Disclaimer: You all know the drill. Sadly, I own nothing.

A/N: SLASH; don't like, don't read. This will be told in alternating first-person. The title is explained in the summary. And I shall put this as I always do: no flames please, though constructive criticism is welcome. That being said, enjoy!

The Best Proof

"Games are a compromise between intimacy and keeping intimacy away."

-Eric Berne

Chapter 1 - Clark

It had sort of…well…hit me one day.

Actually, that's putting it mildly. It had crashed into me like a Mac truck.

What was strange about it was that it wasn't the realization that I felt these things that hit me. It was the realization that I had felt these things for some time and had not noticed them. Without seeing that I was doing so, I had simply accepted them as mundane. As something to be expected.

The time it occurred to me had been so…so normal that for a moment, the revelation had escaped my attention. There was nothing life-altering about the situation. It wasn't as though Lex had been dangling over the edge of some cliff and the knowledge that I was about to lose him had spurred me to an epiphany. Which was odd, considering I had found myself in such scenarios before.

No. No, it ran deeper than sudden desperation.

And it scared the shit out of me.

Because I had no defenses against this. No immunity to emotional pain or euphoria. And I had no experience with it.

Oh sure, there was Lana. One could make that argument. One could also compare a light bulb to the sun.

And I had been sitting in Lex's study at the manor, simply catching up on Trig homework when the sun had suddenly blazed into my eyes.

He had been playing pool with himself. ("You're not much of a challenge. This way, you see, I'm always in suspense over who's going to win.")

If someone had entered the room that afternoon, they would have wondered what the point of my being there really was. It would have appeared as though we were each completely ignoring the other.

I was thinking this at the time and sort of smiling about it. At the fact that we didn't really need to talk to simply enjoy the other's presence. That we were just…comfortable. That despite the deceit that plagued me and bothered him at times as well, this was the one person I didn't have to play games with. That I was actually just Clark with. And that was nice.

I thought of Lana that afternoon. About how, even though it wasn't her fault, my relationship with her was, and always had been one long game.

And it was when I noticed that I had logged my girlfriend and my best friend away in the same category that I discovered something had changed. Or that perhaps nothing had changed and I was just stupid.

Yes. That was it. I was stupid.

It had always been there. We would have these…moments. And I had sort of thought "okay, this is how I feel around Lex" or "this is who I am around Lex". I didn't stop to think about how the person I was around him was so much better than the person I was with other people. I had never counted it as strange that I would rather be just walking up his driveway than be home, or at the Talon or anywhere else for that matter because it was just the way things were. He was just my favorite person and I had never stopped to ask myself why.

So when that aforementioned "why" Mac truck came barreling at me, I guess you could say I was a little unnerved.

"Clark?"

And he was staring at me, leaning over the pool table; cue still in position and concern lacing his gaze. He straightened completely when I didn't respond.

"Hey, you okay?'

I swallowed and managed to nod at this. But it must not have been enough to negate the look I'm sure was on my face because he set down the cue and crossed to the couch I was seated on. "You sure? You look a little sick."

Part of me wanted to seize this presented excuse, as any of my friends knew I was prone to sudden bouts of nausea (Pete being the only one who actually knew why). The other half of me wasn't really coherent enough at the time to make up a good lie.

"I'm sure."

Yeah, I'm sure. Sure that I'll never be okay again.

"So I was thinking I would do the whole 'write what you know' thing and do a piece about small town life. Assuming it doesn't come off hokey or generic, in which case I'll have to change my entire premise, 'cause-Clark, have you heard a word I've said?"

My eyes had been fixed on the glob of cafeteria macaroni and cheese that sat suspended on Chloe's fork and not on her face. I guess she noticed.

I shook my head and raised my gaze to her, too tired to glare at Pete for snickering. "Yeah. Yeah, sure. Small town life. Great idea."

She was observing me; this appraising look on her face and she jabbed her fork at me, indicating my own inscrutable expression. "I haven't seen you this distracted since freshman year when you used to watch Lana and Whitney from across the lunch room. Is that what this is about? Are you Lana deprived already? Geez Clark, she's only been gone since yesterday."

I couldn't exactly tell her that I had actually been relieved when Lana had announced her trip to visit Nell in Metropolis.

"Just for a few days," she had told me. "I'll study for finals up there and then when I get back, you and I will have some free time together."

My joy at the prospect of some time for introspection had been erased by the idea of quality time together upon her return. It would be harder to hide my unease from her because it was about her.

"A guy is entitled to miss his girlfriend when she's gone, right man?"

I gave Pete a halfhearted smile. "Yeah," I agreed.

"Listen, Clark, we have to get together after school, don't forget," Chloe said, changing the subject rather abruptly and returning to her half-eaten lunch.

I lifted my chin from my palm and gave her my attention at this. "Why?"

She looked at me again, possibly trying to discern whether or not I was kidding. "You are out of it. Torch? New issue? We gotta review it, remember? Any of this ringing a bell?"

"Oh, yeah," I pinched the bridge of my nose and then progressed to running my fingers through my hair. "I can't Chlo."

"Why not?"

I glanced back and forth between their expectant faces, trying to think how to word it without severely pissing Chloe off. "Well, I have some chores to do and then I'm uh…supposed to go to Lex's."

"Again? Clark, you know Thursday's are Torch days."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, but we can do it tomorrow, can't we?"

I knew we could. Chloe knew we could. But I could tell she didn't want to relent and support my new slacker life style. Her eyes lowered back to her food in submission. "Yeah, I guess."

She was pretty quiet the rest of our lunch period. And I wanted to explain to her why I didn't want to reschedule my casual plans with Lex. Or at least somehow assure her that it wasn't because the billionaire was taking hers or Pete's place in my life.

No, he seemed to be taking Lana's.

And before she returned, I was kind of hoping to get a little more insight into what it was all about. It was the only way I could face her when she came back.

I just needed a new strategy before our big game started up again.

More soon! Cookies for all the lovely reviewers!