Interview!
Starring,
Raoul De Changy
Christine Daae
And
The Phantom
With your host, Chelsea Gouin
Me: Welcome to Interview! With me, Chelsea Gouin. Today we will be interviewing characters of The Phantom of the Opera. First we're interviewing the guy with the funny side burns and huge nose. Yes, I'm talking about the Vicomte of Paris…Raoul De Changy! (Crowd goes crazy)
Me: Hey, welcome
Raoul: I'm very happy to be here (smiles widely)
Me: Um, yeah. So, what's up with you and supper?
R: What's wrong with supper?
Me: Nothing. You just seem to like it…a lot.
R: (shrugs) This is a stupid question. I'm not answering!
Me: (grumbles about arrogance) so, about you and Christine…
R: (perks up) yes?
Me: In the book, you're very persistent. She runs, you chase.
R: Have you ever heard her sing?
Me: Yeah, but I wouldn't go stalk the girl.
R: (glares) The Vicomte doesn't stalk.
Me: Sorry (glares back) so, what's the deal with those sideburns.
R: (surprised) I like my sideburns.
Me: (trying not to laugh) they're funny looking
R: (childishly) Don't make fun of them.
Me: (cracks up) they're backwards!
R: (pouting)
Me: We'll be back soon.
(Commercial)
Unknown Commercial guy: Drink Pepsi, the drink of the Phantom
(Show)
Me: Yes, we're back! We will now be interviewing (sigh) Christine Daae. (Crowd claps loudly)
Christine: (guzzles down last of Pepsi) Hello, hello.
Me: (cough) Um, welcome
C: Thanks; it's a pleasure meeting you.
Me: Yeah, let's start the questions.
C: Alright (smiles)
Me: How does it feel to be a backstabbing-
C: (clears throat) What, may I ask, are you talking about?
Me: (tries to smile) Erik? I mean you totally, emotionally stabbed him in the back!
C: (glaring) My love life is none of your business.
Me: Shut up! No one likes you; you're the least like character in the whole movie. I mean, Meg Giry comes before you.
C: I can't take this stress (storms out) I want my lawyer contacted. (Turns to Me) This isn't the last you've heard of Christine Daae!
Me: Let's cut to a commercial.
(Commercial)
Unknown guy: Hershey's-the chocolate that makes the Phantom smile.
(Show)
Me: Well we're back. Our next interview will be… (Gasp) The Phantom himself! (Crowd whispers, one or two claps)
Me: (excited/nervous) H-hello Mr. Phantom-sir.
Phantom: (nods head)
Me: So, um, how, uh, how are ya feeling?
P: (raises eyebrow) fine.
Me: Okay, that's good. You're kinda scary.
P: Am I suppose to respond?
Me: I guess not. How do you feel when you're killing people?
P: I feel pleased.
Me: Well that's good. I think your hott.
P: (stands up and walks off mumbling about a noose)
Me: Well next-
(Kristi walks in)
Me: It's my friend Kristi! Hi Kwissie!
K: Chelsea…what are you doing?
Me: This is my T.V show, Interview!
K: Chelsea…we're in your basement…(notices Hershey's wrapper and empty Pepsi can) Chelsea! You know that when you combine the power of Hershey's chocolate and Pepsi's cola you start seeing things.
Me: But the Phantom…he was HERE!
K: Come on, you need help. (Drags Me off.)