A Woman Scorned

Sam Carter is dangerous when angry. SG-1 are a prank force to be reckoned with. Any more would be giving the game away!! Rating for bad, bad words. ; )

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, Sam and Jack would have got together back in season 8, and Janet would never have died.

As usual, PLEASE review! Criticism welcomed!

J - Hey kids . . .

D - Yeah?

T - Yes, O'Neill.

J - What does 'philander' mean?

D - To flirt.

J - Flirt?

D - Yes.

J - You sure?

D - Yes.

J - Okay.

D - Why?

J - No reason. Carter, you there?

D - Sam?

S - Yes.

T - Is everything alright, Major Carter?

S - Yep, everything's fantastic. Fan-bloody-tastic.

J - I sense sarcasm.

D - Are you okay, Sam?

S - I'm fine. You probably shouldn't talk to me right now.

J - Why not?

S - I'm likely to go off on one in a minute. And yell. I really don't want you guys to get in the firing line.

T - Has something transpired, Major Carter?

S - I mean it guys, don't ask.

D - We're just worried about you Sam.

Pause

J - Carter?

S - Okay, if someone had been asking you out for weeks, and then you finally agreed only to find that they only wanted to have sex with you, and didn't even make an effort with the other stuff, and then when you explained to them that you really didn't feel that way about them and had thought they respected you and didn't just want your body they said that was all you were good for, would you be mad?

D - Who was it?

S - Guess.

J - That guy who's been turning on the charm and hitting on you for ages? Tall guy, dark hair . . .

T - Doctor Williams?

S - You got it. The jackass.

J - He really said that to you?

S - Yes. Then he had the nerve to accuse me of leading him on under false pretences, called me a bitch, then yelled at me to get out of his fucking car, leaving me to walk three miles in the pouring fucking rain to get home!!!

J - Carter, don't swear. It doesn't suit you.

D - No, it doesn't. It's not you.

S - I don't bloody care if it fucking suits me or not! I'm pissed off!

T - I have never heard you use so many expletives in one conversation before.

S - Can we please stop fixating on my language???

J - When you calm down and quit swearing, yes.

S - THREE FREAKING MILES, JACK!

J - I got that. You should have called one of us to pick you up.

S - Yeah, cos I wouldn't feel at all stupid doing that!!!

D - We wouldn't think any less of you.

S - I agreed to go out with him. I thought he was nice. He only wanted sex, for crying out loud!

J - Hey, that's my thing.

S - I DON'T BLOODY CARE!!!

J - Carter, stop swearing. That's an order.

S - IN THE FREAKING RAIN!!!

D - You really should have called one of us.

S - I'm going to the gym.

J - Want some company?

S - Want a black eye?

J - See you later.

D - Bye Sam.

T - Do not do yourself an injury. It is easy to be a little too . . . enthusiastic in training when one is angry.

S - Thanks, T, I'll bear that in mind.

D - Sam? You back yet?

S - Yeah.

D - Better now?

S - Much. There's nothing like beating the crap out of a punch bag for letting out rage.

J - Amen to that. Any injuries?

S - Sore knuckles, but I'm sure I'll live.

T - I am glad you are feeling better.

S - So, who wants to help me exact revenge?

J - What do you have in mind?

S - I don't know yet. I'm open to suggestions.

D - You don't want to do anything too rash, cos he'll probably know it's you and he might retaliate.

S - Good point. Any ideas?

J - You need something subtle enough so he suspects it's probably you, but doesn't feel compelled to get you back.

T - I could steal his locker key.

S - Nah, not big enough.

D - Itching powder?

J - Too big. He'll retaliate on that one. How about ink?

S - Ink?

J - Put it somewhere strategic, so he doesn't even notice it's there until he's wiped it all over his face or something.

T - We need to find somewhere to place it where he will expect there to be a damp substance, but will not check.

D - Washcloth?

J - Nah, it'll come off under the tap and he'll notice.

S - Locker door?

J - Possibly. He may notice, though, depending on the colour of the ink.

T - Towel. While he is training, switch his towel for one with ink on it. He will hopefully not notice until after he has wiped his face on it.

S - Nice one, Teal'c! How do we pull it off?

J - Well, I suggest Daniel does it. Doc. Williams won't suspect him, and Danny could go and work out at the same time as him, ask if he can borrow his towel for a moment, and then quickly switch them.

D - What if he catches me?

J - Improvise.

D - Okay.

S - You're really gonna do it?

D - Sure I will. You're family, and he needs to pay.

S - Thanks, guys. This means a lot.

J - No problem, Carter. Teal'c, you're in charge of recon. Find out what colour towel Williams has, and when he goes to the gym. Carter, co-ordinate with T on the towel colour and buy the ink. Daniel, T will tell you when to go to the gym, and I'll practice the switch over with you.

T - Understood. I shall begin at once.

S - Really guys, thanks. This is going to be so hilarious.

J - Hey, I can't wait to see the result.

D - Do you think we should organise an audience?

S - I dunno, we don't want it to be too obvious. I mean, he's going to suspect Daniel soon after realising what's happened, do we want to tempt fate too much?

J - Carter's right. Too much embarrassment might provoke a retaliatory strike.

D - Alright. No audience. Normal corridor traffic.

J - Let's get going.

How will the prank go? Does Sam get her revenge? Find out in chapter 2 – coming soon! Please tell me what you think so far

Beka ;)