Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

When Ziva left the hospital where Corporal Damon Werth was still being held she turned to Gibbs, who was in the driver's seat, and spoke, "What will happen to him now Gibbs?"

"Well Ziva, he'll be dishonorably discharged and he'll have to find a job somewhere. It'll be rather difficult as he doesn't have any experience out of the Corps. And he's already undergoing detox from the steroids. He'll be fine."

"He will not get the medal now?"

"That's up to the Corps, Ziva, but I doubt it."

"Just because he voluntarily drugged himself in order to be a Marine does not change the fact that he is a hero, Gibbs. He saved his men."

"Ziva, when you made decisions as a control officer in Mossad did you think about the medals, the honors, the accolades, or did you just do what you had to do to cover your people's sixes?"

"I did what I had to do to keep them all as safe as possible, Gibbs. That is what a good leader does."

"Exactly like Werth. With or without the silver star, he still would've saved Whittney, Stone and Heatherton because that's what being in charge meant."

"I suppose you are right Gibbs. And if he had to do it all over again, I am sure Corporal Werth would still rescue his men."

"It's Semper Fi, Ziva. We don't leave a man behind."

"Courage is simple: you run to the gunfire, not away from it," Ziva quoted Gibbs, smiling slightly.

Back in the NCIS building Ziva sat at her desk, thinking. Tony had said, "You like him." McGee had said, "You really like him." Tony had a broken nose. McGee's shoulder was back in place but it still hurt him. And yet, wrestling with Damon had been exciting. She wasn't easily overpowered and she liked being in control. Fighting Damon had stripped her of control and overpowered her. And yet, it was nice to finally be dominated and to not be invincible. When Damon had seen her eye, really seen it, he had tenderly reached up and barely brushed her brow bone.

"Did I do that?" he asked, looking like a confused, sorry and lost little boy.

"Yes, when we tried to take you into custody. McGee tightening the handcuffs startled you. You put up a fight."

"Agent Gibbs?" he asked worriedly.

"He is fine, Corporal Werth. A bit bruised but he will be fine."

"Agent DiNozzo?"

"You broke his nose."

Damon buried his face in his hands, "God, Officer David, I'm a monster!"

"No, no you are not Corporal. You were out of your mind because the steroids had poisoned your brain and because of the steroids you were not easily overpowered. And now, once the haze of the drugs has lifted, you are sorry. Monsters are not capable of remorse," Ziva had said, placing a comforting hand on Damon's shoulder. Damon shrugged her off and the rejection of comfort stung Ziva.

"But I hurt innocent people Officer David! I should be locked up! Stop letting me off the hook!"

"Shh… hush now, Corporal. If you do not settle down, Dr. De La Casa will not let me stay," Ziva gently squeezed Damon's hand. When he didn't rebuff her, she drew him into a soft hug, slightly rocking him like she used to do with Tali when Tali wanted comfort.

"I hate the hospital. It feels like the brig. What am I gonna do now, Officer David? They won't let me be a Marine anymore. The Corps is my life."

"Maybe you could be a bodyguard or something Corporal. Or try branching out into another career."

"I don't want another career. All I've ever wanted is to be a Marine."

"What do you want for your future, Corporal? A girlfriend? A wife? Children?"

"Yeah, I think I'd like all of that. And maybe a dog too."

"Then go out there and make it happen."

"You make it sound so easy, Officer David. So what about you? What do you want?"

"Some ice cream," Ziva said, evading.

"A tasty future, but not exactly what future plans would be," Damon joked.

His question reminded her of Gibbs. 'Do you want children, Ziva?' 'Well I… there are a lot of factors to consider.' 'It's a simple question, Ziver.' 'I do not have a simple answer.'

"I do not have a simple answer, Corporal."

But now, sitting at her desk, Ziva began to think that maybe it wasn't about having simple answers but rather feelings and to act or not. She sighed and checked her e-mail. There was nothing, just like five minutes ago when she last checked it. She picked up the phone and dialed Bethesda, "Corporal Damon Werth, please."

"I'm sorry ma'am, he was just discharged."

So she thanked the man on the phone and ran Corporal Werth's service records and got his parents address and telephone number. She would try to find Damon in the morning.

"Why are you still here Ziver? Go home. Get some sleep," Gibbs barked at her.

"I could tell you the same thing," Ziva quipped, gathering up her things to leave.

"Oh and Ziver?"

"Yes Gibbs?"

"Your boy got his medal. The bronze star isn't as high an honor as the silver star but hopefully it'll do. Go home, sleep."

"Thank you Gibbs."

The two of them shared a smile before Ziva walked to the elevator and hit the up button to head home.

Once home, Ziva was restless. She needed to settle her mind because all her thoughts kept drifting back to Damon. It was ridiculous she knew. She barely knew the man. She started to make lasagna, hoping that the preparation would take her mind off of the marine. She chopped tomatoes, added in spices, and tomato paste for the sauce. The water boiled, ready for the noodles whenever she was. She had browned beef and sautéed peppers, zucchini, olives, mushrooms, and onions and set them aside. She had drained spinach and mixed it in with the ricotta cheese and grated her own mozzarella and she was still thinking of Damon Werth. She finished making the lasagna, putting it in the fridge and reheating leftovers for a very late dinner.

After eating she washed her dishes and stared around her apartment as though seeing it for the first time. She'd always thought of her life as being closed, she never wanted to worry her partner or have him gain the same haunted look her own mother had when her father was gone on missions. Looking around now, she noticed no space on her bookshelves, no room in her tidy living room for another person. It was the same in the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. She was alone. Usually when she felt this alone, she'd call Tony. He was great at waking up and coming to her place to sleep on the couch. But tonight, tonight she wanted something more permanent than just a man who was willing to sleep on her couch a few times. She sighed and called Gibbs.

"Yeah Gibbs," he answered.

"I am sorry to be calling so late Gibbs."

"Ziva… are you all right?" he asked, shifting from asleep to awake.

"I do not know. I feel… I am alone, Gibbs."

"What brought this on, Ziver?"

"My bookshelf, there is no space for anyone else."

"So buy a new shelf, Ziva. Or I can make you one." He sounded exasperated and Ziva couldn't blame him. After all Gibbs did not like metaphors, he preferred straight talk.

"It is not just the shelf, Gibbs, it is my whole apartment, my life. There is no room," She said, her voice tinged with despair and urgency.

The older man sighed quietly, "Yeah there is Ziva, you're just afraid to rearrange things. Get a storage unit if you have to. Point is, you're ready for your life to be more than just you and that scares the hell out of you. I know I'm right, or you wouldn't have called me in a panic. Figure out how to move things around, Ziva. But first thing, get some sleep. That's an order David. I mean it. Sleep."

"Thank you Gibbs. I will."

She hung up the phone, knowing he was right and knowing that she'd need to shift a lot of things around. But maybe she'd finally found the right man to move things around for. Damon's face flashed in her mind. Ziva shook her head as if to clear it but Damon's image wouldn't leave. She was hopeless, one of those girls who simply fell for some guy because of how he looked. That wasn't her, but that was how she was acting and she didn't like it.

She showered, hoping the hot water would relax her and make her sleepy instead of nervous and on edge. She usually showered in the morning however and now she was keyed up and still thinking of Damon. Annoyed with herself, she cleaned the shower methodically and went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. After two cups of tea and five chapters of her book, she knew that her usual nightly routine wasn't working. She couldn't keep the loneliness and despair at bay. She pushed 6 on her cell phone, knowing it would call Tony.

"'Lo?" Tony answered sleepily.

"Tony, can you come over tonight?"

"Zi? It's… two in the morning. Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Lonely again, Zee-vah?" he asked, teasing her.

"You are awake enough to tease me?"

"Yeah, guess so. Let me get my go bag. Oh, and Ziva?"

"Yes, Tony?"

"You owe me breakfast. Waffles."

"Waffles it is, Tony."

Ziva hung up and made up the couch for Tony. When he came in, he went straight to the couch, muttering something about a 'crazy chick' and pulling the blankets up over himself.

Ziva finally curled up under the covers and slept, lulled to sleep by Tony's snores and breathing from the next room. She felt bad, dragging him out of his bed like this but she knew that if he asked her to, she'd do the same for him.