Ludwig Beilscmidt was working, and he was bored. He was picking up pine cones outside a local business, but he didn't want to be here. He wasn't even getting paid; he was working off some of his community service hours he was charged with, after a certain incident at Walmart. He wiped the sweat off of his face, wishing he was anywhere but here. Even sitting sadly in his bedroom alone was better than this.
His train of thought soon switched to more indecent bedroom activities, as it usually did. He thought of tables and watermelons, of coupons and especially gnomes... Before he knew it, he had a huge erection right here, in the center of town, in front of all the other community service workers. He tried to flip his penis up to get rid of the lump, but his bicycle shorts were too tight for him to even get his hand in his pants.
He decided that he would just have to get rid of this erection the old fashioned way. He looked around with desperation; just what could he fuck to get rid of this problem?
However, as he was thinking, he was yelled at to stop slacking and get back to work. He sighed and reached down to pick up more pine cones.
Then it hit him.
He glanced at the brown beauty in his hands, and grinned.
He knew what he had to do.
While the officer's back was turned, he fled behind one of the larger pine trees. His heart pounded as he held the pine cone up to his face, inhaling the musky, nature-y scent. His penis throbbed as he felt the texture of the conifer cone; he loved how it scraped against him, irritating his skin. He could imagine how it would feel on his penis. He could feel his entire body tingling in sweet anticipation. He took an extra long time in peeling off his bicycle shorts, teasing himself. He lightly brushed the pine cone down his flabby abs, right down to where his cock was lying against his belly. He excitedly held the pine cone at the base of his penis, slowly and painstakingly grating it upwards, leaving scratch marks on his wang. He shuddered in ecstasy, repeating the action at a more rapid pace. He soon fell into a rhythm of grinding the cone against his dick, feeling himself coming closer and closer to orgasm.
But he couldn't let it end there.
He reluctantly slowed his pace, calming himself down a bit. However, the lack of stimulation just proved to increase his anticipation, exciting him even more. He squatted down, lining up the tip of the pine cone with his puckering anus. He inhaled deeply before sitting down abruptly, lodging the pine cone into his butthole. He moaned in pleasure, and while keeping a hold on one end of the pinecone, began to ride the pine cone, aiming for his prostate. He adored the feeling of the pine cone burning the sensitive skin of his anus until it was raw. Oh yes, Germany was in pure heaven.
In one aggressive move, he slammed the pine cone deep into his rectum. Fortunately for Germany, his aim was very good, and the cone rammed right into his prostate, piercing the skin in and around the gland, causing Germany excruciating pain. He came immediately after.
It was one of the best orgasms he had ever had.
He was soon put into jail again for public nudity and given 200 more hours of community service.
... Not that he minded, though.
FIN