Spoilers for Vampire Knight and Vampire Knight Guilty TV.

Via Vincio: The Braided Way

By Gabihime ( gabihime at gmail dot com )

One - Like drops of water in the ocean.

-

Once upon a time there was a goose-girl, although she was not born a goose-girl but a princess, the only daughter of a beautiful queen whose husband had died. The queen decided that for the princess to find happiness, she needed to wed, so she arranged for her daughter to marry a king from a far kingdom, whom she knew was kind and noble and just. Then, although it pained her to be parted from her daughter, the queen sent the princess away on a journey to the far kingdom.

It was on this journey that the princess was turned into a goose-girl.

-

The first moments when her feet had led her away from the old stone home of Cross Academy were heady and breathless. She was dizzy, lighter than air, like her soul was helium in a balloon that was tethered to Kaname Kuran's arm as he slowly, patiently led her forward. Perhaps her soul was made of helium now, or some other strange and unfamiliar substance; helium, queen of the noble gases and Yuki Cross, sole and singular princess of the Kuran family.

In some ways it was not immediately real, their departure, her exodus from the walled garden that had been her home for the ten years of her happy idyll, cloistered from both the troubles of vampire society, and the troubles of the world of men. Later she would reflect that it was not so very different than being released from vows in a convent. She was leaving the walled garden where she beat as the heart-rose and entering the wider, wilder world, which was unknown and mysterious. It was painful, as if she were a flower, a perennial perhaps, since she would continue to bloom year after year, a flower that was required to uproot itself, tear itself from the safe earth, because the ground where it grew no longer had a place for it. And it was also exhausting, digging doggedly with her egg tooth in an attempt to emerge wholly from the shell that was the garden by her own will, lest she leave too many of her innards behind and find herself dying, lacking some essential part of herself.

Zero.

It was not until they were on the boat that the reality began to settle into her bones.

She was going away.

She was going away from Cross Academy. She was going away from the Headmaster, father, from Yori, friend, from Zero --

From Zero.

Family.

Then, standing on the deck of the steamer in the cool night air, she turned her face toward Kaname and asked,

"Where are we going?"

He had smiled briefly, the soft, gentle smile he had given to her since she was a child, and answered, "Away. It would be difficult to stay, given what has happened, even if that would give you pleasure. I am not certain it would be safe."

Her slender fingers had curled around his arm as she stood with him on the deck, her hair carried up to dance around her face by the movement of the air over the sea.

"To protect everyone at Cross Academy," she smiled and it was the mingling of happiness and loss, the face of one who has found a treasure, but paid a great price to know its value, "One guardian has to leave, I guess. I know everyone will be all right. Everyone around me was strong, and I didn't know it, or I didn't understand it. I am lucky to have been protected by the hearts of so many good people."

He pulled his arm away from her fingers and wrapped it around her back, pulling her close so that her hipbone was against him and he could feel the physical presence of her body, of her weight, and they stood, side by side, looking at the sea.

At last he answered her, "You are also strong, Yuki. Your heart may feel weak, but you are strong. You have an open heart. You have always had an open heart. I know you grieve now, because you feel like your heart is being torn away from those you are leaving, but it is not being torn away. Bonds of the heart are not like lines of string. Those that are worth do not snap with distance or time."

"I miss Cross Academy," she said softly, "It's so strange, not waking up in the dorm with Yori and having to run to get some toast at breakfast, being late for class and trying to crawl in so the teacher doesn't see me, the Headmaster out in his garden wearing his apron with kittens on it, the class president giving me a hard time over my scores. I keep thinking 'where did that time go, that I took for granted?'"

"Time goes and does not come back," Kaname murmured into the top of her head, "That is what time does, and why it is precious. But just because it has passed does not mean that you took it for granted. Whenever I saw you, you were smiling. I think you love the moments of the day, each moment, because you live smiling. We cannot live still in a bubble of time. A vampire cannot do that. Not even a pureblood can do that. The world is always moving around us, even if we ourselves stand still. The world will always change and things will pass away, but new things will come. Just because they are not the same things does not meant that they are not good things."

"I can't go back," Yuki trembled, closing her eyes against the thin, cool spray of the night sea, "I know I can't go back. But I miss the Headmaster, and Yori always taking care of me, and -- " she had his name in her mouth, but Kaname spoke before she could.

"I know," his voice was low, but then the moment of tension had passed and he relaxed again, "I know you do, Yuki. You are right, you can never go back to the Cross Academy that was, because that is gone. But that doesn't mean that you can't go forward to the Cross Academy that will be, some time in the future. We will not always live in difficult times. Trust me, Yuki. I will never lead you to a place you cannot return from, should you wish to."

"I know, Kaname-sem -- "

"Kaname," he corrected, and then was very still, waiting for her response.

It was one moment lost in the dark night at sea.

"Kaname," she said.

-

The answer to the question, "Where are we going?" was ultimately not "Away," as Yuki realized. They were not fleeing from something, but rather moving toward something, moving through something, a something that turned out to be the world around them, painted on the illustrated pages of picture books read in a windowless room a decade past. Kaname did not have to tell her, 'Let us look at the world together, that we once looked at only in books,' because when she was close to him she could feel his heartbeat and she understood, even if he wished to hide his intentions, and emotions, behind a curtain.

She had spent her life hidden from the world, for her safety, longing to touch sunsets and waterfalls and rainbows and the sea, kept first in a basement nursery and then in a walled garden. She had seen and thought and felt many things within the confines of Cross Academy -- her blood beating wild and hot, a furious joy at being alive, the terrible despair of futility -- but there was more of the world to be known than just the grounds of Cross Academy.

"Because it is different," Kaname had said, "Does not mean that you will love it less."

They landed in Shanghai with the horizon devouring the sun and painting the sky the color of the flesh of a blood orange.

"Someday," Kaname said, as he gave her his arm to disembark from the ship, "We will sail as far as you like, west, into the sunset. And you can touch the warm, amber sky, and taste the warm amber sea. You won't have to be afraid of the heat. I won't allow it to burn you."

She had laughed a little, "Can you really keep the sunset from being too hot?"

"For you," he said, "I can shift the heavens."

For him, it was a truth.

To Ruka, Seiren, Aido, and Kain she was Yuki-Kuran-sama, the Kuran princess, and nothing she could do or say could convince them otherwise. Her blood informed them, her presence informed them. She was not Yuki-Cross, and could never be. She was a pureblood vampire, and this was something that none of them could either ignore or deny, not Yuki herself, when she looked at them and saw Idol, Wild, Ruka, and Seiren, classmates, sempai, the young nobles of Kaname's court, nor they, when they turned and saw her in profile, the beautiful, courageous, kind-hearted Kuran princess. Who she was could not be changed, had never been changed no matter what her name was or had been, no matter what her outward shape, and they began to love her without meaning to, even in cases where it might have been easier had they not.

A gentle vampire.

It seemed to be a thing that should not exist, even to Aido, who had once seen Haruka and Juri Kuran.

Even more strange that it could be the impossible Yuki Cross, who had been so thoroughly, intensely, and mundanely human that she had been both boring and aggravating in turns, because Kaname Kuran had paid her such attention and courtesy. What was more damning to the reckoning of such a strange turn of events was that she had not changed in any observable way. She was still thoroughly, intensely, mundanely the prefect Yuki Cross, but she was also somehow the ethereal pureblood Kuran princess, who had recklessly endangered her own life in an attempt to protect those she loved. She was two things that were different and also entirely same. She was not two. She was one.

It was not something that made sense to Aido, even when he tried, at great length, to reason it out.

He was forced to take it as it was: an article of faith.

Ruka had begun by considering Yuki-Cross-Yuki-Kuran-sama as a person who was necessary for Kaname Kuran's happiness. She was the candle that lit up his darkness, a flame to protect with bare hands. That Ruka loved Kaname could not change, had no way of changing, because it was part of her skin and blood identity. She loved him and expected nothing, because to love him made her happy. It was like loving a saint, or the Queen of Heaven, or the King of Men, and it was enough for her to show her love to him through obedience and sacrifice.

But to love and care for Yuki-Cross-Kuran did not turn out to be a sacrifice. It would never be that easy for Ruka: the simple, poetic exit of martyrdom through love. Yuki was kind and thoughtful, full of good humor, occasionally a mess, and sometimes heart-breakingly imperial. Ruka did not have to wonder why Kaname Kuran loved her, would part the seas for her, would stop the turning of the earth for her. What Ruka came to understand was that Yuki-Cross-Kuran was a person to be loved, no matter the intention with which she was approached.

This was because Yuki-Cross-Kuran loved.

Against this, Ruka discovered she had no defenses.

Kain found he was ultimately not very troubled. Aido was happy, although given to tantrums, which was not so different than it had ever been. Ruka was beautiful, patient, and giving, which was not so different than it had ever been. Kaname was a prince who had revealed himself a king. Yuki Kuran, the Kuran princess, loved him. These were all truths that seemed plain to him, and everything appeared to follow through in a way that made sense. Fish lived in the sea rather than swimming through the sky, and that was enough for him. He did not trouble himself that their bird princess had once been a minnow.

Seiren would follow her lord.

Yuki Kuran carried Kaname Kuran's blood and would eventually carry his child.

Seiren would guard her lord's blood with her life.

Kaname Kuran called her not Yuki Cross nor Yuki Cross Kuran nor Yuki Kuran but simply Yuki, and she was to him as she had ever been, the only thing of value in the world.

"Kaname-onii-san. You're not alone. You're never alone. Yuki is with you."

"Will you leave me alone?"

"I won't."

"There must be something wrong with me. I've been in love with my brother all this time."

"Like beasts?"

"Like mother and father."

"I love you, Yuki. Nothing you could do will ever change that."

"Why did you come, now that you're free?"

"Because Kaname-sempai is also someone I want to protect."

-

She slept in windowless berths and cabins, comfortable, but firmly bordered, the walls enclosing her daytime universe spent in the company of Kaname Kuran. At first she had been shy, but then that had been absurd. Kaname needed her close to him. She belonged close to him, had always strained to be close to him. There was no reason she should not stay close to him. He was her brother and she was sixteen, but they were not human and that did not matter.

She had said, "I would bear anything for you, Kaname-sama."

Vampire, pureblood, human, or otherwise, it would not have mattered. She had said so. She had meant it.

-

So in their windowless berths and sleeping cabins, when dawn drew on she put on her nightgown, brushed her teeth, and obediently crawled into bed. Kaname would retire from public company and she would watch him go through his nightly routine from under the blankets. When he was ready, he would turn back the sheet to discover her.

"Surprise!" she always said, as if she were still a little girl, and they had been playing hide and seek through the rooms of Kuran House.

"I'm surprised," he always assured, quite seriously, then laid down next to her.

It was easy to be with him because she found that she did not have to try to understand him. He feared she would leave him. He feared still that he would do something to push her away from him. He loved her more than his own life. He guarded her more closely than his own life. He would choose his own death before making her unhappy. He was kind. He was terrible like a monster, and strong and fierce and at times not even remotely human, but he was kind, and he loved her.

And she had loved him from conception, the moment she had sprung into being.

Sometimes she told him when they lay next to each other, feeling the sway of the sea or the rails.

"Kaname, I love you."

This she offered seriously, with wide, quiet eyes.

He would smile slightly at her serious face and say, "That makes me very happy."

-

Sometimes she would wake sweaty and screaming, the victim of some vicious, viscous dream of the past and he would wrap her in his arms and pull her against his cool, bare chest, murmuring into the damp length of her hair that she was safe, that she didn't have anything to fear. She cried against him then, cried remembering her mother and her father, remembering the blood and stain of Rido, smelling her own fear of being devoured. She cried for Zero, whom she had hurt and loved and feared and loved and left standing on a battlement, alone, because he could not love her any longer, even if he did. She cried against Kaname as if she could bury herself inside him, and he held her, stroked her hair, rubbed her back slowly and evenly, and spoke soft nonsense to her until she had cried herself out and was still.

The hunger came sometimes during the day, and sometimes at night, in rooms lit by lamps, or by the stars, in the company of others, and sometimes overwhelmingly when they were alone. He would turn to see her eyes radiating faint rose light like stars, and then he would excuse the both of them and lead her away to privacy.

"Hn," said Aido, after one nearly indiscreet departure from the glass roofed dining car, "I suppose the coupling of purebloods isn't something we're meant to see."

"Show respect," Ruka had snapped at him tensely, and it looked as if she might put her delicate fork through her dessert plate.

"I am full of respect!" Aido argued peevishly.

"You're full of something," Kain interceded laconically, sliding his own dessert plate in front of Ruka, so that she had gateau to destroy in place of the china.

"Respect," Aido insisted. "I am full of respect."

No one felt it worthwhile to argue the point with him further, so they let it rest at that and he ordered two bowls of ice cream to console himself.

-

In the dark of the cabin her eyes shone, and Kaname carried her to the bed and undid his collar, leaning close to her to smell the powdery sweetness of her hair, to smell the keenness of her hunger.

"Yuki," he spoke softly, feeling her small hands climbing his chest, "Drink as much as you need."

"Is it a wicked thing? Is it shameful? Is that why we do it out of sight?" Her voice trembled with despair and hunger, and he caught her face in his hand and turned her to look at him, and they were both bathed in the dim glow of their feral, crimson eyes.

"It is not a wicked thing and I could never be shamed by you," Kaname answered savagely, "It is a private thing. It is not a thing I would share."

"But the others feed -- "

"They are not us," he squeezed her shoulder tightly for a moment, then his hand relaxed and he repeated, "They are not us. Yuki, drink."

Kaname leaned back as he felt her hot, moist breath on his neck, felt the nervous touch of her tongue, then sighed faintly as he felt her bury her teeth in his neck. He could feel it, the the rhythm of his heartbeat pumping the hot coppery blood out of the two needle pricks on his carotid artery and into her mouth, could feel her lips and tongue on his neck as she struggled hungrily to swallow it all.

She always exhausted herself, the high tension of her consumption dissolving into a limp, trembling body that he held in his arms. When he held her like this, when she was spent, and he felt her warm breath on his chest, when she raised a weak hand to touch his face and asked him to drink, his own hands trembled as he brushed the hair back from her fine, slender neck and his teeth found their mark and he drank deeply, feeling her heart beat against him, feeling their hearts beating together, the blood in his mouth, staining his neck, burning in his veins.

"Yuki," he whispered huskily, dazed and lost in the moment when they were one beating heart and mixing blood.

"Kaname," she murmured, one hand on the pulse at his throat, "I love you."

"I know," he whispered back, his voice thready against the damp warmth of her neck, "Yuki."

-

And so the days tumbled by as they rode the rails between cities, sleeping -- or not sleeping -- in their cabins by day, and seeing the length and breadth of China by night. Yuki saw Taoist temples, Catholic churches, and Buddhist shrines, ate real dim sum and grass jelly, and saw a snow leopard and a wild Chinese tiger. Sometimes they went to zoos during the daytime, shaded by parasols, because she liked zoos, and while he made a fuss about not going to do something so silly, she discovered that Aido liked looking at the animals too, even when he was made to carry an over-large stuffed panda that she had admired. Kaname apparently liked anything she liked, liked anything that she thought of and considered that she might possibly like. If she thought of it, mentioned it, wondered about it, or considered it, then they did it. Through large and small cities they sojourned, until at last they came to Jinshanling to see the Great Wall storm up mountainsides and spill down the opposite slopes.

It was sunset, and she wore a coat with ruffles because it was deep winter. She kept her hands in a muff to keep them warm and walked with Kaname along the wall, looking at the stones and bricks that been laid to keep out invaders, laid by thousands of hands over hundreds of years.

"I think it's pretty amazing that human beings built this," she observed, "Even though it took so long, they kept building it and kept building it."

Kaname smiled briefly and was about to respond when he turned sharply. Seiren had appeared close behind him, kneeling and genuflective. Seiren did not disturb them unless it was necessary.

"My lord," she said, her head bowed. "I have not restrained him based on your last orders concerning such. He is advancing in this direction. What shall I do?"

Kaname turned away, his cloak billowing out around him and Yuki could not help but be troubled.

"Who is coming, Seiren?" she asked, but Seiren paid her no attention. Normally she was courteous to the Kuran princess, but at this moment she was intent on hearing the answer from her lord. If she was ordered to rip this man to shreds then she needed to be gone as soon as his death sentence was levied so that the lord and the princess would be spared the scene while on their holiday.

Kaname said nothing for a long moment, then at last made his pronouncement, "If he has no hostile intentions, then let him come."

"I don't have any hostile intentions," came the answer, curt and low and to the point, "Yet."

Yuki turned quickly, so that her boots lost their purchase and she would have fallen had Kaname not seized her around the waist to help her keep her balance. When she looked up she remembered neither to breathe nor to hold onto her muff, which fell to the ground and rolled until it came to rest at his feet.

Zero Kiryu.

Bloody Rose.

The Vampire Knight.

Zero.

-