"If we shadows have offended,
think but this; and all is mended
that you have but slumbered here
while these visions did appear."
William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream
TG: i miss dreaming
TG: real dreams
TG: back before this fucking game
TG: when you could actually fall asleep
TG: and be asleep
TG: no dream self
TG: no derse
TG: no horrorterrors in the sky
TG: just
TG: crazy shit
TG: some crazy ridiculous story
TG: that you never even knew where it came from
TG: just appearing all around you
TG: and not even caring
TG: it was all cool
TG: everything making total sense
TG: hey puppet bro
TG: of course ill go with you to the moon
TG: why wouldnt i help you out little dude
TG: and then youd wake up
TG: wondering what all the fuck that meant
TG: well
TG: lalonde said it all meant dicks
TG: but thats just lalonde
TG: but
TG: the best part
TG: the best part was the waking up
TG: and remembering what life was actually like
TG: no crazy puppet bro putting pressure on you about this moon business
TG: just
TG: life
TG: i guess
TG: and
TG: it didnt matter
TG: you could dream anything
TG: something different any night
TG: but it never mattered
TG: you could be whatever you wanted in a dream
TG: whatever the dream wanted
TG: but once you woke up
TG: it made no difference
TG: life kept being the same
TG: lalonde kept saying it all meant dicks
TG: the world wouldnt have ended when you were asleep
TG: i think
TG: i kind of miss that
…
CG: I HAVE LITERALLY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.
CG: WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO ME.
TG: look
TG: im fucking bored
TG: and noone else is answering
TG: so lets you and me talk karkles
CG: WHAT
CG: DONT EVEN
CG: WHY WOULD I EVEN TALK TO YOU ANYWAY.
CG: IM BUSY HERE.
CG: I HAVE LOTS OF THINGS I HAVE TO DO.
CG: IMPORTANT STUFF.
TG: right
TG: thats why you just sat and listened to me for like ten minutes
TG: because you have better stuff to do
CG: I THOUGHT I SHOULD TRY YOUR HUMAN COURTESY.
CG: ALTHOUGH CLEARLY THATS AN ALIEN CONCEPT TO YOU.
TG: im not even going to point out
TG: that an alien
TG: just told me
TG: a human
TG: that human concepts are alien to me
TG: i am merely going to say
TG: that you should give it up
TG: we got out of the session
TG: there are no more imps
TG: nothing is trying to kill us
TG: the time of knights is over bro
TG: now the seers and maids and whatever get to do their shit
TG: while we
TG: are bored
CG: I AM NOT BORED.
TG: really
TG: you should try it
TG: after the last few days
TG: its a fucking relief
CG: IF I WANTED BOREDOM
CG: CLEARLY YOU'RE THE RIGHT PERSON TO TALK TO.
TG: just keep telling yourself that
TG: i know it wont matter
TG: you say youre listening for the boredom
TG: but as long as youre listening
TG: you cannot help but be blinded by the legendary strider wit
CG: LEGENDARY BRILLIANCE.
CG: YOU WERE RAMBLING ABOUT DREAMS.
CG: IVE SEEN MORE COHERENT BLOOD STAINS.
CG: EGBERT'S SALAMANDER IS WITTIER THAN YOU.
TG: whatever
TG: you know im right
TG: dreams were better before
TG: fuck
TG: you know what
TG: i dont have a dream self any more
TG: i resurrected from it
TG: does that mean i dream normally again now
TG: or do i just not dream any more
CG: HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW.
TG: i guess i could fall asleep and find out
TG: but
TG: maybe later
TG: i mean
TG: we still dont know whats going to happen
CG: I DONT RECOMMEND IT
TG: or maybe i should
TG: while nothings happening
TG: because when we arrive
TG: i mean
TG: wherever
TG: i might not get a chance
CG: YOU AREN'T EVEN READING THIS ARE YOU.
TG: i guess
TG: derse has kind of been fucking with us
TG: since forever
TG: lil cal was there
TG: so maybe thats why i kept dreaming of him
TG: and now hes gone
TG: so maybe the dreams will be better
CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE THIS IN LOVE WITH YOUR OWN VOICE.
TG: but
TG: perhaps derse has always been messing up my dreams
TG: theyve never been normal ones
TG: and now im going to have normal dreams
TG: right after this game
TG: which is basically some whole crazy trauma jackpot
TG: so
TG: probably not a good thing
CG: LISTEN TO ME YOU EGOTISTICAL BASTARD.
CG: DREAMS ARE FUCKED UP.
TG: like how
CG: HAVE YOU SHUT UP NOW.
CG: BCAUSE I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD.
TG: this is a conversation
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
CG: LOOK.
CG: FIRST OF ALL I WASN'T ON PROSPIT.
CG: SO I DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT DERSE.
CG: AND I DIDN'T ACTUALLY WAKE UP UNTIL FAIRLY LATE.
CG: SO I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT PROSPIT EITHER.
CG: ALL I KNOW IS WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE A DEAD DREAM SELF.
CG: AND IN THAT CASE
CG: SLEEP IS A FUCKING TERRIBLE IDEA.
CG: TRUST ME ON THAT.
CG: IS YOUR DREAM SELF DEAD?
TG: …
CG: IT'S NOT THAT HARD A QUESTION.
TG: well
TG: there were like four time loop mes running around
TG: but the last one chronologically got shot
TG: jades bullets noirs space warping
TG: jade kissed me and i woke up on derse
TG: we flew the moon of derse into the furthest ring
TG: and blew it up
TG: but we were on our quest beds
TG: so we ascended i guess
TG: so i guess my dream self is me
TG: and im alive
TG: unless god tier doesnt count
TG: you tell me
CG: THATS RIDICULOUS.
CG: HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO FUCK THIS GAME UP BADLY ENOUGH THAT IT BECAME MORE COMPLICATED THAN IT NORMALLY IS.
CG: GOD TIER COUNTS AS ALIVE DUMBASS.
CG: NO DEAD DREAM SELF.
CG: NO HORRORTERRORS FOR YOU.
CG: EXCEPT IN THE FURTHEST FUCKING RING.
CG: WHICH YOU WILLINGLY CHOSE TO VISIT.
TG: i did what i had to
TG: you know what this game is like
TG: so what does happen
CG: I.
CG: DON'T.
CG: FUCKING.
CG: KNOW.
CG: ITS NOT LIKE ANY OF US MANAGED TO DO ANY OF THAT.
CG: LET ALONE ALL OF IT.
CG: JUST ABOUT ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN.
TG: so im all set for normal dreams
TG: well thats something
CG: LOOK
CG: WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT DREAMS ANYWAY.
CG: IS THIS SOME STUPID HUMAN THING.
CG: IT MAKES NO SENSE SO I'M GUESSING YES.
CG: ITS NOT LIKE THIS GAME HASN'T PROVIDED ENOUGH BLOOD AND DEATH.
CG: DO YOU REALLY NEED MORE WHEN YOU SLEEP.
TG: dude
TG: dreams dont normally have blood and death
TG: well
TG: some dreams dont
TG: i guess most of them
TG: although after this game
TG: probably quite a lot
TG: most of them in fact
CG: RIGHT NOW YOU ARE MAKING PERFECT SENSE.
CG: I AM THRILLED AND AMAZED TO HEAR SUCH LOGICAL THOUGHT PROCESSES RECORDED FOR MY AMUSEMENT.
TG: so you finally grasped the human emotion of sarcasm then
CG: NO.
TG: whatever
TG: human dreams are complicated
TG: what are troll dreams like
CG: TROLLS WHO FALL ASLEEP AWAY FROM SOPOR SLIME DREAM OF UTTER CARNAGE AND DESTRUCTION
CG: WHICH IS WHY YOU SLEEP IN A RECUPERACOON
CG: WHAT STUPID WAY HAVE HUMANS MANAGED TO SCREW THAT UP
TG: humans dream about everything
TG: all kinds of shit
TG: mostly shit that doesnt make sense
TG: but
TG: its a little like waking up your dream self
TG: you fall asleep and youre somewhere else
TG: but it isnt really happening
TG: it cant affect you
TG: dream self cant die
TG: get a new one every night
TG: you just dream youre doing whatever
TG: and when you wake up it doesnt matter
TG: and you can forget all about it
CG: THAT
CG: ISN'T ACTUALLY A TERRIBLE IDEA.
TG: well sometimes it kind of is
TG: you dont get to choose your dreams
TG: sometimes theres all kinds of scary shit
TG: but sometimes
TG: its awesome
CG: SO WHAT DETERMINES THE CONTENT OF THESE VARIABLE DREAMS.
TG: i dont know
TG: whatever youve been thinking of
TG: dicks or whatever
TG: you just have to go to sleep and see
TG: but stuff that you know
TG: like
TG: well
CG: WHAT.
TG: i always used to dream of lil cal
TG: because he was always around
TG: except
TG: i woke up on derse and he was there
TG: right by me
TG: so
TG: what if ive always been dreaming of derse
TG: like jade was always dreaming of prospit
TG: just not realising it
TG: so maybe im not the right person to ask
CG: HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT.
TG: well dreams
TG: you dont always remember them
TG: the normal ones
TG: you forget things
TG: so maybe i kept forgetting
TG: that it was always the same place
TG: maybe i spent my whole life forgetting
CG: LOOK
CG: WHILE I ADMIT THIS GAME HAS A TENDENCY TO TURN OUT TO HAVE BEEN AFFECTING US FOR FAR LONGER THAN WE BELIEVED POSSIBLE
CG: WOULDN'T YOU HAVE NOTICED.
TG: i dont know
TG: how do you know the same didnt happen to you
TG: you always slept in a recuperacoon
TG: so you didnt dream
TG: maybe
TG: if youd tried it
TG: you would have dreamt of the game
TG: not the blood and death and whatever
CG: I FAIL TO SEE HOW I WOULD HAVE NOTICED THE DIFFERENCE.
TG: oh snap
TG: i bet the universe is reeling from that one
TG: the entire game itself
TG: desperately searching for a comeback
TG: to that sick burn
TG: you should have seen derse man
TG: or prospit or whatever
TG: you would know
TG: it wasnt like the rest of this game
TG: no imps or crazy death
TG: it was
TG: pretty cool
CG: ITS CHEERS ME IMMENSELY TO KNOW THAT THE BEST PART OF THIS GAME IS SOMETHING I WILL NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE.
TG: hey
TG: dont get snappy
TG: im sure one of your friends could show you prospit
TG: if you visit their dream bubble sometime
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS A DREAM BUBBLE.
TG: out in the furthest ring
TG: if you dont want to hang with the horrorterrors
TG: there are these dream bubbles
TG: theyre just like human dreams
TG: you think youre in a memory
TG: but when you work it out
TG: you can change what happens
TG: i heard real dreams work like that too
TG: if you know youre dreaming you can control the dream
TG: maybe i should try that
TG: if i ever manage a normal dream
TG: i dont know
TG: maybe i should try it
TG: do you think i can fall asleep in a dream bubble
CG: HOW SHOULD I KNOW.
TG: well
TG: i could try it and see
CG: WHAT.
TG: were in one now
TG: i cant believe that took you so long
CG: WAIT.
CG: I'M DREAMING.
CG: STUPID HUMAN STYLE DREAMS.
CG: SO WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
TG: you just rolled up to the furthest ring on an asteroid
TG: like half a dozen of you
TG: youd passed out
TG: i dont blame you
TG: there was kind of a lot of blood
CG: FUCK.
CG: I REMEMBER NOW.
CG: SOLLUX.
CG: IS HE OKAY.
TG: he seemed fine to me
CG: OKAY.
CG: GOOD.
TG: i mean
TG: he died
TG: but he knew that was going to happen
TG: and his ghost is pretty cool
CG: FUCK.
CG: THAT IS NOT OKAY.
CG: HE'S DEAD YOU DICK.
CG: HOW IS THAT IN ANY WAY OKAY.
TG: look
TG: take it from me
TG: being dead isnt all that bad
TG: if it doesnt stick
TG: i mean
TG: the dying part sucks
TG: but you dont so much mind the being dead
CG: SAYS THE GUY ON GOD TIER
CG: ITS NOT THE SAME THING
TG: whatever
TG: so you pretty much passed out
TG: and we met up with your friends
TG: and they were all going to try and contact jade and john
TG: but there was a troll chick to handle the time stuff
CG: ARADIA.
CG: BUT.
CG: SHE DIED.
TG: as i keep saying
TG: it didnt stick
TG: shes god tier now
TG: so she and rose are trying to talk to the others
TG: and this glowing girl
CG: KANAYA.
TG: told me to
TG: Keep You Company
TG: and the dead dude
CG: SOLLUX.
TG: said to tell you
TG: get s0me rest n0w
TG: because whenever they talk to jade
TG: some serious shit is going to go down
CG: FUCK.
CG: I HAVE TO WAKE UP.
CG: TELL ME HOW TO GET BACK TO THEM.
TG: no way
TG: they said you need to sleep
CG: STRIDER.
CG: I WILL FUCKING END YOU.
TG: vantas
TG: i dont fucking care
CG: WHAT IS WITH YOU.
CG: I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOME CRAZY COOLKID.
CG: I MEAN.
CG: TEREZI SEEMED TO LIKE YOU.
CG: ALTHOUGH SHE HAS TERRIBLE TASTE.
TG: we both know you are lying right there
CG: I MEAN IN FRIENDS.
CG: OBVIOUSLY SHES PRETTY HOT WITH THE LITERAL FLAVOUR THING.
TG: look
TG: strider is cool
TG: thats just a fact
TG: its a thing that will not ever be not true
TG: but
TG: its been a long day
TG: a long fucking game
TG: and
TG: i fucked it all up
TG: you know the tumour
CG: YES.
CG: I FUCKING CREATED THE TUMOUR.
CG: YOU WERE GOING TO DESTROY THE GREEN SUN WITH IT.
TG: well
TG: that was the plan
TG: turns out
TG: our information wasnt that great
TG: the tumour wasnt just a bomb
TG: it was a bomb fuelled by two universes
TG: our two universes
TG: the ones we come from
TG: but we exploded it anyway
TG: because we thought it would stop jack
TG: destroy his power source
TG: except
TG: we wound up creating it
TG: and afterwards
TG: we were trapped inside it
TG: for quite a long time
TG: i think
TG: maybe a very long time
TG: it was very green
TG: and hot
TG: very very hot
TG: basically
TG: what you would expect
TG: from a green sun
TG: and when we came out again
TG: there were some trolls waiting for us
TG: and then you guys arrived
TG: except
TG: a lot of you were dead already
TG: and youd passed out
TG: and terezi got bitten or something
TG: and shes kind of zoned out all the time now
TG: and the glowing chick only wanted to talk to rose
TG: and the other dude
TG: was weird
TG: like
TG: seriously
TG: and
TG: i kind of needed
TG: to go somewhere else
TG: so i offered to come find you
CG: …
TG: this is the part where you say something
CG: WHY.
CG: WHY COME AND FIND ME.
TG: i dont know
TG: because
TG: i figured
TG: things might be better here
TG: in a dream bubble
TG: whatever
CG: SO.
CG: IF I CAN HAVE WHATEVER DREAMS I WANT HERE.
CG: WHAT KIND OF HUMAN DREAMS ARE THERE.
TG: i dont know
TG: anything
TG: literally the craziest shit you can imagine
TG: i mean
TG: this might all be a dream
TG: for all i know
TG: ill wake up and tell rose and shell have a field day
TG: therell be dicks left right and centre
TG: but
TG: i guess probably it isnt
TG: im not this messed up in the head
TG: i think
TG: probably
TG: but
TG: theres all kinds of dreams
TG: i heard
TG: a lot of people dream of flying
TG: i could fly
TG: on derse
TG: it was fun
CG: I THINK.
CG: MAYBE.
CG: FLYING IS SOMETHING WE COULD DO.
CG: WE COULD FLY.
CG: RIGHT NOW.