Disclaimer: Don't own, never will
A woman's face scrunched in distress, and then smoothed out after a moment. A few minutes later it happened again. Mumbles were heard from under her breath, but nothing distinctive was uttered. With a jerk she lunged upward breathless, with sleep still tangled around her like a net.
Blinking her eyes frantically, she sniffed and rubbed her face, wiping away tears, trying to force the dream back into her subconscious. Sighing she gave up, and threw back her covers. 'I should have known. It never works.' She thought sadly.
Stumbling toward her bathroom she didn't bother to turn on the light to run some cold water from the facet. Splashing it over her face, she stared at her shadowy reflection in the mirror. Nothing ever seemed to change, except the most important thing in her life. The one thing she wished desperately that she could get back. 'Inuyasha…' she thought longingly.
Angry at herself she grabbed the hand towel off the rack, in the process managing to rip the holder out of the wall. A single tear fell down her cheek as she stared at what she had done. Shaking her head abruptly, she threw the unused towel on the counter and stormed out of the room.
Stomping down the dark hall she tripped over the shoes she could never seem to put in their spot. Cursing as she grabbed at her toes, she hopped the rest of the way to the kitchen. Standing there blankly, she didn't know what to do. A thought struck her, so grabbing a pen and paper she sat down to write.
Tears escaped her tightly held control as she tried to see the paper. Blinking only managed to drop the tears faster on the ever growing soggy page. Crumpling it up she threw it behind her on the floor. 'Doesn't matter.' She thought frantically.
Trying again she scratched down words that didn't make sense on the page. Pausing to read it over, she screamed harshly, the sound echoing in the nearly empty room as she buried her face in her hands.
Memories overwhelmed her. Times that were happier, in the arms of the man she loved.
Sunlight dappled the park as the 13 year old girl spun around screaming with laughter and delight, "Faster Inu! Faster!" Boyish laughter joined hers as he jumped onto the spinning wheel. White and black hair mingled in the air as he pulled her close whispering in her ear, "I love you." The joy she felt bubbled to the surface as she grasped his face in her hands pulling him closer. Hesitant lips met for the first time as they spun around, the wheel slowing down little by little as it lost momentum.
Flopping down she let out an exhausted sigh. High school sucked! Who knew that they actually let people torture what was supposed to be the leaders of the future with what they deemed 'homework'! Pssh! More like the legal form of evil! Kicking her foot out she thumped the bag that seemed to grow heavier by the day and sighed again. Suddenly there was a breeze across her. 'I could have sworn my window was shut…' She sat up to look around. Not finding anything there she blew it off and hopped up to close the window. It might have been spring, but it was nowhere near warm enough to suit her!
Glancing over at the clock she guessed she had a few hours to prepare herself. 'Tonight was the night. Her parents were out of town on business and' -arms encircled her waist abruptly making her let out a short scream, until a familiar set of lips ghosted across her neck making her shiver. "Damn it, Inu! You have to stop doing that you nearly scared me to death!" Rumbled laughter came from deep in the chest pressed cozily to her back as he snuggled her closer to him. Brushing his lips against her ear he whispered, "I missed you, I had to come see you." The smirk was evident in his voice at the reflective shiver she was unable to suppress. A warm wet appendage flicked across her ear as more laughter came from him at the moan she was unable to muffle.
Turning around she let loving eyes crawl across her wonderful boyfriend. 'Love of my life…' she thought dreamily as she took in the silky silver hair, masculine features complimented by his burnished amber eyes. It only helped that he was wearing a tight red shirt that only enhanced his broad shoulders and trim muscled waist. Flicking her tongue against her upper lip she had a reason of her own to smirk. She may not have been expecting him until later, but now would work. Without giving him time to react she shoved at his shoulders sending him flying to her bed, his look of shock making her unable to hold in her laughter. "Wha-!" Was all he was able to get out before she reached down and in one quick motion, pulled her shirt and undershirt over her head leaving her clad in just her pants.
Inuyasha's mouth hung open in surprise as she unsnapped her pants and shimmied out of them, pulling her panties down with them at the same time. Biting her lip, barely keeping nerves at bay, she sauntered over to crawl on him lap. "Babe, what are you doing?" Voice husky with arousal that he was failing to hide, he was giving her a wide eyed scared puppy look like it was all of his birthdays and Christmas's combine, but he was afraid someone was going to tell him he couldn't have his present.
Leaning forward she pressed kisses to his lips as she tugged his shirt up and dragged it off his frame. "Babe-"She cut him off, "I can't believe you can't figure it out Inu! I thought you were a smart boy." Giving him a seductive look she leaned forward again to tangle her tongue with his. Keeping her eyes open and on his, while he was distracted she quickly unsnapped his jeans and slipped her hand inside to toy with his hardened length. His eyes flew open in shock, and then slowly closed again from the sensations she was giving him.
Prying his eyes open after a moment he tried to give her a firm look, which was just a little shaky. "Are you sure…?" he asked quietly. She pressed closer to him, squeezing him firmly in hand. "I've never been more sure of anything." She stated firmly. It had barely left her mouth before he flipped them so he was on top. Pleasure crept over her mind as she gave herself to the only man she would ever love for the first time.
Walking down the sidewalk she checked her phone again. Sighing when it read no missed calls or new messages she hurried over to his house. They were supposed to meet an hour ago, but he hadn't showed at the restaurant. Trying to call him didn't work either, as his phone went straight to voice-mail. Stomach tense with nerves she walked just a little faster. 'He was never late' she thought uneasily. Hurrying again she sighed as she realized that she was almost to him house. Looking ahead she spotted his car making her almost limp with relief. 'He's ok, thank kami!' she thought. Loud laughter made her glance over at a couple walking toward her on the opposite side of the road. Freezing, she almost tumbled to the ground, as she forced herself to look again.
There he was, safe and sound. Not lying dead in a ditch. No blood running, not wounds. Nothing but him, with another girl wrapped up in his arms. Flinching as water struck her cheek she looked up expecting to see clouds. At the sight of the clear sky she felt her cheek, only to find it wet with tears. Looking back at them, as her whole world fell apart around her she could almost feel all of the future plans and dreams they had made falling apart one by one.
Sniffing she rubbed at her eye, but the movement drew their attention to her. Inuyasha's eyes widened at the sight of her. Faint words reached her ear as she heard the other woman snidely say, "Wow, look at that pathetic girl! Who the hell stands outside crying? She must be crazy!" Inuyasha looked down at her and murmured something too low for her to hear.
Breaking away from the other girl he walked over to her. Stopping in front of her he reached out a hand, which she slapped away. "How could you…" She almost moaned in sorrow. His ears lowered to his head, staring at the ground he replied, "We just aren't meant to be." Moaning now like a wounded animal she turned and ran without looking back, leaving her heart shattered on the ground at his feet. It was always his, and now that he didn't want it anymore she had no use for it.
Blinking back into the here and now she lowered her head, eyes streaming tears. Two months. It had been two, torturous horrible months where she felt more dead than alive. Being unable to smile, feeling no happiness, nothing but pain. What was she without Inuyasha to complete her? Nothing, she was like a ghost, unable to move on, stuck in limbo. Sorrow overwhelmed her, and she collapsed with sobs onto the table top.
Minutes passed by, the only noise her quiet sobs and sniffles. Slowly they stopped, only interrupted by an occasional hiccup. Resolve tightened her features, drawing skin close to the bone. Slowly, with a small tremble, her pale, slender hand pulled a sheet of paper closer to her. Grasping the pen, she jotted a single line on it. Carefully laying the pen across the paper, she got up and straightened the mess she had made, dumping the discarded paper in the bin.
Walking to her room she took a long, hot shower. With extra care she did her hair and makeup, placing everything back in its place when she was done with it. Walking to her closet she pulled out her best dress, a floor length red sheath with a simple slit up to her thigh on the right side. 'His favorite…' Crossed her mind, but she pushed it away. Tonight wasn't about him anymore. It was about her now.
Slipping on her favorite lingerie set, also in red, she pulled on the dress. Looking into her mirror she smoothed careful hands down her sides removing any wrinkles from the satin cloth. Grabbing her black heels she pulled them on. When she was done with that, she got out the necklace and earring set of diamonds and rubies that he had gotten her for their fifth anniversary. The thought of 'He worked all summer just to save up enough.' Crept into her mind before she banished it too.
Walking into the kitchen she grabbed all that she needed before heading back to her room. Carefully placing the note on what used to be his pillow, she leaned back. Without giving herself time to think, she drew the sharp blade across both wrists. A single tear crept down her cheek as she grew colder and colder, but before she knew no more, her last thought was of the life they could have had, if only she were meant for him.
Inuyasha took a deep breath before steeling his resolve. Marching up to the door he knocked firmly. Receiving no reply he knocked harder. A few minutes passed by, and he banged on the door. It was a Tuesday, her favorite show was on, and she never missed it. Assuming she just couldn't hear the door, he proceeded to pound on the door, determined to talk to her.
A door finally opened, but not the one he was trying to get into. An elderly man stood there in fuzzy slippers blinking at the noise. "What are you trying to do, son? Wake the neighborhood?" Inuyasha growled at him and replied, "I need to talk to the girl who lives here." The man gave him a confused look and said, "No one lives there anymore." Inuyasha, starting to feel frantic asked him, "Do you know where she moved?" The man gave him a sad look and nodded. "Yes, I do. She's now at the south corner of downtown. Placed called Sleepy Acres." Inuyasha gave him a nod in thanks and bolted out of the door before the man could give him more directions.
Driving frantically across town, he arrived at the place, but was confused. Only one house was there, and it was dark. She didn't like the dark, had always said it felt as though it was waiting for her. Getting out he walked up the short drive and banged on the door. After about ten minutes he heard movement from inside. An older woman opened the door, "Yes? Can I help you?" She asked. Inuyasha asked the woman if she knew where she could be found. The woman gave him a sad look and nodded her head. Slipping on a pair of boots and a warm coat, she led him out behind the house.
After walking for a few moments, they came to a hill top with a view of the forest down below. Inuyasha was confused and asked the old woman again where she was at. Without looking at him she pointed to her right, and then started back down the path. Staring after her, he turned to see what she had pointed to. Spying a rock he walked over to it, but when he got there, he felt the bottom drop out of his world.
In simple letters were her name, her birth date, and something that ripped out his heart. Her date of death. Tears welled up in his eyes as he stared at what was her headstone. 'The sad looks the old man, and woman had given him suddenly made sense' he thought hazily. Inuyasha's legs collapsed under him and suddenly he was kneeling in front of the stone.
A sound behind him made him whirl around, with her name on his lips, as his hopes rose that this was some horrible joke being played on him. They were dashed, though, as he saw her best friend come over the hill. Sniffing, Inuyasha turned back to the thing that ended his heart, ignoring the girl as she walked to stand beside him.
"She was never the same, after you broke things off with her. I mean it wasn't a long time, but you could tell. She just wasn't there without you." Every word she spoke was like a rock in his gut, tears choking in his throat. "Why…?" He barely got out. She pointed to the bottom, at an inscription he hadn't even seen. It read 'I'll always love him as though it was meant to be.' Breaking down in sobs at the sight of the words he had used to tear her apart with, he fell all the way down, his face buried in his arms on the ground before the gravestone. "I knew I was wrong. I was coming to tell her that. I was!" He screamed out between sobs. A soft hand patted his shoulder as she quietly said, "But just a little too late."
Feeling his soul grow cold, he thought of never seeing her smiling face, or gazing into her beautiful brown eyes again, never holding her close to him. He was never going to get the chance to feel her stomach swell with their child. Now he was fated to grow old without her. Without the woman he was meant for.
The stupidity of his actions slapped him in the face. If he hadn't wanted to see what else was out there, what other women he could have, he wouldn't be here right now. They would be wrapped around each other watching that stupid show she loved. He didn't even have the honor to break things off with her, he just got another woman, someone he didn't want to talk to, someone he just wanted to screw. He let her find out that way, knowing what it would do to her. That woman had never touched his heart, had never brought joy to his soul with her laughter. She was nothing to him. But still he threw away the best thing of his life, all for nothing.
Soft steps walked away from him, leaving him alone to his grief. Now he really was as alone as he felt. Numbness settled into him as he knelt there. Hours later, as the sun started to rise, he stiffly got to his feet. As he turned to walk away, back to his lonely life, he paused, and glanced over to the stone. Feeling a lonely tear trace down his cheek he told her one last time, "We were always meant to be…Kagome."