ITOOSHI
By Odango
**IN LOVING MEMORY OF RICARDO LOYD**
Odango: This is my point of view of what happened September 13, 2001.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I can't stop thinking of what happened to him.
To itooshi.
My itooshi.
It seems like it was only yesterday when I told you the good news to bless our lives.
The shock in your body, the smile in your eyes and the grin from ear to ear on your face was enough to know you were as happy as I was.
The kiss you gave me set my heart fluttering, soaring to the clouds.
We celebrated like we did when we first became engaged.
When I first gave my body to you and you to me.
Now I lay happily spent in your strong arms, covered only with the sheet, held protectively and possesively but I won't complain.
I'm dreaming now.
Of us and what our lives are going to be like now.
It's funny how a simple dream such as a happy one can do a 360 and become a visious nightmare, making all hell break loose.
How I wish it would not happen.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The mall is always so crowded.
Hey!
I love shopping like any normal girl would. Window shopping is almost as good as as actual shopping.
Being draged around the whole mall by your hyper best friend can be exauhsting but I'm never one to complain.... much at least.
I laugh at my friends antics as she squeezes a stuffed rabbit, murmering about how kawaii it is and how kawaii it would be for the baby.
I laugh harder as I draged her out of the store, forcefully pulling the rabbit from her arms.
I giggle as she pouts and laugh out loud as her eyes follow a few guys walking in the opposite direction.
Laughter can only last for so long. Either the person starts to ache from the aftermath of laughing too much or...
Gunshots rang through the air not even a few feet from where I am standing.
My laughter stops.
I watch as a body slowly slumps lifeless to the ground.
People continue to scream.
Some for help.
Others out of fright.
But I just stand there.
My first thought was to walk away.
People often get shot around the mall or near it at least.
But something was holding me in place, keeping me in that same spot.
I don't know why but I suddenly got a bad feeling.
I can feel my friend tugging at my sleeve and telling me to leave.
I somehow nod and was about to turn around when I saw it.
The green tank top.
Those blue jeans.
That head of unruly brown hair.
I froze.
No.
It couldn't be... could it?
No.
It was just a huge coincidence that's all. Yeah. Just one big coincidence.
Then why does that braid look so familiar?
I don't know how but the next thing I know I pushed my way through the surrounding crowd and am looking down at the lifeless body.
His lifeless body.
My itooshi.
I feel numb all over and fall to my knees before him. Tears are running down my face but I pay them no attention.
I look at his still form and try to think of it as a dream.
A very bad dream.
My itooshi can't be dead.
I was just with him this morning before Rei had dragged me off to the mall.
He gave me the smile that was meant only for me alone.
The one I will remember always.
The one on his face right now.
Nani?
I touch his neck and am once again shocked.
He's still alive!
But for how long?
I don't care.
I wrap my arms around his body and hug him as I cry.
I see where he is shot through my tears.
A direct hit to the head.
The wound it fatal. He won't last much longer.
My cloths are soaking in his blood.
I don't care. I only hold him tighter.
I know he doesn't have long so I tell him the words right from my soul.
"Aishiteru Hiiro Yuy. My itooshi."
His glazed prussian blue eyes lock onto mine.
I know he is trying hard for breath since his beathing is ragged.
Clasping his hand in mine, I lean down just to hear him whisper his last words to me.
"Aishiteru Tsukino Usagi. My kirei aino-chan."
I turn my head as our lips meet for the final time.
Soft and sweet.
Loving and caring.
Warm and cold.
A tear slips down my face.
I pull back.
His eyes are closed.
He has a smile on his face.
That same smile meant only for me.
For what seemed like minutes or hours, I didn't know how long, but I sat there staring at him.
He looked so peaceful that I can't help the small smile that tugged at my lips.
My itooshi.
I gently kiss his forehead, nuzzling his cheek with mine.
As I look at him once again, I couldn't help myself.
I screamed.
A soul searing scream of someone's soul being ripped from their body.
In a sence it was.
Hiiro was my other half.
He was part of my soul.
Part of my heart.
Now he's gone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's been four days since my itooshi left me.
Left me for the heavenly father from above.
Why was fate so crule to me?
Why does destiny hate me?
Why did they take him from me?!
These questions have been racing through my head day and night, night and day.
I just wanted to curl up into a ball and die.
But no.
I have to live.
For my itooshi wouldn't let me think of such nonesence.
The funeral arrangment had already been made thanks to the help of Quatre. I could have done it myself but I was too much in shock to do anything. My only lifeline support came from my itooshi's best friend.
Speaking of him....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I stare stright at the coffin.
His coffin.
I find it rather funny for a body to be in that small box all by itself, never to see the living world again.
I feel a hand on my shoulder now.
I turn and stare straight at my itooshi's best friend.
Duo Maxwell.
He had been with Hiiro the day he got shot and swore vengence on the guys who shot him. When the medics and Sally Po came for Hiiro's body, Duo held me tightly to himself as I cried out my greif and pain. He's the one who took me home and called the others who came over immidately.
Then he dissapeared.
I didn't see him until yesterday at Hiiro's roseary.
But the look in his eyes told me everything.
He had got them.
He had caught the men who killed my itooshi, my beloved and his best friend.
I hugged him.
I can feel him shaking uncontrolibly in my arms.
I whisper four words to him.
"Let it go Duo."
And he did. The frustration, the pain and the hurt all came out in heart renching tears....
From both of us.
We held onto each other for a long time.
He even stayed the night.
As I look at him now, I know he's a bit more happy.
So am I.
Hiiro's not suffering anymore.
His past can't haunt or harm him.
He is happy now.
Happy to be free from his past.
I smile.
I am happy.
My itooshi is free at last.
Duo holds his hand out to me, the smallest of smiles on his face.
I place my hand in his, lacing our fingures together.
Hand and hand we walk back to the limosine where Quatre, Wufei and Trowa are waiting for us.
I give them a small smile which they all return.
Together the five of us head for the mansion.
Content with each other for the first time since Hiiro's untimely death.
But I will not be sad.
No.
I will go on with my life and raise my child.
My itooshi's child.
With the help of his closest friends and mine.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
8 and 1/2 months later.....
I scream.
This time in pain.
I knew it was going to hurt but not this much.
I feel someone take my hand in theirs. I turn and stare at him.
My husband.
He wipes the sweat from my forehead and squeezes my hand reasurringly.
I nod at him.
With a final push my baby is free from my womb.
Our baby.
Itooshi.
I have never forgotten about my itooshi, even after his death or when I found a new love.
The doctor now places my baby in my arms.
It's a boy.
I look down at him and silently cry.
My baby.
He looks so much like my itooshi.
That unrully brown hair.
Those prussian blue eyes.
That tanned skin.
He was perfect.
Just like his late father.
I feel as my husband slides into the hospital bed with me.
I look up at him as he looks at my baby.
He's speechless for once.
I smile.
"So what are you going to name him?" a nurse asks us.
We look at each other and smile. My husband answers the question.
"Heero Yuy Maxwell."
"Mother's name?"
"Usagi Maxwell."
"Father's name?
We once again look at each other.
I smile. He smiles. Together we answer.
"Duo Maxwell."
The nurse smiles and leaves us.
My itooshi understands why we said Duo.
I look back at my baby who is currently looking at us.
I smile at him.
"Aino-chan" I whisper kissing his forehead. I look up at my husband.
My love.
My protector.
My Shinigami.
He bends his head down so our foreheads are touching.
"I love you Usagi."
"I love you Duo."
We kiss, aware of the laughing bundle in my arms.
Pulling back we stare at our child.
Fatigue suddenly hits me as I reflect upon my life.
My life is good once again.
My dream has come true.
Itooshi.
He is still alive in my heart and I thank him for everthing he has done for me.
My protector.
My lover.
The father of my child.
My itooshi.
THE END
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
**This is dedicated to Ricardo Loyd. He will be forever missed and loved. May God watch over you always Lil Ricky. You will be in my heart and in my mind always. Aishiteru otouto-chan. XOXO**
By Odango
**IN LOVING MEMORY OF RICARDO LOYD**
Odango: This is my point of view of what happened September 13, 2001.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I can't stop thinking of what happened to him.
To itooshi.
My itooshi.
It seems like it was only yesterday when I told you the good news to bless our lives.
The shock in your body, the smile in your eyes and the grin from ear to ear on your face was enough to know you were as happy as I was.
The kiss you gave me set my heart fluttering, soaring to the clouds.
We celebrated like we did when we first became engaged.
When I first gave my body to you and you to me.
Now I lay happily spent in your strong arms, covered only with the sheet, held protectively and possesively but I won't complain.
I'm dreaming now.
Of us and what our lives are going to be like now.
It's funny how a simple dream such as a happy one can do a 360 and become a visious nightmare, making all hell break loose.
How I wish it would not happen.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The mall is always so crowded.
Hey!
I love shopping like any normal girl would. Window shopping is almost as good as as actual shopping.
Being draged around the whole mall by your hyper best friend can be exauhsting but I'm never one to complain.... much at least.
I laugh at my friends antics as she squeezes a stuffed rabbit, murmering about how kawaii it is and how kawaii it would be for the baby.
I laugh harder as I draged her out of the store, forcefully pulling the rabbit from her arms.
I giggle as she pouts and laugh out loud as her eyes follow a few guys walking in the opposite direction.
Laughter can only last for so long. Either the person starts to ache from the aftermath of laughing too much or...
Gunshots rang through the air not even a few feet from where I am standing.
My laughter stops.
I watch as a body slowly slumps lifeless to the ground.
People continue to scream.
Some for help.
Others out of fright.
But I just stand there.
My first thought was to walk away.
People often get shot around the mall or near it at least.
But something was holding me in place, keeping me in that same spot.
I don't know why but I suddenly got a bad feeling.
I can feel my friend tugging at my sleeve and telling me to leave.
I somehow nod and was about to turn around when I saw it.
The green tank top.
Those blue jeans.
That head of unruly brown hair.
I froze.
No.
It couldn't be... could it?
No.
It was just a huge coincidence that's all. Yeah. Just one big coincidence.
Then why does that braid look so familiar?
I don't know how but the next thing I know I pushed my way through the surrounding crowd and am looking down at the lifeless body.
His lifeless body.
My itooshi.
I feel numb all over and fall to my knees before him. Tears are running down my face but I pay them no attention.
I look at his still form and try to think of it as a dream.
A very bad dream.
My itooshi can't be dead.
I was just with him this morning before Rei had dragged me off to the mall.
He gave me the smile that was meant only for me alone.
The one I will remember always.
The one on his face right now.
Nani?
I touch his neck and am once again shocked.
He's still alive!
But for how long?
I don't care.
I wrap my arms around his body and hug him as I cry.
I see where he is shot through my tears.
A direct hit to the head.
The wound it fatal. He won't last much longer.
My cloths are soaking in his blood.
I don't care. I only hold him tighter.
I know he doesn't have long so I tell him the words right from my soul.
"Aishiteru Hiiro Yuy. My itooshi."
His glazed prussian blue eyes lock onto mine.
I know he is trying hard for breath since his beathing is ragged.
Clasping his hand in mine, I lean down just to hear him whisper his last words to me.
"Aishiteru Tsukino Usagi. My kirei aino-chan."
I turn my head as our lips meet for the final time.
Soft and sweet.
Loving and caring.
Warm and cold.
A tear slips down my face.
I pull back.
His eyes are closed.
He has a smile on his face.
That same smile meant only for me.
For what seemed like minutes or hours, I didn't know how long, but I sat there staring at him.
He looked so peaceful that I can't help the small smile that tugged at my lips.
My itooshi.
I gently kiss his forehead, nuzzling his cheek with mine.
As I look at him once again, I couldn't help myself.
I screamed.
A soul searing scream of someone's soul being ripped from their body.
In a sence it was.
Hiiro was my other half.
He was part of my soul.
Part of my heart.
Now he's gone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's been four days since my itooshi left me.
Left me for the heavenly father from above.
Why was fate so crule to me?
Why does destiny hate me?
Why did they take him from me?!
These questions have been racing through my head day and night, night and day.
I just wanted to curl up into a ball and die.
But no.
I have to live.
For my itooshi wouldn't let me think of such nonesence.
The funeral arrangment had already been made thanks to the help of Quatre. I could have done it myself but I was too much in shock to do anything. My only lifeline support came from my itooshi's best friend.
Speaking of him....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I stare stright at the coffin.
His coffin.
I find it rather funny for a body to be in that small box all by itself, never to see the living world again.
I feel a hand on my shoulder now.
I turn and stare straight at my itooshi's best friend.
Duo Maxwell.
He had been with Hiiro the day he got shot and swore vengence on the guys who shot him. When the medics and Sally Po came for Hiiro's body, Duo held me tightly to himself as I cried out my greif and pain. He's the one who took me home and called the others who came over immidately.
Then he dissapeared.
I didn't see him until yesterday at Hiiro's roseary.
But the look in his eyes told me everything.
He had got them.
He had caught the men who killed my itooshi, my beloved and his best friend.
I hugged him.
I can feel him shaking uncontrolibly in my arms.
I whisper four words to him.
"Let it go Duo."
And he did. The frustration, the pain and the hurt all came out in heart renching tears....
From both of us.
We held onto each other for a long time.
He even stayed the night.
As I look at him now, I know he's a bit more happy.
So am I.
Hiiro's not suffering anymore.
His past can't haunt or harm him.
He is happy now.
Happy to be free from his past.
I smile.
I am happy.
My itooshi is free at last.
Duo holds his hand out to me, the smallest of smiles on his face.
I place my hand in his, lacing our fingures together.
Hand and hand we walk back to the limosine where Quatre, Wufei and Trowa are waiting for us.
I give them a small smile which they all return.
Together the five of us head for the mansion.
Content with each other for the first time since Hiiro's untimely death.
But I will not be sad.
No.
I will go on with my life and raise my child.
My itooshi's child.
With the help of his closest friends and mine.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
8 and 1/2 months later.....
I scream.
This time in pain.
I knew it was going to hurt but not this much.
I feel someone take my hand in theirs. I turn and stare at him.
My husband.
He wipes the sweat from my forehead and squeezes my hand reasurringly.
I nod at him.
With a final push my baby is free from my womb.
Our baby.
Itooshi.
I have never forgotten about my itooshi, even after his death or when I found a new love.
The doctor now places my baby in my arms.
It's a boy.
I look down at him and silently cry.
My baby.
He looks so much like my itooshi.
That unrully brown hair.
Those prussian blue eyes.
That tanned skin.
He was perfect.
Just like his late father.
I feel as my husband slides into the hospital bed with me.
I look up at him as he looks at my baby.
He's speechless for once.
I smile.
"So what are you going to name him?" a nurse asks us.
We look at each other and smile. My husband answers the question.
"Heero Yuy Maxwell."
"Mother's name?"
"Usagi Maxwell."
"Father's name?
We once again look at each other.
I smile. He smiles. Together we answer.
"Duo Maxwell."
The nurse smiles and leaves us.
My itooshi understands why we said Duo.
I look back at my baby who is currently looking at us.
I smile at him.
"Aino-chan" I whisper kissing his forehead. I look up at my husband.
My love.
My protector.
My Shinigami.
He bends his head down so our foreheads are touching.
"I love you Usagi."
"I love you Duo."
We kiss, aware of the laughing bundle in my arms.
Pulling back we stare at our child.
Fatigue suddenly hits me as I reflect upon my life.
My life is good once again.
My dream has come true.
Itooshi.
He is still alive in my heart and I thank him for everthing he has done for me.
My protector.
My lover.
The father of my child.
My itooshi.
THE END
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
**This is dedicated to Ricardo Loyd. He will be forever missed and loved. May God watch over you always Lil Ricky. You will be in my heart and in my mind always. Aishiteru otouto-chan. XOXO**