The Doctor's Name: The Generic Fan-Theory
'Doctor!' said Clara 'There are weird faceless except for mouths dudes coming towards us!'
'Don't worry!' the Doctor replied as he pulled his trusty sonic screwdriver from his fez. 'My trusty sonic screwdriver will stop them.'
The Doctor aimed his trusty sonic screwdriver at the Whisperers but nothing happened. 'Oh no! They're made out of wood!' Then River was there.
'We have to say your name!' said River. 'That will stop them or something!'
'No!' the Doctor replied. 'No one can know that for some reason or something.'
'We have to!' said River. 'Derek!'
And then there was science and time travel and the universe was saved or something I don't really know but I'm really excited about that episode and I've been trying to avoid reading the spoilers that have been apparently going around since BBC America screwed up with the thing and stuff or whatever.