Summary:

("How do you tell your friend that you hold the key to his life or death in your utility belt?") A friendship/angst fic with Robin and Superboy. Not slash.

A/N: Hey guys, this is my first fan fiction story ever! Please let me know what you think. Oh, and I had this idea long before watching Auld Acquaintance, so, yea, let's pretend this happened a few months earlier?

Kryptonite

Black Canary stood watching as the team sparred below her. The meta-humans were not using their powers for this exercise and it was clear that Robin and Artemis were excelling in the hand-to-hand combat. She observed as Superboy charged towards Robin, using brute force to bear down on the smaller boy. Robin nimbly jumped out of the way, using Conner's broad back as a personal trampoline to launch himself to safety. Robin let out his signature cackle as Superboy whirled around, annoyed.

"What's the matter Supey?" he teased. "Having trouble keeping up?"

"No," Conner grunted. "I'm just building your ego before I take you down."

Robin snickered. "And here I was taking it easy on you. After all, Megan will have my head if I hurt you."

"Please, the only way you could hurt me is if you had a chunk of kryptonite on you."

Robin froze for a millisecond. Surely the clone didn't know….?

FLASHBACK 7 MONTHS

Raised voices echoed off the walls of the Batcave.

"No Bruce! I'm not taking that!"

"Dick, I know you want to trust your friend. I respect that. But the fact remains: Superboy is a weapon. He's Superman's clone and you need to be able to protect yourself and your team should the need arise."

"The need WON'T arise!"

"Robin-"

"NO! Just because you don't trust anyone doesn't mean I have to do the same. He's my friend. He WON'T hurt us."

"Dick, the first time you met him he broke two of your ribs and cracked and bruised others. He wasn't even using all of his strength. Can you imagine what he's capable of now?"

"That was different! He was under the control of Cadmus then…." Richard trailed off as he realized his foster father had forced him into an indefensible position. Bruce softened slightly as he realized the boy knew he would lose this battle.

"And if Cadmus got control over him again? What happens then?" He paused. "I don't like carrying around Kryptonite either. But you well know I've had to use it on occasion. To protect the world from Superman. And to protect the Man of Steel from himself. If Superboy, ever went rogue, how do you think you would stop him without it?"

Robin sighed heavily. "I know. It just- feels like betrayal." He lifted his chin defiantly. "It is betrayal."

Bruce hesitated. "Please. I know you don't like it. But I would like it even less if anything happened to you." He put his hands on his ward's shoulders, forcing the boy to meet his eyes. "Dick, I can't lose you."

And Richard knew he had no choice. He reluctantly held out his gloved hand for the glowing green rock that could hurt his friend.

PRESENT

Robin snapped back to the present. He knew his lapse had probably gone unnoticed, but he felt like a neon sign glaring 'TRAITOR' was stamped above his mask. But he forced a smirk on his face. "Like I need Kryptonite to bring you down. Bring it, Pretty Boy!"

The slight insult had the desired effect. Superboy charged him again, fists swinging. Robin dodged, spinning around to kick Conner behind the knees. Momentum out of control, Superboy tried to regain his balance, but gravity won. He slammed face first into the ground. "SUPERBOY FAIL" the room announced.

Robin made a show of dusting of his hands to tease the clone, then offered to help the older boy up. Conner shook his head ruefully, almost smiling. "One of these days, you're going to be the one on the floor," he mock-threatened. Robin pretended to shrink away in terror, secretly glad that the clone hadn't noticed his quick trip down Bad Memory Lane.

LATER

Robin was lying on his bed in Mount Justice, moodily eyeing his utility belt. The clone's words from training were echoing over and over in his head. He contemplated the smallest pocket on the end. It was really rather insignificant, he mused, considering the magnitude of its contents. It wasn't an option to disobey Batman, he knew. The Kryptonite had to stay. Besides, even if Superboy never went rogue, his genetic donor could. No, that wasn't the issue. The issue was that Conner didn't know about the deadly chunk of his home planet that Robin always had with him. Dick knew that Superman was aware of the Kryptonite that Batman always carried on him. Conner should be extended the same courtesy. Batman hadn't forbade him from telling Superboy the truth, but Robin could easily guess his thoughts on the matter. And if he was being completely honest with himself- he was scared. He knew the little chunk of rock in his belt could destroy his friendship with the clone. Superboy would (rightly) feel betrayed, and likely would never trust him again. Not to mention the damage it would do to the team dynamic. Even if the others didn't find out about the Kryptonite, they would certainly be able to sense the strain between them. And if they did find out…? Robin shuddered to think of how his teammates would view him if they found out he was keeping this secret. The secret that Kaldur kept about the mole would be nothing compared to how a revelation like this could tear Young Justice apart. They would wonder what he knew of their personal weaknesses (quite a lot, actually) and if he planned to use his knowledge against them. They might decide he was too dangerous to keep on the team and kick him out.

Robin sighed. Okay, they probably wouldn't kick him out. But they would probably find it difficult to work with him for some time. Connor, though- Connor would never forgive him. Robin sighed again, sneaking a look at his clock. To his surprise, it was after midnight. Fine. It looked like he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. The gym it was then. Perhaps the exercise would clear his mind, making his decision easier. Because really, that was the issue. To tell or not to tell. He didn't want to feel like a traitor anymore, but he didn't want to be treated like one either.

Robin was taking his frustration out on a helpless punching bag when he sensed someone enter the room. Knowing the rest of the team was asleep and Red Tornado was not this silent, he dropped into a defensive pose as he faced the intruder. Black Canary stood in the doorway with a slight smirk. "You really were trained by Batman. No one else whaling away on a bag like that would have even noticed me."

"What do you want?"

"I couldn't help but notice you seemed a little 'distracted' during practice this afternoon. Normally I would let it slide, but when it's keeping you up, slugging your anger out- well lets just say I thought you could use a listening ear. Want to talk?" She gestured toward her office.

Robin inwardly cursed himself for being so obvious- if Batman found out, he would definitely get a lecture. Rolling his eyes behind his dark glasses, he followed her up the stairs. Maybe it would be good to get some outside perspective on his turmoil.

"How soundproof is this room?" Robin asked, slightly worried about certain superhearing abilities in the mountain.

Black Canary smiled. "Don't worry; if I screamed at the top of my lungs and Superman was standing right outside the door, he wouldn't hear a thing." Robin settled uneasily into the green seat across from her. "You really do have a chunk of kryptonite." It was a statement, not a question. Robin nodded miserably.

"I just don't know what to do. How do you tell your friend that you hold the key to his life or death in your utility belt?"

"Do you have to tell him?"

"How can I not? How can I?" He stopped. "Batman and Superman are friends, sort of, even though Superman knows about the Kryptonite. Somehow, I don't see Connor being so forgiving. He'd probably hate me if I told him."

"And if you didn't tell him?"

"I'd hate myself. I don't want to be Batman. Don't tell him I said this, but you know the guy has serious trust issues. He's my idol, my hero. But I can't be his doppelganger. I can't keep secrets from everyone like he does."

"Dick." That got his attention, she thought. She almost never used his real name when they weren't in civvies. "Don't fool yourself. Superboy will find out about the Kryptonite. It may be tomorrow, it may be in ten years, but he's going to find out. When he does, he will be furious, no doubt about it. The only thing you might have control over is when he finds out, not how he reacts or who he tells. The question is: Are you ready for it to be now? Is your team ready for this now? Or is it better to wait, let things run their natural course?" Of course, the longer he waits, the more betrayed Superboy will feel, but she isn't going to pressure Robin into telling the clone now. The boy has to approach the situation on his own terms. She can see him struggling, grappling with the heavy loads his narrow shoulders have to bear, and she mentally curses Bruce for saddling his thirteen-year-old protégé with this burden. But the Boy Wonder looks up, and though she can't see his eyes, she can feel the determination radiating off of him.

"You're right. I have known the answer all along; I've just been allowing my personal feelings to cloud my judgment. I have to tell Connor the truth, regardless of the repercussions." He stood up. "I just hope he'll be able to forgive me someday." As he leaves the room, she's tempted to ask if he'll check with Bruce first, but she already knows the answer. After all, the kid's not Batman. He's forging his own path.

The next day, Robin was anxious to get the dreaded conversation over with. Now that he had made up his mind, he was determined to see the finish. However, circumstances were against him. Every time he saw the clone, someone was occupying his time. Megan wanted him to try a new recipe of cookie she'd made, Kaldur was teaching him some calming exercises, and Wally was just underfoot all the time anyways. His anxiety and apprehension ratcheted up a few levels, but he was determined to be cool. He would just have to wait.

It's 7 o'clock before he can get to talk to Conner privately. Kaldur had gone out for a swim, and the girls wanted to watch a chick flick. Wally opted to watch the film (only out of boredom, I swear!) and Robin made a mental note to tease him later. He snuck away and found Connor wrestling with Wolf while Sphere rolled aimlessly in the background. "Connor, may I speak with you a moment?"

"Sure Robin, what's up?"

He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. Just get it over with Dick, he told himself. Like a Band-aid.

"I have a chunk of Kryptonite in my utility belt." The clone's eyes widened. "Batman made me start carrying it a few months ago, just in case. It's just to slow a Kryptonian down, not kill him. I don't want to have it, but I must. You're my friend, and I didn't want to keep it a secret from you any longer." By now, Robin had broken eye contact. As he looked back up, he was not surprised to see the anger in Connor's face. His fists were clenched, and rage was evident in every line of his body. The heart-breaking thing was to see the hurt and betrayal hidden deep within the blue eyes. However surly the clone was on the outside, he still trusted his team to have his back. Robin had broken that trust in the cruelest way possible, and the sharp pain of that knife surely caused him more pain than any fragment of planet. "Connor, I am so, so, sorry. I don't know if you can ever forgive me, but I want you to know that I'll always be-"

"Get out."

"I-"

"GET OUT!"

Robin hung his head and turned to leave. As he reached the cave entrance, he murmured, "No one else on the team knows. It's up to you if you want to tell them." When he entered the cave, he quickly gathered up his gear from his guest room at Mount Justice. He needed to give Connor time to think, and it would be easier on both of them if Robin wasn't around for a few days. Eyes burning (not that he would admit to anyone he was on the verge of tears), he made his way over to the zeta tubes, mumbling an excuse to the team about needing to do some patrols for Batman in Gotham. He knew Wally at least didn't buy the story, but he didn't care. He suddenly felt exhausted and just wanted to crash on his own bed.

Sleep was to be denied him for a while, however. As his molecules reassembled in Gotham, his police scanner kicked in. From the sound of it, it was going to be a long night. The Boy Wonder mentally geared himself up. Regardless of his personal feelings, he had a job to do.

BAM! Connor was furious, and he was taking it out on one of his specially designed punching bags. How could Robin do this to him? He was part of the trio who rescued him from Cadmus. SLAM! Why do that if he just planned to keep his greatest weakness in his back pocket? Connor trusted Robin, considered him as friend. He couldn't understand why he would do this. Robin broke Batman's rules all the time! WHAP! Surely he could break this one too, if he was really his friend. The truth of the matter was, Robin didn't trust him. If he did, he would get rid of that lump of poisonous rock. SMACK! How could he ever trust Robin again? The boy was a valued member of the team, but Connor would never again feel safe around him. Who knew what other secrets the teen was hiding behind his back? CRACK! The bag gave way under the repeated abuse. Connor growled, hurling it into the wall. A familiar whirring caught his attention. The Sphere (newly renamed the Supercycle) was clearly inviting him to go for a ride. "Not in the mood." But the machine didn't give up and he climbed inside. Maybe the outside air would clear his head. He didn't want to think about anything for a while.

A week went by. The team knew something had transpired between Robin and Superboy, but they didn't know what. The Kryptonian was barely approachable, and the hacker was bordering on mopey. The few missions they had been on were nothing short of disastrous. Superboy was more heedless and impulsive than usual, and Robin was off his game, his split-second timing slower and less precise. Wally had tried to talk to Robin, but was politely blown off. The speedster wanted to help his friends, but Connor was intimidating and it was useless to try and get Dick to talk if he didn't want to. Megan baked more than usual, hoping the treats would sweeten the tempers of both teens so they could work together again. Kaldur was deeply worried. If this continued, he may have no choice but to present them with the option of leaving the team so that the remaining members would have peace among themselves. Artemis was perhaps the least affected. She just wished the tension in the atmosphere would go down, although it was nice not to be the source of it for once.

Robin was wavering, trying to split his time equally between Young Justice and Gotham. It wasn't prudent to spend too much time with Batman- the man could read him like a book. If it hadn't been for WayneTech conferences overseas and League business keeping him busy, Robin was sure Bruce would've confronted him by now. As it was, he knew his adoptive father was worried about him; he just hadn't confronted him yet. And Wally was just as concerned for him at Mount Justice. The teen was sorely tempted to confide in the redhead so that he wouldn't be alone, but he held back. It was up to Connor to let anyone else know what was going on. Robin would give him that, at least. So he bit his lip and tried to keep his emotions locked away. His performance on the past few missions had dissatisfied him, so he threw himself into training, pushing harder and harder until he was near collapse.

Connor was gone frequently from the cave, whether Robin was there or not. He would take Wolf for long 'walks', or go for a ride in the Supercycle. He was stewing in his anger, stoking it and trying to rebuild it. Every time he thought of the betrayal, his emotions surged within him, reddening his vision, and hurting his heart. What the teen wouldn't admit, even to himself, was that he was trying to bury the thought that niggled in the back of his mind.

It was ten days since Robin had told Connor his secret. Robin was losing hope that the other boy would ever forgive him, and he was seriously contemplating leaving the team. After all, teams were built on trust, and he had proven to Superboy that he couldn't be trusted. It was clear that the tension was affecting the team, and the problem was only worsening. He heaved a sigh and went to his room. He stopped short when he saw the note on his door, scrawled simply, "We need to talk." His heart leaped, but he checked himself. This conversation would not be any easier than the first, nor was there any indication of it turning out well. The teen adjusted his sunglasses and continued down the hall.

"You're not an easy guy to find, Connor." The clone shifted. He had picked the most difficult route to the top of the mountain to make it difficult on the boy to find him, and the small success had pleased him. At the same time, he realized Robin had considerably toned down his 'ninja skills' as Wally called them. His superhearing had picked up the thirteen-year-old's movements at least five minutes before he materialized. The night breeze ruffled the boys' hair, and for a long moment nothing else was said. Then-

"Would you stop carrying it? If I asked you to?"

Robin sighed. "No. I can't."

The next words out of the clone's mouth surprised him. "Good. I don't want you to."

"What? Why?"

"I'm not stupid Robin. No matter what you might tell yourself, you can't completely trust me. (At this Robin tensed in protest.) Cadmus didn't create me to be a superhero, they created me to be a weapon. To replace Superman if need be. I was raised by mind controlling beasts. I could- I don't know, revert or something. I could never live with myself if I ever hurt one of you."

Robin's stomach lurched as he mentally filled in 'the way you hurt me'. But Connor kept talking, oblivious. "And anyways, what if it's not me that goes rogue? What if it's Superman? You could be snapped like a twig! I guess it makes sense that you should have some protection 'just in case'." He paused. Robin took a breath to speak, but Connor cut him off again. "This doesn't mean I'm over being mad. It still makes me angry when I think about it. But I guess I'm saying I- I trust you. You wouldn't use it unless it was absolutely necessary. Can we work past this?" He held his hand out tentatively for Robin to shake. He was completely unprepared for the hug the Boy Wonder tackled him with.

"I'm so glad to hear you say that, Connor. You're one of my closest friends, and I hated the thought of losing you. I am so sorry about this."

Connor felt a smile grace his lips at the boy's words. Things would work out between them eventually. "You're my friend too, Robin." He felt the teen stiffen against him. Slowly he pulled off his sunglasses. Bright blue eyes stared back up at him.

"My real name is Richard- Dick- Grayson." The clone's eyes widened in shock at this revelation. "I trust you too, Connor."

A/N: I was really pleased with the way this turned out, although I thought the ending was a little shorter/rushed? than I expected. So please, please, please review! Thanks!

Bkw3rm

P.S. Contemplating changing the title to Trust. Thoughts?