One destructive habit of the asari maiden that could have easily been noted, was her lack of sleep. Dark circles curved their way under her eyes, their violet hue making them painfully obvious against her elegant blue skin. The whites of her eyes grew bloodshot from the constant glare of screens, often prone to burning sensations that the asari had a tendency to ignore. She found herself lost in the buzz of voices and words written out on holograms, constantly absorbing and processing information, oblivious to her own basic needs, and to the massive ship around her that creaked in the wake of constant storms. She stood while she worked, usually, too tense to sit, and often times she failed to recognize the swelling of her feet and the aching of her triceps that came with standing for extended periods of time. Only when she could not stay upright any longer would she realize that she needed rest, and reluctantly hauled her sore body away from her database to sleep in a cot in the corner of the room. When she lay on her side, huddled in her thin sheets and staring off into the room in a sleep deprived haze, did she realize just how empty the lair was; the massive room on the ship was much too large for one person.

Any occasion where she attempted to drift off to sleep, the sound produced by the air vents became harsh on her ears, and the various cables running along the floor became reminiscent of serpents preparing to strike. Her thoughts seemed to turn on her as well. Horrible images flashed through her mind's eye, some real, and some produced by her own worry and vivid imagination. The images invaded her dreams - if she were able to sleep deeply enough to have dreams - and she would always awaken in a cold sweat, trembling uncontrollably.

Information has always been an interest of her's, but it had turned into an obsession, a craving, and an escape. The entire galaxy rested in the palm of her hand, easily prone to destruction with the data she possessed. As the Shadow Broker, not one piece of information could slip by her. Whatever she desired to know, she could find out. However, there was one piece of information that eluded her, one that she went back and forth between obsessing over and ignoring completely. It's absence spawned her nightmares and a foreboding sense of guilt.

"When was the last time you've had a proper meal, Liara?"

Liara paused, barely registering Feron's words. "I've been eating nutrient paste," she said, agitated by his presence.

"With all due respect, that's not answering my question."

She tore her gaze away from the collection of screens before her to observe him. While she often had difficulty gauging the moods of other species, Feron's dark, reptilian eyes reflected obvious concern that troubled her; being the object of such an emotion bothered her.

"I don't know," Liara muttered, looking away. "I'm doing fine, Feron. There's no need for you to be worried."

"It's Shepard, isn't it?"

Commander Shepard.

Liara lifted her head to the ceiling and her chest heaved with a deep sigh. Her sapphire eyes closed, and she winced at how her eyelids stung what lay beneath them. "Yes," she whispered.

Despite all of the sources at her fingertips, she could not track the Normandy; it could not be found when it didn't desire to be. She knew the mission its crew had been preparing for, and how their chances of making it out alive were slim. And her lover was at the helm of the chaos, practically throwing herself into carnage and ill fate that any sane being would have the sense to avoid. There had been whispers that the Normandy had already leapt through the relay. Rumors, probably. Liara tried not to think of this as truth. Surely, Shepard would contact her before launching such a suicide mission.

"If anyone can enter the Omega 4 Relay and come back to tell the tale, it's her," Feron murmured, offering what little comfort he could.

"I know. She promised that she would come back to me," Liara swallowed, struggling to keep her emotions in check in front of her colleague.

"Do you trust her word?" Feron asked.

Liara turned to face the drell, and they studied each other, unsure of what the other was feeling in that moment. "I do. But I worry that she made a promise she was incapable of keeping."

"You should get some rest. Everything is running smoothly, but I will wake you if anything happens. If... when, Shepard returns, I do not think she would be happy to see you in your current state. No offense, but you look awful."

Despite herself, the corners of her lips pulled into the faintest of smiles. "That makes me feel so much better about myself, Feron."

Feron simply gave a curt nod of his head, and left the room, his footsteps echoing in the empty space. When she could no longer hear him, Liara sunk down into the chair in front of her many monitors, and rubbed her temples, trying to quell the uneasy thoughts that stirred within her mind.

Over the course of the next few days, Liara had taken Feron's advice, sleeping far more often than she had over the previous weeks. Sleep was not an easy state for her to accomplish, but she managed to get a few hours of rest every night, and they seemed to help, even if she found herself waking with the aftermath of a horrible dream. She still worked furiously, constantly hunting for any reliable information on Shepard, at least, whenever she had the stomach to be hunting for it.

What am I doing?

Liara held her blue fingers poised over the keyboard, gazing blankly at the monitors that flickered in front of her.

Shepard promised she would come back. Surely, she would let you know before starting a suicide mission. Why don't you trust her?

"She died," Liara concluded out loud. "If it happened once... it can happen again. It will happen... at some point in time."

The asari braced herself against the back of her chair while she stood, suddenly feeling weak in the knees. Her eyes stung further as tears spilled onto her cheeks.

"Stop crying," she scolded herself, wiping the moisture away with the palm of her hand.

Stop it.

She was unable to speak as a sob choked her voice, and she stood trembling in front of her computers, unable to quell the flow of tears.

"You have a visitor, Shadow Broker."

Liara stirred in her chair, realizing then that she had been dozing off. How long was I out? She glanced up at the monitors before her, and her eyes settled on a time, and gained a sinking feeling in her gut when she realized that she had been asleep for nearly nine hours.

Glyph hovered next to her, a bit too close for her taste. "Should I let them in, Shadow Broker?" asked the VI.

"Go right ahead, Glyph," she told it, and it hovered off towards the door. "Probably just forgot that Feron isn't a guest. Stupid machines..."

"Welcome, Shadow Broker!" the VI announced as the door opened, and Liara shook her head, amused at how the naming glitch had yet to be fixed...

And then she froze.

A woman entered the room, dressed in light armor that had been colored a rich shade of red, which contrasted beautifully with her shoulder length black hair and light complexion. She squinted her gray eyes in the dim light, fixing them on the asari, and her lips pulled back in a grin that reflected the purest moment of joy and relief. Liara's heart fluttered as she stood, and her legs seemed to root themselves to the floor, discouraging any ideas of walking.

"Sh-Shepard!" Liara stammered, as the commander trotted up to her. The human didn't say anything and, instead, threw her arms around her lover in a tight embrace, one of warmth and comfort, despite the armor that lay between them. When their embrace ended, Liara cupped Jackie Shepard's face with both hands, studying her closely. "Your scars have healed. And you don't have any new ones," she observed.

Jackie's grin grew wider at her words, showing off her white teeth. "Dr. Chakwas was right. If you're not a complete ass, these things heal faster."

The asari chuckled, and leaned forward, brushing her lips against her lover's, and they joined in a much needed kiss that seemed to reflect every ounce of need they had for each other during the time they spent apart. When it ended, they remained close, both of them reluctant to let the other wander out of reach.

Suddenly, another, more unwelcome emotion flared up within Liara, and she pulled away, turning her back on Jackie and pacing away a few steps. The commander remained where she stood, watching her with worry and suspicion.

"You... you stayed out of contact for so long. Which would have been fine, I suppose, but I heard... rumors. They can't be true, can they?" Liara mumbled, more to herself than to Shepard.

"Rumors? You can do better than that, can't you?"

Liara shook her head, and changed course, pacing along the railing of her massive computer. "Cerberus does an excellent job of hiding your whereabouts, and the Normandy itself can't be spotted, unless Joker wants it to be, I assume. So, rumors are all I've heard about you... since the last time I saw you. Tell me, could these rumors be true?"

"It depends on what rumors you've heard. I'm sure there's an equal mix of fact and fiction," Shepard replied, closing the few steps of distance between them and taking Liara by the wrist. The asari paused for a moment, before easing out of the other woman's grasp.

She fixed her gaze on the ground, feeling uncomfortable at the thought of sharing her concerns. Perhaps they were just that, concerns, and had no shred of validity to them. "I heard you... leapt through the Omega 4 Relay. Already. Without telling me."

A brief moment of pause stretched between them, before Jackie slide a finger underneath Liara's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "I did, Liara. And I came back to you, just as I promised."

Liara's face flushed a deeper shade of blue, and she shoved Jackie away as frustration and hurt surged through her. "You... left without telling me," she said, her voice thick with bitterness.

"And I came back," Shepard repeated. "You had enough on your plate as it was, I didn't want to worry you."

"Do you think I'm a child, Shepard?" Liara's soft voice cracked as she raised it. "Do you think I'll melt into a puddle on the floor if you tell me you're going into combat? If we're going to make this work I... I need to know these things! Just because I don't fight alongside you anymore, doesn't mean I don't care about what you do. I've been such a mess these past weeks. I heard rumors that your ship was attacked and... and... I worried that you were dead, again." The asari panted, feeling more at ease after releasing some of her built-up tension, but trembled, her legs shaking visibly beneath her. "And since you obviously aren't... I'm starting to think that you didn't care. About us."

Jackie sighed and rubbed the back of her neck, not quite sure what to say, sorting through the thoughts and emotions that raced within her, trying to find something to hold onto. This wasn't at all like Liara; she was normally so calm, so level headed. "You're not being fair, Liara," she said, slowly. "I can understand that this hurt you, but... a lot happened. My crew needed me to be strong for them. I knew that as soon as I heard your voice again I... I wouldn't be able to leave you."

"That's... convenient," Liara spat, not quite letting go of her ill feelings.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you," Jackie tried to continue, but Liara waved a hand in the air to silence her.

"No, I think you don't have any idea. Do you know what it was like for me? Two years, Shepard. Two long years of uncertainty and fear... fear that you would never come back to me. Fear that Cerberus was lying to me. It was hardly any time for you at all," Liara panted, her hands clenched into fists. "And yet, after what I've done for you, you leave without telling me anything. I'm not a selfish person, but I think I deserve better than that."

The commander remained still, and watched Liara with a soft gaze. "I didn't think that it would matter this much."

"It does. I want to know when you're leaving for something that dangerous. Not hearing anything is... worse than knowing when you're in danger."

With tender caution, Jackie moved forward once more, gently gripping the asari's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. "I'm sorry, alright? I thought it would be the best for both of us if I didn't tell you what was going on. Clearly, I was wrong. But I just want you to know that, when the Normandy was on its way to the relay, all I could do was sit in my cabin and stare at your picture. I wanted to contact you... to tell you what was going on but, I just didn't have the strength to."

The asari took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm sorry too, Shepard. I haven't been myself lately, and I overreacted."

"Is there any way I can make it up to you?" Jackie asked, releasing her grip on Liara, relieved that the situation had begun to mend itself.

"Tell me everything. Every little detail, and don't skimp on anything," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well, I was going to invite you back to the Normandy for a meal, so we can catch up. We can talk about it there. No offense, but I really hate this place. I'd rather not be here any longer than I have to be."

Liara looked around the dark, empty room, and shook her head. "I hate it too."

"How do you even stand it?" Jackie wrinkled her nose in disgust as she scanned it, taking in the darkness and the general feelings of discomfort.

"I tell myself that I'm making small sacrifices for the greater good," Liara smiled faintly. "Dinner sounds lovely, Shepard."

Jackie nodded, returning her smile. "You know where to find me, when you're ready."

The asari watched her as she turned to leave, studying her firm, confident stride and the way she carried her body. Had her life turned out any differently, she could have never imagined herself being the subject of interest of someone so powerful, so sure of themselves; nor could she have ever imagined herself falling for someone who was so brutal when pushed into a corner, who could kill so easily and with such precision, and made a living off of doing so. Past memories surfaced, reminders of how her body was capable of such strength, yet it was so vulnerable at the same time. She let these thoughts roam freely when Jackie was out of sight, and worried, briefly, if she had anything suitable to wear.