Title: It begins now
Summery: After the scene in the room of the thousand fountains Qui Gon finds Obi Wan
Disclaimer: Characters and situations belong to George Lucas and Jude Watson
:Text from Secrets of the Jedi
BEWARE SECRETS OF THE JEDI SPOILERS!

Obi Wan could not have guessed how long he had sat, listening to the fountains sing their song. It was the same song as he had heard when he had entered, yet his ears couldn't fathom the normalacy. It was as if he were temporarily deafened.

Mechanically he rose to his feet, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. His featues that had been set in the mosaic of greif slowly unravelled until a blank, expressionless mask replaced it.

If Qui Gon and Yoda wanted him to be a Jedi knight then he would be a Jedi. He would do his duty.

It was all he knew.

/It begins now/ her words echoed horrifcally against the coldness of his mind, challanged the cold ice that had settled over his thoughts, tempted the regrowth of pain.

He had no idea what lay ahead of him once he left this room. He couldn't make out the next few hours, or days or the next mission. He was hollow.

Siri had been a spark in his life, someone who had fullfilled him. He had been a whole person for that one breif moment when he had believed they could be together.

His footsteps interupted the pleasant harmony of the water as he walked.

If he couldn't be a whole person then he would be a whole Jedi.

He remembered Siri's determination to look forward, he could do that. He could teach himself that.

The walls blurred together. In all his eighteen years, Obi Wan never felt older.

Qui Gon waited.
He knew Obi Wan would do the right thing. He didn't know how long Obi Wan and Siri would need to say goodbye. He was willing to wait.

The door opened and a mockery of his apprentice entered.
He stood, proffering and arm in invitation to talk but Obi Wan shrugged him off numbly.

"I don't want to talk he gritted out, his eyes reflecting moisture but not allowing them to form into tears.

"I did the right thing. I always do the right thing. That should make you happy"

Qui Gon's heart broke for his apprentice, it was as if were staring into a mirror of himself when the fact that Tahl had died had finally began to make sense to him.
'Oh Obi Wan, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry thing couldn't be different for you'

"If you need anything Padawan..."

"I don't" came Obi Wan's dull reply. Without asking, Obi Wan turned and walked to his quarters, the door slid shut quietly.

Qui Gon would have scolded him, but there was little of an apprentice to scold. Obi Wan was far too greif-stricken to listen and Qui Gon didn't have the heart to make it believable.

Tomorrow Obi Wan would wake, he would dress in his Jedi uniform and he would go to class and spar and listen to Qui Gon's instructions, his face would show nothing of his suffering.

But Qui Gon would wait, and offer silent support until his apprentice was ready.

Even if it took years.

End