AN: This is my first multi-chaptered story so please be gentle and review
I rolled over to check what time it was. 3am. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I thought about the reason that led to me being alone and awake in my bed a 3o'clock in the morning.
"I wanna have a baby" I said much more calmly than I actually felt "and I-and I cant talk about lotion or pound cake or anything else….cause I wanna have a baby and you don't" I continued and she lifted her head and her eyes met mine "so….we're gonna talk about it " to which I replied "yeah…we are gonna talk about it" and I accentuated each word carefully to try to get her to see how serious I was about this and we sat there for a while just staring at each other as both of us tried to figure out a way a to start this conversation. I've heard all my life that relationships were about compromise…..well how does anyone compromise in this situation. "I cant have kids Calliope" and as soon as the words left her mouth I scoffed "can't or won't" and I knew the answer just by looking at her, I knew that it was the latter "so this is it huh?" I asked my voice breaking slightly and she looked as if I just shattered her world with those five words but she stood up and her tone matched mine said "I guess so" and with that she left my apartment. I just sat on the bed as she left, feeling like with every step she took different pieces of my heart with her, the heart that she put back together after Erica left and I knew that I wouldn't going to be able to be fixed this time because the only person who could do that just walked out the door and as much as I hurt to say this, I didn't think she was coming back. It had been around half an hour since she left -for some reason I couldn't bring myself to say her name, it was as if saying her name would somehow make this whole thing more real- when I felt something wet hit my arm and it was then that I realized that I'd been crying and it briefly crossed my mind as to how long It'd been since I'd started crying, but only briefly as it returned to the forefront of my mind why I was crying in the first place and I felt a fresh batch of tears sting my eyes and I just curled up and allow the pain to wash over me.
I woke up the next morning and went to the bathroom to get ready for work, I saw myself in the mirror and thought to myself 'I look like shit' but I didn't care, what was the point of dressing up, I mean looking pretty hadn't exactly stopped all my other relationships from crashing and burning so I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair into a messy ponytail and threw on the first thing I found and went to the hospital.
It was lunch time and I was proud of myself, I was doing a good job so far avoiding her and with those thoughts in my head I went into the cafeteria and I immediately regretted it. She was in there talking happily with Dr. Altman. So happily in fact that if I wasn't a part of it I would never have known that she and her girlfriend broke up the night before. But here she was seeming unaffected and smiling and still looked as gorgeous as ever while I looked horrible and puffy-eyed from my night of crying. So before she saw me, I hurriedly left the cafeteria and practically ran to the first empty on-call room I could find and curled up on the miniscule bed and cried my eyes out. And that was how mark found me two hours later as he busted into the room asking "hey have you seen Torres……….." his voice trailed off as he took sight of my appearance, and being my best friend he knew better than to say anything, so he simply climbed in beside me and wrapped his arms around my fragile body as I continued to cry.