My friend and I got this idea a few nights ago, and I wrote it up because she didn't want to. This was originally supposed to be a parody...but it ended up not so parody like. It's still supposed to be a joke, sort of. Therefore, it's probably pretty awkward and cliche in some places, and I apologize. I tried my best to fix it, but it might not have worked so well...on to the story now.

Disclaimer: If I owned PJO, would I be writing on Fanfiction? Exactly. I didn't think so.

"Amber, come ON, stop being such a wimp, okay?" my friend Emma says before diving back into the swimming pool.

"I told you, I don't want to swim!" I retort, after she returns to the surface. She rolls her eyes at me, playfully splashing some water towards me. With a small scream, I jump back, narrowly missing the projectile. My fists clench tight, and without thinking, my feet carry me a few more steps away from the edge of the pool.

Emma stares at me, a look of utter amazement on her face. She's known me for at least three years, and I assumed she'd finally gotten used to this. "You're thirteen years old, Amber, and you won't even walk into the kiddie pool! It only reaches your ankles! You won't die! Seriously, have you even touched water?"

"I take showers. That's water," I reply.

"And I'm guessing they last for a maximum of 30 seconds?" I stick my tongue out at her, and she returns the gesture before continuing. "I knew it. Come on, just dip your toe in the pool. It won't kill you. I promise."

"I…I…" The words I'm looking for can't seem to find their way to my mouth. How can I possibly explain why I'm so scared of water? Heck, even I don't know exactly why! The thought of it just terrifies me…something about it…I shake my head, clearing my mind of the w word.

"Really, are you sure you don't need therapy for this or something?" Emma questions me, "How can anyone be this afraid of water? Don't you need water to live?"

"Look," I answer, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I hate water. It's a miracle you managed to drag me to the pool with you. But I think I'm gonna go now, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, I pick up my bag and leave the building, breathing in the non-chlorinated air outside. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I call my mom to pick me up, and she says she'll be at the YMCA in fifteen minutes or so. Coming here in the first place was absolutely idiotic. I will never get rid of this phobia, no matter what Emma wants to believe.

For as long as I can remember, water just freaked me out. I've never went swimming, never been on a boat, never played in the ocean, despite the constant nagging of my mom and my friends. Especially my mom…she loves the beach. Every summer, she drags me down there and tries to get me into the water, but I sit on the sand as far away as she'll let me. What's the fun in splashing around in salty liquid stuff anyways? In the end, all you'll have is wrinkly fingers and a stinging in your eyes. I'm not missing anything. My mom can try as hard as she wants, but she's not going to change my mind one bit. Water is creepy.

Resting my back on the wall of the building, my fingers drum lightly on the bricks. Bored, I watch the people walking in and out of the main door, all of them carrying swimsuits and towels, some reeking of chlorine. That girl has pretty hair…man, that guy is ripped…I wonder why that guy's walking funny...she needs to pull down her shirt…he looks pretty depressed for some reason…strange, she has wings…

Wait, what?

I look back at the woman who just walked out of the YMCA building, her eyes scanning the perimeter around the door, a…lion tail flicking behind her. Other people on the sidewalk pass right by this…winged lion person, as if she's completely normal. Am I going crazy? Are the chlorine fumes getting to my head? But when the creepy woman's eyes turn and fixate on to me, an angry glare in her eyes, I get the feeling that this isn't in my imagination.

The creature walks towards me, slowly but surely. Should I run? Can I run? When my footsteps quicken, the monster jumps forward, almost hitting me.

It speaks in a low, raspy voice, "Pass the test, and you advance. Fail, and I get to eat you. Are you ready for your test?"

"Um…" I stutter, "N-"

Cutting me off, the monster starts the questioning, "What is the capital of Honduras?"

"Wh-what? I don't…" The monster glares at me, baring its fangs, and I take my best guess. "Um…Honduras…City?" A vicious smile appears on the lion-lady's face, and things are not looking very good for me.

"WRONG!" the creature yells, "Now I get to eat you!" As it lunges out at me, I turn and sprint as far away as I can. Unfortunately, I'm not that fast, and the sharp claws of the monster scrape across my upper right arm. Crud, that really hurts! Blood soaks through my shirt sleeve, the white fabric slowly becoming bright red. The winged lion thing's hand grabs my shoulder, a firm grip, and I collapse to the ground. But suddenly, the pressure of the monster is lifted, and even though it was only a few seconds, breathing feels so much easier.

Glancing up through my layer of black hair, I see the guy from before, the one who was walking weird. A big wooden club is in his hands, and he whacks the monster lady in the head. It disorients the creature for a moment, but only for a short moment. Another whack in the stomach causes the thing to fall back, and the guy turns to face me, almost galloping in my direction.

"Come on!" he tells me, "Follow me!" When I begin to protest, he holds on to my (thankfully uninjured) arm and pulls me up, forcing me to run behind him. As I'm running, I notice a very familiar silver Toyota in the parking lot…MOM!

"Wait! Stop it, whoever you are! That's my mom! She's supposed to be picking me up!" I attempt to yank my arm away from him, when my mom gets out of her car. Her head swivels around, until she finally notices me and the guy holding me back.

My mom yells out, focused on the guy next to me, "Are you…did they find her?" What is she talking about? Apparently, the guy she's talking to understands completely…but no one bothers to explain it to me.

"Yeah, I'll take her to camp. I'll do my best to keep her safe," he answers.

Nodding, Mom yells out again, "Okay. Stay safe, Amber!" With that, the guy tugs on my arm, forcing me to sprint behind him again, the cuts on my arm throbbing. For a guy who walks so awkwardly, he sure can run really fast…I look behind me, back at the silver Toyota. How could my mom be certain that I'd be safe with this guy I don't know? Does she know him? But I trust my mom…I have to, don't I?

Running on to the street, the guy calls for a taxi, and as we climb in, he says, "3.141 Farm Road, Long Island." The taxi driver nods and starts the engine again. Now, with a captive audience, I can get the answers that I really need.

"Alright," I begin, "Who are you? What was that thing that attacked me? Why are we going to Long Island? Does my mom know you? Why does she trust you?" He rubs his temples, as if I'm giving him a headache with the questioning. But seriously, does he really expect me to understand everything that just happened?

"Okay, Amber," he says, "My name is Richard Oak. We're going to Long Island because you'll be safe there. I don't know your mom personally, but she knows that there were people like me watching over you." So he knows my name, too? This is getting a little stalkerish…

"Um," I reply, "But what are you keeping me safe from? Why were you watching over me?"

In a low whisper, he answers, "There are some things I can't mention in…present company. I'll help explain everything once we get to camp." As I'm about to protest as to what "camp" he's talking about, he interrupts. "Remember, I saved your life before, and you know it. It would've killed you if I wasn't there by coincidence."

After this sentence, he rummages in his pockets, pulls out a plastic bag, and hands me a square of…something or another. "Eat this," he instructs, "It'll help the cuts on your arm." Looking down at my blood covered shirt, I shove the square in my mouth. Surprisingly, it tastes exactly like a warm brownie, and it soothes the pain…glancing down again, it looks like…the cut is gone.

"Wh-what did I just eat? How did it-"

"I'll explain later," he snaps. With that, he shuts his mouth, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't plan on saying anymore concerning my confusion. The rest of our taxi ride is in complete silence, and the awkward tension fills the air quite thickly.

The cab stops at a hill with a huge tree at the top, and it looks pretty deserted. The taxi driver seems to notice this too, but Richard hands him a wad of cash and pulls me out of the car. Walking up the hill, Richard looks around warily, as if making sure nothing's going to pop out and attack us (although I'm starting to believe that that might not be an unlikely occurrence). Once we pass an invisible line on the hill, however, he seems to relax his stance.

"Okay," I turn to him and say, "We're at this 'camp' you speak of, I guess. Will you explain everything to me now?"

Sighing, he replies, "I'm really not the best person to explain all of this. Wait a little longer, okay?" He leads me past a semicircle of buildings, each decorated in their own individual way. In the distance, I think I see a lake, where kids are canoeing…I'll definitely be avoiding that. The forest of trees stands tall around us, and we walk by a basketball court where some guys are playing, an archery range, and a climbing wall with…is that lava running down the side? That's a little dangerous, and probably deadly, if you ask me…and yet a few teenagers are racing to the top.

We finally reach a house, a porch stretching out on the front side, where a man in a wheelchair exits out the door. He looks up, and says, "Hello, Richard. I see you've found another?"

Richard nods. "Hey, Chiron, and yeah. This is Amber." I wave, and he continues, "Should I take her in to see the orientation video?"

Chiron, as the wheelchair guy is obviously called, responds, "Of course. Go on in." Richard leads me inside the building, towards a room where a TV is set up, a solid blue color on the screen. He clicks play on the DVD remote, tells me to sit down, and leaves. Well, let's see what this "orientation" is all about.

Hello, new camper! Welcome to Camp Half-Blood! A voice comes from speakers that must be somewhere in the room, and on the screen pops up a picture of the house I'm currently in. We have lots of activities, ranging from archery to canoeing, rock climbing to horseback riding, and more! With each word, a picture of what was mentioned comes on…and I swear, some of those horses had wings.

Now, your biggest question right now must be: why am I here? They got that right. Although you've been told otherwise, what you are about to learn is absolutely true: the ancient Greek stories are real. Their gods and monsters are still around, and very much alive. Two of them are here, as the heads of the camp. First, this is Chiron, the teacher of many previous heroes. I see a picture of the guy in the wheelchair, except…only the top half of him. The bottom half…well, it's a horse's body, which doesn't make any sense…Yes, he is a centaur. You're not imagining things. Um…sure, whatever you want to tell me, bodiless voice.

The other supposedly "mythological" being here is Dionysus, the immortal god of wine, and camp director. You may call him Mr. D, or else he will vaporize you. On the screen came an image of a red-faced man, with obnoxiously curly black hair. He's a god? He doesn't look very godly, to tell the truth.

You are likely to encounter many other Greek creatures during your life, like naiads, tree nymphs, Harpies, various monsters, and satyrs. In fact, you were probably brought here by a satyr: half-man, half-goat. They usually hide their legs, but it's easy to tell that they're satyrs because they sort of limp when they walk, on account of their hooves. Is Richard a satyr? He's half-goat? Okay, I really need to wake up from this dream. I dig my nails into my skin, hoping the pain will snap me out of it. Ouch. No such luck.

And the biggest news we have for you: you are a demigod, proven by the fact that you made it through the camp borders. Much like in the old myths, the gods and goddesses came down to earth and fell in love with mortals. Demigods are the result of such relationships, and monsters are attracted to your scent. You may have already met some monsters, but if not, you most certainly will. Here, at Camp Half-Blood, we will train you to fight these creatures to keep you safe. All of your fellow campers are demigods as well.

Each demigod lives in a cabin dedicated to their godly parent. As you can see, each cabin has their own particular decorations, as respect for the god or goddess. With luck, you will be claimed soon by your parent, but if not, you will reside in the Hermes cabin. They accept everyone, but most other cabins don't allow demigods of other parentage to enter.

If you have any other questions, which you probably do, feel free to ask some of our older campers. They should be happy to help you with anything you may need. We hope you enjoy your stay at Camp Half-Blood! And the screen turns black, leaving me in silence.

Wondering why I didn't have anything to say about that last part? That's because I'm sitting in shock, completely frozen at the crazy stories that these people have decided to believe. Is this some sort of role-playing nerd thing? Because I'm pretty sure that they're all insane. I am not half-god.

"Hey, you're done here. Let's go," a voice says from behind me. Turning around, I see Richard at the door, waiting for me.

"Um," I stammer, "Are you really half-goat? A-a satyr?" He laughs, kind of like…a bleat.

"Yep. Don't worry, I'm not dangerous though," he answers, kicking off his sneaker to reveal…a hoof. This is getting crazy. I've started hallucinating, too. Walking behind him, we go back outside on to the porch, where lots of other campers are now wandering around. Switching activities, maybe? To my right, a guy jogs up to where I'm standing, his blond hair messy and kind of crazy.

"Hey," he says to me, "I'm Adrian. Chiron asked me to show you around. Amber, right?"

"Yeah," Richard replies for me, "I guess I'll see you around, okay?" He waves and walks away, leaving me with Adrian.

"So where do you wanna go first?" he asks, and I shrug. I don't care, as long as we're not going to the lake. At my lack of words, Adrian keeps talking to fill the silence as we walk. "So…um, how do you like it at camp?" I shrug again. "Have you met anyone else?" I shake my head no. "Do you talk at all?"

"Yes, I do," I retaliate, probably harsher than I intended.

"Whoa, no need to bite my neck off. You just weren't talking," he states, hands up as defense, taking a few steps back.

"Look, I'm really sorry," I apologize, "It's just…I don't believe any of this. I'm not half-god. The Greek gods aren't real. That's how life is. The world doesn't work like that." Thunder rumbles overhead, even though it's a completely clear day, without a cloud in the sky. Adrian looks up too, obviously anxious as well.

"I wouldn't talk like that if I was you. The gods get angry pretty easily, and you really don't want to be on their bad side," he explains.

I counter, "But I don't believe in them." Adrian laughs, like I'm being silly and that doesn't matter in the slightest.

"Just because you don't believe it doesn't mean it's not true," he clarifies oh-so-well, "Honestly, it took me at least two weeks to get used to all of this, and I was claimed before I even watched the orientation video. Obviously, the gods had to exist, so I started being a little less skeptic. But really, I know, it's a hard thing to accept."

"I'll say. My mom basically forced me to come here, trusting Richard to get me here. When do I get to go home?"

"Not until you learn how to defend yourself from monster attacks in the real world. And if you're a really powerful demigod, it might be dangerous for you to see your mom again, since you attract a lot of monsters, even if you can fend them all away. I don't get to see my mom much." His tone of voice shows his sadness, but nothing in his bright blue eyes gives that away.

"I'm…sorry. It must suck," I mutter awkwardly, before continuing a little louder, "So…who's your godly parent?"

"Hermes," he confesses, "The god of thieves and travelers. So if you don't get claimed by tonight, you'll be bunking in my cabin. But ever since Percy Jackson made that deal with the gods thirty years ago, they've been good about claiming their kids, at least, by age thirteen."

"That's how old I am."

"Cool, same here," he responds, smiling, "Then it should be soon. No need to worry. In the meantime, how about I show you the lake? It's really pretty-"

"NO!" I practically shriek, causing Adrian to jump back a little. In a normal voice, I continue, "Um, sorry. I just…don't want to go. I…don't really like…water." Telling people of my fear isn't the greatest thing ever, but considering I can't find any other explanation…

Adrian resumes walking slightly closer to me, as if I'm going to freak out again. "Uh, it's okay. No worries. A lot of girls here like it there, for some reason, and I assumed…" As he trails off and stops walking, his focus shifts to right above my head. Other people around us stare too, shocked at the same thing, I guess. Lifting my head and looking above me, a glowing green trident floats in midair, a spinning hologram, before fading away.

"What was that?" I ask Adrian. He stands frozen in shock for a few seconds before registering that I talked.

"Y-you," he sputters out, "You, um, got claimed." My confusion must be evident, because he continues his explanation. "By Poseidon, the god of the sea."

Oh, I can just feel the irony.

The capital of Honduras is Tegucigalpa, if anyone cares. It's obviously not Honduras City.

What did you think of the orientation video? Heh, I wonder why they didn't mention it in TLH...but my version is pretty lame, and I'm sure of that.

I don't know if I want to continue this. What are your thoughts? And all constructive criticism accepted. I know I need it, and I appreciate it. Please review!