Disclaimer-I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or the Hagaren song file 'I Am Here'

On a night when I can't sleep, I slip out of my room

Look up at the sky, and feel the wind

Listening closely and watching intently

Was I ever really human at all...? Am I human now? Brother tells me that I'm the same as I was back then but I can't believe him.

If this scenery and this wind

Are someone's creations

Then is this me, who is here now, also

A creation?

Edward works so hard to get me back to normal. I wish I could tell him that he doesn't have to, that maybe I have to stay like this. That I can never go back to being 'normal' even if I have a human body. But I really hope that he can go back to normal.

Even if I tried to ask or search for it

The answer wouldn't exist anywhere

As if burying a puzzle that is missing pieces

Even if I gather far and wide for the pieces of my memory

That which have been lost are unfindable

If I try to remember parts of my past, sometimes they're not there. Like it never really happened at all. Like if Edward made it all up, everything. But I don't think he would do that. He said that I was the same as I was before we tried that transmutation...but I just can't believe him not matter what he says. Which is weird, because Edward is the person I trust most.

If these memories and recollections Aren't real things Then what in the world is this feeling That I'm feeling now?

It hurts now. Not being able to do such trivial things, like understand what my brother is going through. For me, the pain is there, but it's hardly real anymore. If it ever was real...but Edward's pain is actually there, not just the phantom of something that died and won't leave.

Even if I sharpened in the darkness The answer wouldn't exist anywhere The blue sky, the sound of winds, the warmth of grass The sunset, the starry sky, smiling faces If these memories and recollections Aren't real things Then who in the world is this me Who is here now? Sometimes I feel like maybe Brother would be better off if he just never brought my soul back. He wouldn't have lost his arm or had to use automail that way. I feel really responsible for the way he is...the way we are. If I told him that he would probably say something like 'What? If I lost you it would hurt way more than losing my arm.' If this world and everything Are a world that someone created Then what in the world is this me Who is here now? Edward has a lot of faith in me. I just can't feel human again. But I wish I could have more faith in myself. I'm sure that eventually I'll be able to trust myself like I trust Ed. Even if I faced and asked the sky The answer isn't here I am here now...