AN: Hey there! I totally forgot about this account…yeah. So you can guess and use your common sense to see that I haven't written in A LONG TIME. Please, this would be my third fan fic but I deleted everything; all my stories, favs, and alerts. The meaning of this is so I could start anew but apparently I kind of…forgot to? That's my only excuse and a pretty lame one at that. Anyways, please review. Technically this is my first fic so I would really like your input on this PREFACE. I would also like to inform all of you that I'm a quick updater, have plot, and just restarted so pardon me if this is rustic.

Disclaimer: Uh. No shit. I'm writing fan fiction for a reason… cause I'm sure as hell I don't own this.

Warning: Rated M for a reason (in later chapters duh), HAS PLOT (isn't PWP), AU, OOC (a lot…), Lemons/Limes, Pedophilia (only mentioned), and YAOI. :P

ENJOY! R&R PLEASE!

Preface:

Bittersweet Memories

Almost everyone thinks I'm insane, diabolical, revolting or gay. I mean, they treat me like I'm some sort of worthless piece of trash they found lying on the side of the road. I can't believe I used to be my father's legacy, my mother's little boy. He was proud of me. She was happy. But the jubilation in my life seems to have permanently torn itself away from me. I fell like I'm against the whole planet, me against the bitter cold world that doesn't like giving out second chances to thirteen year old boys that lacks innocence.

How did everything fall apart? The answer is a man named Beyond Birthday. If you put one and two together like how we spent every conscious and unconscious second together, or the fact that he was a bit too old, being seventeen and all, to be hanging out with a thirteen year old boy for such long periods of times. With no one around, leaving others to questions with some very… provocative answers because he wasn't my babysitter at all. Quite the opposite really, we were lovers.

How it started? I guess it was when I was a child. Ever since I could remember we would always play board games together; chess, checkers, and our favorite was monopoly. But, no one questioned back then why such a young boy was with a boy that was a "big kid" since I was five and he was ten. Especially when you take in to consideration the fact that I was always exceedingly more mature than the other children my age. This had been the case with both of us all our lives; exceeding the norm in looks, maturity, and knowledge.

But, all in all, I think our romantic relationship began when it was my ninth birthday. He had given me many strange looks that started since about a month prior to that particular birthday and we spoke a lot less back then. He had also been ignoring me or avoiding long conversations. He also denied every invitation I gave him to come over.

Beyond had been my only friend. No matter how much I tried to interact with the children my age it just didn't work out. They didn't understand what I was saying and they kept calling me a nerd. It hurt a little but it was a lot more annoying to deal with kids. I wanted to see Beyond's all knowing smirk, bright red eyes and his crazy raven hair.

Well, that whole particular month passed like that every day until my birthday. My mother insisted on having a party, fully knowing I didn't get along with any kids I knew except for the fourteen year old "big kid" that lived across the street from us, Beyond Birthday.

My parents had never taken a liking to Beyond; his obnoxious attitude with elders won him a lot of disfavors, the way he carried himself in all black with hints of red made many think he was some sort of vandal, and the way he seemed to treat me like a treasure made a lot of people disturbed at the sudden change in persona. Particularly, my parents because of my mother's protective nature and my father's "Police Instinct".

I told my mother to cancel the party because I just wasn't in the mood to deal with any of those closed minded good for nothings. And that they were annoying. She gaped at me as I slammed the door in her face.

I breathed in and closed my eyes before I turned, my back to the door, sliding to the floor in exhaustion and irritation. As I heard footsteps that lead away from my room and a door slam I sighed and opened my eyes… to find Beyond on my bed, laid out on his back instead of his regular crouch position. That never happened.

"Happy birthday Light, I got you three presents this year. Come," he sat back up in a regular position of sitting that every other human used on regular basis and patted the area next to him. I sat down and looked at my present forgetting all our problems that we had in the past month. Just forgetting them completely and focusing on how he was looking at me. It was one of admiration and love. I didn't understand back then what it was but I liked how he looked at me and smiled at me. He looked so beautiful and happy. We looked at each other like that for an unprecedented amount of time before he looked away and gave me an oval shaped box lined in red velvet.

"Go ahead, open it," he encouraged. With a snapping noise, the box opened and revealed a beautiful silver charm bracelet with a gothic font styled letter B hanging off of one of the ringlets. It was encrusted with black and white diamonds all over it. But, then I felt guilty, "Oh my god. How much did this cost? Wow, umm I think this will take a long time to pay back so-""No. don't pay me back," he cut me off. "Whatever you say, B. So, one present down two to go Beyond," he laughed, it sounded like heaven's choir. "My second gift has already been delivered. I gave up crouching because it's one of your pet peeves. Happy birthday Light," I gaped at him. "Wow, really?" "Yes really. Does Light want to know what the third and final present is?" he smirked knowingly at my curiosity. I nodded curtly, "Then close your eyes." I did as I was told. I couldn't see anything as he took my hand and held it in his lovingly. I grasped his hand in return. Feeling cold lips upon my cheek frightened me, making me jump but I didn't ask him to stop as he kissed my jaw-line with a smile on his lips.

"Are you sure you want to know what the third present is?" Without a second thought or any reluctance, I answered him, "Yes… kiss me Beyond." I gave him permission, consent, approbation. And he took it. His lips met mine and it gave me a feeling of belonging. Consciously, I kissed back with the same amount of force as he had and the same smile he wore on his face. He stopped the kiss quite abruptly as I opened my eyes, I saw why.

There, at the door, stood my mother in disgust and utter shock. Her mouth was as wide as it could possibly be and a hand was clasped in front of it. The brown eyes upon her slightly aged face where quite near popping out of their sockets.

Damn was I in trouble or what? I still remember that day as if it were yesterday. Seriously, the woman almost smacked me across the face. If it wasn't for B I would've had the red mark that he had across his face for weeks on end. He took a hit for me. And that was definitely not the last time either.

For some reason, she didn't tell dad that day. Thank god. If he would've found out that our relationship had gone on for much longer than he initially thought, I'm almost one-hundred percent positive that he would've had a heart attack. Truly, I think the reason why my mother never said a word about that day is because she was wickedly frightened by my father. To a point where it was an extreme, I would say. I know he would have started to bellow at her like she was some kind of defenseless creature, which she was, and blame her for the whole deal. I would be horrified of him too if it wasn't for B who taught me to fear no one, trust few and fool many. This was sick logic that was, all be it depressing, true.

Did that make me proud? Of course it did! Had to be or else I would feel some sense of shame. And I must admit, I am a bit too proud of myself. Well, not my reputation but my appearance is very attractive. I knew that most people were disgusted by pedophiles but that wasn't the case for us. I believed he was as deeply in love as I."You are so alluring Light." B said it himself one too many times over the years while Sayu and the parents just oh so conveniently happened to be out of the house and he "slept over". Ah, the Good Old Days. But, that era as seized to exist, since my father finally started to notice some "seriously drastic changes" in his "little boy". More like: "I finally got more time off due to the fucked up economic system so I have to be home. Whoa! Why is Light wearing all black now and hanging out with Beyond Birthday? Weird…he's like seventeen…" and that's when he started restricting me a lot on the way I dressed. I must admit I was trying to copy B's style because it suited him so perfectly…

Every birthday, until I was thirteen, it was the same exchange; he would add a new charm to my bracelet, we hung out at my house or on the doorsteps of the orphanage he lived in and we just talked or kissed. He was an orphan with no recollection of his parents and he didn't even know if that was his real name. Once, he told me that he was or might be English and that apparently he had a brother back in England but he didn't know where to start looking… or even the guy's name. Surprisingly, his so called "brother" had given him a bottomless bank account when he turned sixteen and that he wrote him a letter. Apparently, this man is loaded and was wondering if he could take Beyond in or if they could meet up or something. He was ecstatic and he couldn't wait to meet Lawliet.

I tried to be excited for him but we had been together since I was nine and I had no idea what to do. I thought he would leave me forever but he promised me that he loved me and that everything was going to be okay by loading me with clothes, many fancy things and such. I was blinded by money and his great acting and deliciously wondrous tongue many times over to realize that the fuck-face I had fallen head over heals for was cheating on me. And then he left me to be with his brother and paramour in England! Well, that was before he took my virginity with him…

AN: Again just preface and chapters will be longer than four pages. I hate it when people do that…unless it's a preface. Also, I have no idea how to do a line