A/N: This one-shot is based off of Taylor Swift's song Sad, Beautiful, Tragic. Tissue Warning.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does. I also do NOT own Taylor Swift's song Sad Beautiful Tragic.
I miss you. I need you even though I don't want to, because I've always been independent. I had to be. Then I met you and you changed everything.
"Bella Bella Bella" I heard you whisper in my ear.
"I'm trying to sleep Tedward." I heard you snort at the nickname I gave you on our first date once you won me that humungous teddy bear. You weren't happy that I wasn't waking up so you tickled me, which with any other person would have pissed me off, but I love you.
"Okay I'm up!" I giggled wishing for your attack on my innocent tummy to stop.
"How did you sleep love?" You asked me after pulling me onto your chest.
"I slept great because you held me all night." I said looking up at you. I was so glad you were able to be here right now. I didn't know when we were going to be able to see each other again after this visit.
You just smiled at me and kissed my lips. "I love you." You whispered on my lips.
"I love you too." I smiled looking up at you.
Tears were streaming down my face at the memory. That was when we were happy. That was when nothing could break us. Now all I have left of you is this note in my pocket that I haven't read but carry with me everywhere. I refuse to read it. I refuse to accept the hand I had been dealt because I knew before looking at my cards that I would lose. I always knew that you were too good for me and that I was never enough for you.
"Edward could you just listen to me for one minute? I told you I would try to fly out there as soon as I could but it's hard. I can't just leave work I have a job to do and you were the one who told me a long distance relationship could work when I accepted this promotion." I yelled into the phone. I was attacking you and that wasn't fair. I was tired and missing you. I felt like you couldn't hear me no matter what I said.
"Bella I just asked you if you knew if you would be able to come down. There is no need to yell at me." You said back into the receiver. I could just picture you, sitting in your big apartment tugging at your beautiful bronze locks. That just made me angrier though. I felt like it was your entire fault. You made me love you and you made me believe that this could work while I felt like it was falling apart.
"No there is a need to yell. I can't do this anymore. You told me it would be fine but it isn't. It's best for both of us if we just try to move on. Forget. I love you but I can't love you like this it hurt's too much. Goodbye." I said and I hung up. Just like that. I didn't give you a chance to respond and I ruined everything between us. All because I was tired and I missed you.
I wish you could have read my mind that night. I'm sitting here in the airport with my suitcase waiting for them to call my flight. If you could have heard me and the turmoil in my head you could have fixed it. You always knew what I needed even if it was just a kiss. A kiss from you could fix everything right now.
I step onto the plane and finally I think I can read the letter you sent me. I need to know if I'm ever going to get past us. I know it's too late to fix it. I broke you. I know this because I broke myself. I ignored you for weeks and months until you stopped calling. I did what I thought was going to happen to me.
Dear Bella,
I don't know what happened. I miss you, but I think you hate me. I'm sorry for pushing you about coming to see me. I knew you were under stress at work and that the distance was already hard for you. It was hard for me too. I guess reminding you every time we talked that we weren't together wasn't helping. I love you. I always will. I'm coming up there to win you back. I have to see you. I have to make us right. I see you everywhere I go and I'm tired of not being able to hold you. I'm getting on the train tonight. It's the quickest way I can get to Seattle. All the other flights have been booked, and the train is leaving tonight. I'll be there soon and I'll probably be with you when you get this letter. I hope by then I will have made everything right.
I love you more than you will ever know,
Edward.
As I finished your letter I was sobbing. You weren't with me when I got this letter and you never will be. That night your train went off its tracks. Nobody survived. I blame myself. If I had answered any of your phone calls I could have made things right. There are so many things I could have done that wouldn't have had you get on that train. I'll love you forever and I know this in my heart. Nobody will ever come close to you. Our love story is a sad one. It's beautiful. It's tragic. I wouldn't change the beginning for the world. Just the end.