A/N: This is for Darkest-Hearts birthday. I don't own anyone...yet. But if there's a payment plan, maybe someday. ;P
Revenge is Sweet (Jeff's Birthday)
Jeff Hardy couldn't understand it. He'd awakened that morning with a smile on his face, knowing it was a special day. Today was his birthday, and he had to work. He didn't mind working, since it meant that he'd be seeing his friends in the locker room. His toes curled in delight at the thought of it. Every year, Matt made a huge deal about his birthday, and every year, he ran around like a little kid on a sugar high. And this year, he got to do it at work. He'd been anticipating it all week, talking to Matt and getting more and more excited as the days passed. So why was everything all wrong?
It started with Matt, who insisted that Jeff had the date wrong. "Your birthday's not until tomorrow," he'd told his brother at breakfast that morning. "See?" He held out a calendar with tulips on it. The calendar showed that August 31st fell on a Tuesday, but Jeff knew that couldn't be right. He'd double checked it all week, and he was sure that it fell on a Monday this year. "Don't worry," Matt said. "I have something fun planned for tomorrow. We can go to the movies and then I'll take you to that restaurant you like. Chuck E Cheese, right?"
"Matt," Jeff whined. "You know I don't like Chuck E Cheese. That mouse scares me! Besides, what fun is a movie and dinner at a theme restaurant?"
Matt shrugged. "I'm sure we'll think of something."
The disappointment hadn't ended there. When they got to work, everyone ignored him. "It's my birthday," Jeff said to Miz.
"I thought that was tomorrow," said the Awesome one. "Hey, Morrison? What's today?"
"August 30th. Why?" Morrison asked.
"Thought so," said Miz qirth a smirk. "Nice try, Hardy, but you're not going to fool me with your fake birthday."
Jeff pouted. "But it really is my birthday!" he protested.
"You can't just say it's your birthday if it's not," Morrison said. "Come on, Miz. We have to get ready for our match later."
Miz nodded and they left a dejected Jeff Hardy in the hall alone. He sniffled and sat down on one of the folding chairs the crew had brought in. "It's my birthday," he told the wall sadly. "And no one cares."
"Hey, Jeff," someone said. The Charismatic Enigma looked up to see CM Punk. "What's the matter?"
"Oh," Jeff said. "You wouldn't understand."
Punk shrugged. "Okay. Matt's looking for you."
"It's my birthday today," Jeff said. "Exceopt everyone thinks it's tomorrow, for some reason. I know that today's August 31st. I've been watching the calendar all week!"
"It's not like a clock, Jeff," Punk said. "You don't have to watch it because calendars never change. They're always the same set of dates on the same days."
"Well, it did change! Earlier this week, my birthday was on Monday, and now it's on Tuesday!" He wailed, causing Punk to pat his back in synpathy. "I mean, you don't like your birthday."
"Sometimes they're okay," Punk admitted. "Remember last year, when you threw me that party?"
Jeff nodded. "I just wanted to have a special day like that, too."
"Well, your birthday will fall on a Monday eventually," Punk said helpfully. "In a few years."
Jeff looked stricken. "Years? B-but it was going to be wonderful! I had big plans for today!"
Punk nodded. "Uh huh. You know, Matt said that creative wants you in makeup. You've got that match tonight against me, and we have to really sell it. I heard the crowd has been restless the past few weeks and they're starting to lose interest in the feud."
Jeff sighed. "All right. I'll go to makeup, then."
"I'm headed that way, anyway," Punk said. "I hurt my wrist this weekend and I need medical to have a look."
Jeff sighed again and fell into step with the Straightedge Superstar. "I really thought it was my birthday," he said.
"Yeah. That can happen. All the days run together, and you have no idea what the date is. You only know that it's Monday again already."
When they got to makeup, Jeff said, "See you in the ring."
"Yeah," Punk said with a nod. He turned to walk away, but paused as Jeff pushed open the door.
The sound of the crowd shouting, "Surprise!" in the makeup room was deafening. Jeff almost fell over.
"What?" he asked, staring into the room in disbelief.
Punk stepped up beside him. "Huh. Guess it's your birthday, after all," he said with a grin, slinging his arm around Jeff's shoulders. "Imagine that."
"Did you do this?" Jeff asked, giving the Straightedge Superstar a wide eyed look.
"Seemed only right, since you got me last year," said Punk.
"You have no idea how hard it was to keep quiet this morning," Matt said. "And we had to get all those calendars made last minute so you wouldn't know today was the 31st."
"We had to tell the whole locker room, too," said Punk. "What a nightmare, but it was worth it if you were surprised."
"I thought I was going crazy," Jeff said, sniffling. "I thought my calendar was broken."
Punk laughed. "Happy birthday, Jeff. And maybe this year, you won't seranade me in the halls with the birthday song."
Jeff grinned at Punk. "No promises," he said.