Touhou vs. Dora the Explorer
"It is time for you to pay what you have done, no one gives my mistress false directions," said Sakuya. "No, please don't, I beg of you" said MAP. "I don't care, even if you beg a thousand times, I am never going to spare your life" said Sakuya. "Please…nooo!" yelled MAP, before being torn into many pieces of paper, making him nothing more than regular garbage to be recycled.
Just at that time, Remilia stepped out of the phase shift that Patchouli had created for her. She was running down the road when she ran into a blue and yellow colored monkey. "Sorry about that, my name is Boots" said the monkey. Remilia paused, she remembered that Sakuya had said something about this being the creature she had to kill. She raised Laevateinn, and smote it upon the ground. Suddenly, massive fissures opened up, revealing boiling pits of lava. Boots lost his balance, tripped, and fell down one of the pits. He managed to, however, grab a rock on the way down, and held there for a minute before Remilia slammed the staff again, causing Boots to fall into the molten lava. She stepped back into the phase shift to find Sakuya.
Dora entered, brandishing Backpack in her arm, and, suddenly, Backpack glowed, transforming into a Fairy Princess of Light wand. "You shall pay" said Dora. "Sorry, little girl, I have no change on me" said Sakuya. Dora attacked, slashing madly with the wand. Sakuya moved from side to side, causing Dora to miss every time. As she continued this fatal dance, Patche stepped out of another phase shift and fired a bolt of lightning at the wand. It shattered, and disintegrated, turning to dust, before falling to the ground in a pile. "Noo…" said Dora. "Now, you are finally mine" said a voice out of nowhere. Dora whirled around, just as Remilia stepped out of her phase shift, and, with one quick motion, sliced Dora's head cleanly off her body. "Yes, the end of that show and the stupid Backpack song" yelled Patche. "Huzzah" said Remilia.
Suddenly, a great chasm opened in the sky, and the Explorer stars burst out. They started to whirl around each other, going faster and faster, whipping up a great whirlwind of color, until finally a great blast of multicolored lightning fired toward Remilia. But, as they fired, Sakuya stopped time, and Patche redirected the blast to kill the stars. The Touhou Project wins. Hah. END.