AN: Have you missed me? :)
Still riding on the high of Breaking Dawn and the soundtrack (and particularly this song) here's a little something. It's unbeta'd and sappy as can be. And Rated T! My first!
"Turning Page" is by Sleeping at Last.
Turning Page
They say a bride is always nervous on her wedding day.
As I stand before the full-length mirror, I know – deep in my soul – that my nerves have nothing to do with cold feet. It has nothing to do with my fears of marrying too young or pledging my life to the wrong man. My anxiety comes from a place of nervous anticipation and an overwhelming desire to see my future husband.
Husband.
I'd never given much thought to the word. Growing up, the words husband and wife weren't uttered with sweetness; however, since the moment Edward had placed his mother's ring on my finger, he's been calling me his future wife at every opportunity, and it is always said with the deepest reverence.
That was another source of my anxiety – his absolute adoration of me and the idea of me becoming his wife. I have no frame of reference as to what constitutes a good wife. Renee is a great mom, but I'm not so sure she was such a great wife, just as Charlie wasn't that great of a husband. If I needed tips on how to be a good parent, I'd happily use them for inspiration. But I'm not about to become a mother. That will never happen. But I am minutes away from becoming a wife.
A wife.
"Bella?"
I focus in the mirror to find Renee standing behind me. Her dress is beautiful deep lavender and her eyes are swollen red.
"You look so pretty," I tell her, and she smiles.
"And you…." Her voice falters as she fingers the satin of the dress. "You're…."
She dissolves into tears, and I quickly blink my own away.
"No, no," Mom says, pulling a tissue out of her pocket and gently dabbing at my cheek. "Alice was so right about the pockets in this dress. She said I'd need them for Kleenex. I think I'll need a box before this day is over."
Giggling, I place my hand in hers as she pulls me over to the bed. I'm careful not to wrinkle my dress as we face each other.
"Alice said you might be nervous."
"I am."
"I've seen him," Mom grins. "He's so handsome, Bella."
I can't keep from smiling. Of course he is.
"You're happy," my mom marvels.
"And nervous."
"Why?"
"Aren't all brides nervous on their wedding day?"
"Usually," Mom nods slightly. "Having doubts?"
"None at all," I reply emphatically. "Not about Edward, at least."
She waits patiently for me to continue, and I take a deep breath. I can tell my mom anything.
"What if I'm not a good wife? What if he's disappointed?"
Renee seems surprised. "Disappointed in you?"
I nod.
"Oh, honey," Mom whispers, her eyes welling with tears. "Do you truly have no idea how much he loves you?"
"Of course I do."
"I don't know that you do," she says softly. "Edward and I had a lovely chat earlier. It was very important to him to speak to me. He knows how close we are, and he wanted to calm any fears I might have about the two of you marrying so young."
"You'd always told me to wait until I was older," I remind her.
"I did, and that was unfair of me," Mom says. "You are not me. Edward is not your father. I loved Charlie, and he loved me. But Bella, it was a different love than what you share. Remember when the two of you visited down in Florida? Remember the things I said?"
"I move, he moves," I whisper, and she nods.
"It's a type of love I've never experienced, not even with Phil," Mom says. "Don't get me wrong. We are deeply in love with each other, but Bella, trust me when I say there's something…otherworldly about the love you two share. Does that make sense?"
I'm speechless. Could she possibly know?
"You can blame it on my wild, romantic imagination if you like," Mom grins at me, "but I don't think you fully comprehend how much he worships you. The way he watches your every move, the way he simply looks at you, and the smile on his handsome face anytime you speak, or giggle, or blush, or blink…"
Her finger dances along the diamonds of his mother's ring.
"You could never be a disappointment to him," Mom says soothingly. "He is so deliriously happy in this moment. The only moment that will possibly top it is when he sees you, in that dress, walking down the aisle toward him. That will be the happiest moment of his life, only to be replaced when you recite your vows."
"And when we say 'I do'," I whisper.
Renee smiles brightly through her tears.
"Are you ready?"
And I know that I am.
Today, I thought I'd be the strong one.
I had no idea she'd have to be strong for me.
The satin clings to her, unforgiving in its shape and beautiful in its simplicity. Her eyes are bright and wide, and the sweetest crimson blush creeps across her cheek as her father leads her down the aisle.
I've imagined this moment, of course. Dreamed of this vision since the moment I knew she was mine, and that I was hers. But I wasn't prepared for this ache. The aisle is too long, and she is too far away, clutching her father's arm and gazing down as she walks.
I need her here. I need her beside me.
She raises her head, and our eyes lock. The sweetest smile crosses her pink lips, and my knees nearly buckle.
I knew she'd be hauntingly beautiful. I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for is the overwhelming sense of complete and perfect happiness upon seeing her make her way to me. The sensation flows through me, reaching the deepest recesses of my heart and soul that have been dead for far too long.
Her eyes never leave mine, not even when Charlie places her hand against my palm. She gives my fingers a squeeze, and I find my strength in her deep brown eyes. I find my strength in her fragile heart, and suddenly, realization dawns like lightning in the sky.
I'd struggled for a century, trying desperately to find my place… my purpose…my reason for being who I am, and now I knew.
I had been living for her.
Every single second of my existence had been in anticipation of her. Perhaps it had been a divine plan. God himself knew that one lifetime with her wouldn't be enough, and so he gave us forever.
For the first time in over a century, my purpose was clear.
To be hers.
Until the end of time.
I am contributing a one-shot to the FGB compilation, and I am up for auction! You can bid on me, and I'll write basically anything you want. The bidding is a little crazy, so don't feel obligated. I just wanted to make you aware. :) Details are on my profile and on my blog. There are several authors listed, so check them out. :) Bidding ends tonight.
For those who have asked, the book is coming along very well. Every writing moment is devoted to it, but this song has been playing on a loop in my head, and I needed to write this. Hope you enjoyed it!
Happy Thanksgiving!