you away from me." His hands ran through my hair. "Real or not real?"

"Real." He'd already asked me this and we both knew it. Because, long ago, back in the war, he started with my favorite color and, as those months went by, we moved through every question, every moment we shared, leaving only one question unasked.

"It's not much of a life, is it?" He asks, not making much sense, looking to a distant point in the wall. But I knew what he aimed with that and I knew that was the reason why his eyes were so far away now.

"What do you mean?" Maybe he'd take it as a I don't want to talk about this and would leave it alone.

"I bake. You hunt. Haymitch drinks. It's no life. It's just what's left from what we once had." But there he was, finding his strength to ask me about it, to make sure it was real or not real, while I was being such a coward.

"I suppose. But, then, what's there for us? Adopt Haymitch?" He laughs and then pain and despair are back to his eyes.

"We could set our lives." He says, simply.

And there it is. The only question left. And I still have no answer to it.

"You love me. Real or not real?" I watch as he closes his eyes, afraid of the answer. Because a huge part of him is saying that I'll say it's not real and that means all of his dreams being shattered.

And could I do it with him? Should I? Because, even after all of those months, rescuing Peeta and spending most of my time with him, I couldn't tell what I felt. Even I didn't know what was real or not. How was I supposed to answer him?

The words from Gale hit me again. She'll choose the one she can't survive without. And I knew I wouldn't survive with him. He proved that to me when I realized how important the fight was to him and what he'd do to win.

But Peeta made me see things the other way and, although I was so poisoned with the idea of wining, he made me see I couldn't be just a piece in a Game, nor Snow's, nor Coin's. And he saved me again and again.

Most importantly, Peeta could give me a feeling that Gale couldn't. Maybe when we were in the woods he could, but that's not much of a life, is it?

And there it laid a chance I never hoped for, but one that Peeta and Gale overthought about, dreaming and making plans. And I found myself making them too, even though my instincts were telling me I shouldn't.

"Real." I say.

Maybe Gale was right and I was just picking the one that could give me the best chance of surviving all of that. But the moment I ignored my instincts I knew it was more than that.

It was like Annie and Finnick or my Mom and Dad. It was the feeling of being safe and sound. And in a world like ours, it meant happiness and love.

"And you still love me." I whisper, wondering how the boy with bread could still love me after I owned him so much.

"Always." He says, kissing my forehead.

And then I realized it was also knowing that it didn't matter how or why; and I could never have that with Gale.