Embers
Rating: T, I guess. For whatever. It's just a good go-to rating.
Notes: It's three days away from the 8-year anniversary of my joining this site, so hey, I may as well post something to celebrate being a huge dork. Yes, I know. I KNOW. I'm like, the last person actively shipping Spanny on the planet. They would have made a good couple! You know, if they had been able to date for more than like four episodes. In any case, this takes place after 903. Let's say for the sake of this story that Manny was in town for more than just a few days. That's right, folks, not only is she still shipping Spanny, she's shipping them in SEASON NINE. It's plausible to me… Jane clearly wants to dump Spinner, and Manny seems a little aggressive in her support of that decision. Your minds are blown, I'm sure. Please review. I know everyone asks that, but I mean really. If you take the time to read, what's a few more minutes of your time to let me know what you thought? Thanks.
-o-o-o-
It's strange how it happens: the spark of attraction, the fire of passion, the smoke and ash it leaves behind. Sometimes you wake up, years later, and the memory is so surreal, it feels almost like a dream.
When one fell for Manny Santos, they fell fast and hard. They were lured in first by curved hips and tits, the flip of seductive dark hair that accompanied a daring strut. Her sexuality was magnetic, almost intimidating. And yet with the same breath that she would flirt you into a cloud of arousal, the warmth of the smile across her face would melt the walls around your heart and make you believe in that kind of loaded bull shit that only existed in Matthew McConaughey movies. There was just no fighting that smile-and-hips combo.
And when she opened her mouth, she was funny. She could make you laugh. And when she sat real still for awhile, you could see the scars behind her eyes. She could make you cry. You felt the burning strength buried deep in that misleadingly gentle figure. She was both rock and feather. Sass and confidence alongside vulnerability and delicacy. It was easy to fall in love with her. It had happened to many.
Spinner Mason was one of them. But then, he was always the kind to fall fast and hard. He was a thoughtless tough guy most of the time, bumbling through life, foolhardy and insensitive. But for all of his scatterbrained aggression, he was a young man with a tender heart. When he loved, he loved without reservation. For all of his selfishness, when he chose a girl, he wanted to give her everything. He was always ready to believe that this one was the one. He wanted the kind of loaded bull shit you only found in Matthew McConaughey movies.
Manny had stumbled across that unexpected soft spot in Spinner when she wasn't even looking for it. It was the last thing she needed, and exactly what she needed. Their romance had existed in a clumsy whirlwind, the two of them lost and lust-hungry. She was still reeling from Craig, the heartbreak that would linger over her like a rain cloud for years to come; he was stung with dissatisfaction, always wanting more, pushing his boundaries in search of the sense of self that would not come for several years. It was exactly the right place and the right time for a wrong place, wrong time kind of love.
Launched by a strange accident, they suddenly wanted each other. Their love hurt people, confused people; hurt themselves, confused themselves. They were high on the promise of something new, cushioned in a selfish bubble of I want you I want you I want you. There was wreckage all around them but they didn't care; as whirlwind romances tend to go, all that existed to them was Spinner and Manny. They wanted each other, and that was all that mattered.
But that kind of love isn't a forever kind of love. Like a fire that burns too hot too fast, it dissipated into ash without a single ember left glowing. Manny had one path, and Spinner had another; the flame of their passion was merely an interim before they went their separate ways.
Three years later, their lives were so different it was hard to believe that Spinner and Manny had even been Spinner and Manny. Manny Santos had become such a surreal and elusive person in Spinner's life that on that cold day in January, when he lifted his head from the grimy espresso machine he was repairing, he had to blink for a minute just to soak in her reality. He was amused and baffled by how she could stand there so casually, smiling as bright as a thousand stars, leaning sweetly against the counter at the Dot. As if she hadn't left this place far, far behind her. As if she did this every day. As if this was exactly where she belonged.
Surprise painted Spinner's face as he took her in, grinning from ear to ear. It had been almost a year since he'd seen her, and he had to admit to himself that he'd forgotten just how easily Manny Santos could take the breath out of you. Heartbreak and life and college and Hollywood had only made her beauty richer. He took an almost inappropriate length of time to gaze at her figure: skin-tight jeans tucked into brown leather boots, a simple black-cotton t-shirt that hugged her curves softly, a brown scarf, and a knitted bohemian green cap nestled over those endless raven locks. Her smile was brighter than ever.
"Hey, superstar," he greeted warmly. Her week-long visit from L.A. had been a truly mind-bending experience for him. It was made doubly bizarre by the fact that she and Jane had hit it off instantly, gabbing and giggling all the time like old friends. Manny was such a distant part of his past, a glittering memory of someone he'd been long ago, and suddenly here she was again. Up close and personal alongside his present. "Thought you'd be headed back to the West coast by now."
"Yeah well, the coffee's not as good out there," Manny joked, chewing on her lip ring as she smiled. She sidled up to the counter and took a seat. "Besides, I'm lying low for awhile. My agent's lining up some auditions for next month but I'm in no hurry. A girl needs to take it easy sometimes."
Spinner nodded. "Fair enough. Nice to have you here with us for a little bit, Santos. Can I get you some coffee?"
"Please."
It was just around two in the afternoon, and the diner was empty. A calm in between the lunch crowd and the after-school rush. Manny drummed her painted magenta nails on the countertop and hummed a pop song while Spinner fetched a clean mug and filled it with steaming brown liquid.
Manny nodded a pleasant thank-you as she took the mug in her hands. Spinner couldn't help but grin as he watched, mildly transfixed, as she pursed her lips to form a tiny "o," and blew a cool stream of breath into her drink. He remembered, in a strange and sudden flash, those tender lips and the things they could do. His mind wandered through a string of inappropriate thoughts, some made of fantasy and some of memory, until he felt his cheeks go slightly pink with embarrassment.
"Thanks for taking Jay back, by the way," he said, chuckling a little as he grabbed a towel and started wiping down the counter. It was already clean enough to see yourself in, but Spinner found himself needing something to do. Needing something to distract himself from being overly excited by Manny's presence.
Manny laughed into her coffee, cocking an eyebrow at Spinner and eyeing him with curiosity. "What do you mean?" she asked.
Spinner shrugged, a playful grin still tugging at his lips. It was hard not to smile around her. "I just mean, you know, I've been listening to him whine for months and it was kind of getting old. He tried to act tough about it, but as soon as he had a little whiskey, he turned into a total girl about the whole thing. Manny this, Manny that… I didn't think the guy was ever going to get over you."
Spinner's tone was jovial and friendly, and Manny forced a smile. She remembered all too well those months of drunk texts and late-night phone calls from Jay. Her feelings for Jay had always been intense and passionate, but the circumstances just never fit. It had been hard to be swayed by Jay's incessant longing when she was trying to enjoy her first semester of college, embracing new experiences and new lessons. Even now, as the couple entered a blissful second wind, Manny felt like their relationship was still teetering across a tightrope. It was hard to be so in love with someone you just weren't meant to be with, but that's exactly how Manny felt about Jay. She didn't have the heart to let go, but she knew that their lives were bound to pull them apart again. The looming inevitability left her heart feeling heavy with a perpetual dull ache.
"I can't imagine why," Manny said with a shrug, still pretending to smile. She stared into her mug as she stirred in a trickle of sugar granules.
Spinner reached across the counter and gave her arm a gentle smack. "Come on now, don't play dumb. You're quite the heartbreaker, you know."
Manny looked up, and her smile faded as she examined Spinner's eyes. She knew they were both old enough now to talk about these kinds of things without any lingering awkwardness or hurt feelings, but as she stared at Spinner's content and friendly face, she was mentally slapped with the glaring image of a moment from three years ago. As if it were only yesterday, she remembered his desperate smile as he gazed across the hallway at her, calling her name like it was the only thing he had left. She had met his eyes, too self-righteous and ashamed to form words, and walked away.
Those flames, she now remembered, had burned so hot and bright, but in that moment, the fire was doused completely, buried in ash, like it had never even happened.
"I guess you would know," Manny said softly, her eyes drifting back towards her drink. She chuckled. "Weird, how we like, used to date, right?"
Spinner laughed too, and with only a hint of discomfort. He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah. Go figure."
His eyes softened as he watched the way her dainty index finger traced the rim of her coffee mug. Manny liked his eyes like that, unguarded. Windows into the vulnerable and adorable Spinner she had once taken notice of, suddenly and inexplicably, kind of a long time ago.
"Would it be weird to apologize now?" she asked, shrugging with the hopeless innocence that made so many hearts crumble.
Spinner scratched his head again. "No weirder than us dating in the first place, I guess."
Manny nodded with an ever-widening grin. "Guess so. We just never talk about it, is all. Friends all these years and we never…"
She smacked her lips as her thoughts trailed off and he picked them up again. "Talked about it. Yeah."
An intense silence fell between them. The kind of silence that makes the room feel warmer. The kind of silence that crashes down on you when suddenly, something in the mood has changed. Spinner and Manny couldn't tear their eyes away from each other because overwhelmingly, all at once, memories of Spinner and Manny were flooding their minds. The whirlwind mistake they'd never allowed themselves to admit out loud to one another had been unexpectedly set alight, illuminating feelings they'd long forgotten.
Manny chewed on her lip and Spinner swallowed hard, both of them embarrassed and confused to realize they had stumbled across this moment together. They said nothing out loud but knew, with just a simple glance, what was running through each other's mind. It was an explosion of three-year-old images: playing tag covered in soapy suds, flirtatious smiles and hungry eyes, secret glances around hallway corners and behind locker doors. Kisses that could make your toes tingle, the irresistibly bitter taste of irony on their tongues, peanut butter and banana sandwiches, fearless laughter, foot massages, making out in movie theaters. Sweat, smiles, nervous lip biting, nuzzling, tongue rings, soft whispers against the nape of the neck, pink cotton thongs, Snoopy boxers, first time, second time, on and on and on like it was only yesterday…
Manny cleared her throat. "Um, you know…" she said slowly, taking a brisk swig of her coffee to wake her back up to reality. "Do you think I could get this to-go? I just remembered I'm supposed to be… somewhere."
She most certainly wasn't supposed to be there, with Spinner, thinking how she used to fuck him, thinking how she used to like him. She was supposed to be anywhere but here again. Alone with Spinner had never really been the place she was supposed to be. Not really.
"Sure," Spinner said, slowly. It took an impressive amount of strength to take his eyes off of her. He dumped the contents of her mug into a paper cup and slid it timidly across the counter. "Good seeing you. Again."
Manny smiled nervously. Her pulse was racing. "Yup. Good times. See ya."
She scurried out the door much quicker than necessary, Spinner's eyes lingering on each of her steps. That swagger was all too familiar, and so was that nagging pain in the pit of his stomach as he watched her go. The diner felt somehow colder with her absence.
…
It's strange how it happens. One day, you're settled in your path, eyes glued on the horizon, never thinking twice about roads not taken or unfinished encounters. And then it hits you, a sudden longing; a memory buried in smoke and ash comes to life again. The embers could be glowing softly underneath it all, and it only takes a gentle stoke for a long-extinguished blaze to reignite.
Hours later, after her encounter with an old boyfriend at the Dot, Manny found herself standing outside Spinner's apartment, debating whether or not to knock. She couldn't explain, even to herself, what she was really doing at Spinner's, other than a strange burning that just wouldn't go away.
She had almost completely made up her mind to turn and walk away and pretend the whole thing had never happened, when the door swung open and Spinner stood before her.
"Manny?" he said. His mouth was dry. There was sweat accumulating on his cheeks. He was surprised to see her, but really, he wasn't surprised at all.
Manny grinned sheepishly. Her mouth was dry, too, grasping for words that wouldn't quite come. "Uh, hi, Spin," she mumbled. She wove her fingers together nervously. "I know it's weird, me dropping by like this, I just… Wait. How did you even know I was out here?"
The bewilderment on Spinner's face ebbed and a smile took its place. He let out a low, gentle, chuckle, the kind that had cut through Manny's defenses many times before. "I heard you pacing."
Manny smiled. Spinner smiled wider. Their toes curled nervously as their minds reached for thoughts they knew they shouldn't speak out loud. Their faces reddened as the hot, invisible flames around them grew stronger and higher.
"It's kind of late," Spinner said carefully. He tried to crawl out of the past and back into the present, where he and she were definitely not Spinner and Manny. He tried not to be lured into her eyes. If he got caught in her gaze, it would be that much harder to ignore the feelings lurking inside him. "Shouldn't you be hanging out with Jay?"
"He's working late," Manny answered, watching Spinner intently. She knew he was avoiding her eyes. She knew she should be at Jay's, not Spinner's. And still she couldn't leave his doorstep or tear her eyes away. "Is Jane around?"
Spinner cleared his throat. "Jane's studying with that Declan guy… again." There was a hint of resentment in his voice. His girlfriend's affection was so distant… but Manny's was right in front of him. All over again.
"Well," Manny said. "Could I maybe… come inside?"
Eyes locked. Embers burst into flames. Spinner nodded and Manny walked inside and after that, there were no more words. Behind the closed door it only took moments for their lips to find each other, for their hands to reach for exactly what they wanted. The spark of desire happened as quickly as it once had several years ago, and the fire of passion consumed them entirely.
Outside of their lusty embrace, they both knew there were consequences looming, but in moments like those, you don't care about consequences. They were high on the promise of something that was once beautiful, cushioned in a selfish bubble of I want you I want you I want you.
Manny shoved Spinner hard onto the couch, tumbling on top of him and twisting her legs around him. His fingers twirled and tugged through those unforgettable raven tresses and he pulled her passionate mouth harder against his. He found himself entranced and entangled. All over again.
For a second time, Spinner and Manny found themselves in the right place and at the right time for a wrong place, wrong time kind of love.