Written for my best friend Mxya. It's verrrry strange. Random. Crazy. Weird. Pretty funny if I do say so myself. Enjoy!
Once upon a time there lived a small boy. This small boy was not very small, in fact he was quite tall and had lovely abs and other muscles. He was only just still a boy as well, as he was almost eighteen and on his birthday he would become an adult.
This boy was in love with himself. Every time he walked past a mirror he would pause and stare into it dreamily because what he saw was amazingly handsome and wonderful.
One day his mother decided enough was enough. So she called an expensive doctor and had her little boy checked out.
The diagnosis was quite serious. Her son had a bad case of lovameself. It could only be cured by one thing and one thing alone. He needed to meet someone whom he would fall madly in love with and who could distract him from his own wonderful, amazing, stunning and brilliant good looks.
Was it possible to find such a person?
Could it be possible at all?
As it so happens, a week before the boys birthday on which day he would become an adult, he met a wonderful, charming, beautiful young girl who was only two years younger than him. She was bright and had a warm feel about her which could liven up a room and make people happy.
The boy fell madly in love with her.
But she did not love him back.
She too had a case of lovameself which was quite serious, and no matter how hard he tried, the boy could not make her look at him in any other way than as another plain, boring, human being.
It broke the boys heart in two.
He could not bare to live life loving someone who did not love him back.
His heartbreak forced him back to his old ways and when his birthday came, he entered into adulthood with an almost incurable case of lovameself. He believed it would be safer to love himself, as he then knew he loved himself back.
But that girl haunted his dreams and would not leave him alone.
One day when the boy - er, man - turned twenty-five years old, he met the girl again. She had been cured of her lovameself by a strange means which he was unfamiliar with, and he found his own lovameself disappearing as he once again became infatuated by her.
The two fell madly in love and got married.
Who was this man, you ask?
Why, it was Draco Malfoy of course.
And the girl?
My dear, you needn't ask.
You know the answer already.
That girl was you.