I haven't posted a story here since like a year ago...
And now the beloved, heart-warming story of how Peach found out what love was...
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Peach's Quest to Find Out What Love Is
Link sat down on a comfortable soft chair. He opened his book in hand and began to read. After a while, him turning the page was the only thing to break the silence, and then the soundlessness resumed. This was repeated several times. All was quiet.
"BOO." Suddenly Samus, who was inside the chair like it was a costume, lunged out and grabbed link, her head in a hole made in the furniture behind Link's, her arms inside the armrests.
"AAAHH!" Screamed Link in terror, tearing up his book by accident.
"Don't ever. Again. Try to put those prank springing paper snakes in my helmet. Got that?" Samus asked, threatening Link by putting a knife to his neck.
"Ok…?" Link said nervously.
There was a long pause. Samus tried to think of what to do next. Link slowly turned away from her and stared at the wall to make it less awkward, his tension eased up, as he now knew the threat was over with. Samus slowly struggled to get out of the costume, Link then picked up the pages and book. Samus then walked over to the door, feeling every step, making sure she would not trip or anything. Link sat in the hollowed-out chair, torn up book in his lap. Samus stopped and looked back at Link.
There was eye contact among the now awkward silence. Samus pressed her lips together and turned around, she then walked out and closed the door.
Samus took the first step on the stairs and tripped, violently rolled down them, taking out Yoshi, Ike, and Mario. Link continued to stare, until the floor around the chair caved in and landed on a glass table.
Everyone that was downstairs stared at everyone that came downstairs violently. A giant grizzly bear came in. "Easy now… I got this under control…" cautioned Peach to everyone else, "Hey there, sexy…" she walked up to the roaring bear that stood on it's hind legs.
Peach got up on a small ladder and began massaging its shoulders, "Everything's cool…" Then she bit off the top half of its body and ate it. She turned to everyone, "That's hot right?"
No one really cared as it solved the bear problem. "No one really cares as it solved the bear problem," pointed out Luigi.
Marth came seductively up to Peach's ladder, "I care…" Suddenly he tripped over Kirby and rolled down the basement stairs. "AH!" Marth cried in horror as he found that his sword was lodged through him, as he lay sprawled at the bottom, "Ugh… Hi…" Marth tried to pose sexily for Peach at the end of the stairs, while trying to not cough up blood.
"Anyway… how did a bear get in here?" questioned Lucas.
"I know who! It was me!" stated dramatically Daisy, "Oh wait no it wasn't…" Daisy left.
"It was actually me!" stated dramatically Master Hand, bursting through the front doors in a plume of smoke, "That bear was part of my promotion to remind you all the importance of love!"
Aww…" Everyone sighed at the idea, except for Peach who stared like a creepy cold robot.
"What's a love?" Peach asked,
"Gasp! What?" Link gasped, covering his mouth.
"Peach almost understood the point of it, until she ate it."
"Peach! Shame on ye! Ye shall be shamed upon!" accused Lucas, pointing a shaking, tense finger at her.
"That's it! Let's kill off our boredom by lecturing Peach on love; we'll each take turns!" declared Luigi.
"Let's each take turns teaching Peach the meaning of love!" declared Pit. He was more important therefore people actually listened to him.
A great big, grand musical number took place involving the Smashers basically all saying to Peach that they will explain to her what it is.
Pit led Peach out to the courtyard and the two sat down on a bench. "Ok… Peach… Will you marry me?" Pit asked, kneeling in front of Peach and opening a ring box. Pit quickly realized something was wrong, "What happened to the ring?"
"I ate it." Kirby explained, walking by.
"NUEZ!1" screamed Pit, jumping inside of Kirby's mouth after it.
Pit slid past Kirby's throat and entered a seemingly other world. A world full of everything Kirby ever ate.
Pit flew over to an entire castle, but stopped when an army of already eaten, insignificant enemies from multiple Nintendo universes and Bowser and Mewtwo charged out at Pit. As the angel epically fought for his life inside Kirby's stomach, outside Kirby and Peach were staring at each other.
"I'm going to leave now," Peach stated, leaving the courtyard, Pit hacked his way through Kirby's side.
"Peach? Peach? I found it- AAAAAAH!" Pit screamed as he was dragged back inside Kirby by waddle dees.
Ness confronted Peach, "So, I have the perfect plan for teaching you what love is," They entered the home theater room area thing.
As Peach sat down in the sofa Ness took out a tape, "This tape is an educational video, well more like an art film on how love feels."
Ness tried putting it in but they only had a DVD player and Ness ended up getting electrocuted. "More like fart film!" Peach joked and left the room.
Ike stopped Peach in the hall. "Hey it's my turn now… come with me," Ike said, walking her to his room.
"So what are you going to show me or tell me or whatever?" asked Peach inquisitively,
Ike took off his cape, "I'll show you the meaning of my love…" the swordsman replied in a sexy, seductive way.
Ike started to strip.
"Ooh… yeah…" Ike said, taking off his armor, "Do you like that Peach? Peach?" Ike went over and touched Peach's shoulder.
Peach fell over dead.
"AAAAAAAGHG!!!" screamed Ike, panicking.
"Got you!" laughed Peach, getting up and leaving the room.
Peach walked into a door over and over until someone opened it. That someone was Zelda. "What is a love?" Peach asked Zelda.
"Well love is when you care for someone, like with family, close friends, or your soul mate." Zelda said, being the first one besides kind of Ness to actually attempt a logical way in explaining love, "You know? Have you ever known that?"
"Let me help…" Samus said, walking up behind the princesses. "Peach you know what love is now… OR ELSE." Samus said while holding a gun to Peach's head.
Later…
Everyone awaited Peach on the roof of the mansion for some reason, waiting for her response. Peach then came up the stairs and out to greet the crowd.
"Wow only five people in and I understand what the emotion of love is now!" Peach declared excitedly to the other Smashers who then cheered, "… Wait now I forgot."
These words then caused everyone to anime fall in exasperation, slamming themselves into the floor of the roof. Such a simultaneous crash into the roof caused it to cave in and everyone fell through to the level below, which caved in and so on until they reached the basement.
"Oh now I actually get it!" Peach laughed, getting it.
Peach married Lucario and they had sixteen adopted third world children
THE END
Review please?