Chapter 1: Broken Rose

Rose Pov

March 23. Today wasn't just any regular day in Forks, today was thee day. Senior year was coming around and it was a nice warm day in Forks which is usually unlikely, but I wasn't complaining. As I said today was thee day that I met Emmett which is the love of my life and today marks our fourth anniversary. I know people say were too young to know what love is, but I was convinced me and Emmett were forever. I was practically bouncing in my seat with excitement. I know Em was just as excited as I was. Even though he was big he had a heart of gold and that made me fall for him more.

All during class I couldn't pay attention and I could clearly tell the teacher was getting annoyed but I didn't care. As soon as the bell rang I collected me books and weaved my way through the crowd of people. As soon as I was free I rushed up to Emmett's locker, but was shocked at what I found. Instead Of him being all cheery and waiting to pepper me with kisses I found the exact opposite.

Em was crouched over his locker clutching a little white envelop with his name on it and a stamp that I didn't recognize and he had a single tear running down his cheek. Something about this was seriously wrong. Throughout our whole relationship I've never seen Em cry because there wasn't a moment in time when we weren't happy. The sight before me nearly broke my heart and I wanted to comfort him. And that's exactly what I did.

"Em, baby what's wrong" He must have jumped three feet in the air because he obviously didn't see me. I placed a hand on his shoulder to come him down and his head snapped up to look directly at me. Fear was written all over his face and was evident in his gorgeous brown eyes.

"Um…..nothing, Rosie" he quickly dried the tear that was on his cheek and tried to stash the tiny white envelope back into his locker, but not before I caught it.

"Em what is this?" I asked seriously. Whatever has gotten Em so upset then I demanded to know. I waved the envelope in his face and he quickly caught it and stuffed in his jacket with me protesting the whole time. I can't believe he was hiding something from me. I couldn't bear the thought of losing him. He was everything to me. I dream of him every night and he is the first thought in my mind when I wake up. I loved him. At one point in time I was afraid to admit it because it scared me, but he had me heart and I wanted to be with him, only him.

"Um ……..it's part of your surprise. Happy Anniversary, Babe." He then grabbed me by my waist and pulled me in for a passionate kiss. All coherent thoughts were at lost from there. What this man can do to me! Even though I was mad at him his kisses could make you forget everything. His tongue swept across my bottom lip begging for entrance which I gladly accessed and our tongues battled. I moaned into his mouth which caused him to grip me tighter and push me up against on one of the lockers. My hands came up and one locked around his neck and the other twisted into his beautiful brown curls. This kiss wasn't like any other it was as if he was kissing me for the last time and it kinda scared me.

Eventually we came up for air and he rested his forehead against mine and smiled. I thought I was never going to get tired of his kisses.

"Come on babe were gonna be late for lunch" he grabbed my hand and led me into the cafeteria and spotted our usual group chatting away. Em grabbed lunch while I just took water and we took our usual seats. Me beside Em and Alice. I really considered Alice a sister even thought she was Em's. She had a heart of gold and made my baby twin brother really happy. She was the one who set me and Em up.

"Rose! How did today go? Anything special!" she squealed jumping up and down on her seat. Sometimes I didn't know how my brother could handle her. She was too happy for my taste.

"Are you guys doing anything speci-"Alice was cut off when Emmett shot her a glance sideways and I noticed his expression is the one I saw at his locker. It must have been pretty bad if Alice had to stop her sentence. Alice shook her head as if not believing something and she looked to her other brother Edward for help as if willing him to say it was not true. What was not true, I w totally did not know, but I was sure as hell going to find out. Edward just nodded his head as if signalling that it was true, and then Alice totally and completely lost it. She broke down.

She shook her head back and forth while tears rolled down her cheeks and she almost started sobbing. Everyone at the table was quiet. This was so unusual of Alice. I was just about to comfort her when Alice pushed her chair back and stood from the table drying her cheeks. Just before she turned to leave our table she shot me a look so horrible that I went rigid in my seat. The look on her face was like she felt sorry for me. Sorrow and despair were clearly written in her features and I had no idea as to why she was giving me that look. Another thing I needed to find out. And with one final look she left our table.

Jasper looked at the door in which his girlfriend just excited, sighed, and stood up. That's the great thing about him. He was always there for her. He picked up there uneaten lunch and threw them in the nearest garbage can and left the same way Alice did.

"What the hell just happened?" exclaimed Bella. That's the thing I loved about the girl. She said what was on her mind and was very smart for her age.

"No idea, but I'm going to go find out" I started to stand up, but not before Emmett pulled me down to sit in my seat once more.

"No Rose, let her go. Jazz has her and she'll be fine. Let's go." Emmett jumped to his feet and reached out a hand to help me up, but I stayed in my seat. I wanted to know what was going on right now!

"But-"

"Please, Rose. You wanted to know what is going on well I'm gonna tell you, so let's go" Em again reached for my hand again and this time I took it gladly pleased that he was finally going to explain things.

"Okay" We quickly made our way across the cafeteria to the exit and threw our untouched lunch in the same garbage as Jazz. Before we left I quickly glanced back to see if Bella and Edward were okay and what I saw shocked me. Edward was on the verge of tears like Alice and Bella was trying to comfort him. Seriously what was wrong with these Cullen's today. And on my anniversary of all days.

As soon as we were outside me and Em hopped into his jeep and in less than a minute we were speeding out of the school parking lot. I was confused where was Emmett going?

"Emmett where are you going?"

"Home" was his simple answer. I didn't ask any more questions on the ride to his house. He simply grabbed my hand and placed it on his thigh and every so often would kiss my knuckles causing my heart to swell with love.

In less than 10 minutes we arrived at his house. I loved his house. It had a beautiful front lawn with a big oak tree of to the right were Em and Edward built there tree house. We would spend ours up there just watching the stars, just me and Emmett. The house itself was creamy white with vines over the roof and walls. It had beautiful bay windows and a big oak door. Esme really outdid herself.

Emmett went around the side of the jeep helped me out and we walked hand in hand through his lawn to the front door where he unlocked it and ushered me in his room where he carefully closed the door behind him.

Emmett room was had baby blue walls the colour of the ocean and he had a big king size bed because let's face it Emmett was a big boy. His shelves were filled with trophies from different sports and his walls were covered with pictures of family, friends, and most importantly me and him.

Em padded over to his bed and patted the spot next to him where I reluctantly sat. He turned to me and his face showed so much pain that all I wanted to do was hold him and tell him it was going to be okay, but I wanted to know what he had to say first. He took my hands in his and squeezed tight, sighed, and began.

"First Rose you know that I love you, no matter what. You know that I would never hurt you or separate us in anyway, right?"

"Emmett you're scaring me" He honestly was.

"But you do know that don't you rose?" He was pleading with me now and I knew he was right. Emmett would never do those things. I knew he wouldn't so why was he bringing this up now?

"Of course Emmett"

He sighed and I saw fresh tears pooling in his brown eyes. The truth was coming out and it was honestly scaring me.

"Well that letter today you saw me holding was a letter from the military. I got accepted to join the army, Rose."

I froze. No this was not happening. I was in denial and I didn't give a damn. Em was supposed to stay here with me not run off and get killed. Why me? I had no clue. I was in love and this wonderful man was going to get himself killed and may never come back to me. I could not just accept it though. My only question was why? I immediately ripped my hands from his and jumped off the bed walking backwards to the door. I needed to be away from him, but first I have some questions for him.

".No. Em you said you weren't going to go. We were supposed to go to college, get married, have a good career, start with a family, and grow old together. But how can we do that when you're off killing yourself, Emmett?"

He tried to reach for me but I slapped his hand away and stepped farther away. He sighed and dropped his hands. He looked up and his face was miserable, like he didn't have a choice. His face was full of tears mirroring mine and all I wanted was to comfort him, but I couldn't do that. A bigger part of my heart was mad and I was following its lead.

"Please Rose I didn't want to go but my dad kept pressuring me and said it was good for my future. I was just keeping my options open, but the moment I mailed the letter away I realized I was making the biggest mistake of me life, and God I'm so sorry but I didn't think I was going to get in, but Rose please tell me we can work it out and be together because I love you. I don't want to loose you."

He said it all in a rush as if he had to get it off his chest and it made me dizzy, but I stood my ground. I loved him too but he had to love me more than this job. I didn't like being put second. Never have never did.

"No Emmett how could we possibly be us when you're off trying to get yourself killed. I can't believe you chose your future over me. If you love me you won't go."

I really hope he was reconsidering his decision because I didn't know what I would do if I lost him and I hope he knew how much I needed him because if he left then I would fall apart. I was sure of it and I don't know if I ever would get stitched up again.

"Please don't make me choose. Besides I can't say no now it's too late. Please don't leave me. I need you, Rose."

I knew this was breaking his heart as it was breaking mine, but it was his fault and I didn't think I could forgive him unless he stayed here with me.

"Please don't leave me Emmett. I need you here with me and if you can't then were over." My voice broke on the last word because I thought it was a word I would never have to say to him because I thought me and him were forever, but boy was I wrong.

He got up off the bed and slowly approached me as if being cautious this time, but I didn't move because I really thought he was going to spin me around saying he realized I was more important. I was only praying.

"Rosalie I love you" a smile spread across my face "but I just gotta go" and then it disappeared. I completely lost it. He didn't want me. Well I wasn't just going to stand here and take it, so I acted on impulse. With the back of my hand I slapped him across the face causing him to stumble backwards and then I said the words I thought I'd never say.

"I hate you. Leave me alone Emmett, Forever. I never want to see you again." And with that I ran out of his room and out of his house. I ran away from my only love, the life I always wanted, and the family I loved unconditionally.

I could barely hear Emmett shouting my name. I just ran………

"NO, NO, NO" I screamed while I thrashed around my bed unconditionally. It's just a dream, Rose I reminded myself gently as I focused on keeping my breathing even. In and out. Once I got my breathing under control along with my heart rate I glanced over at my alarm clock on my nightstand it read 5:20 a.m. Great just great my shift was in two hours and I got absolutely no sleep. I quickly reached behind my pillow and got the extra tissues I kept every night and dried my tear streaked cheeks. That's right every fucking night for the past 3 years I have the same horrible nightmare. You would think that after 3 years it would stop and I would be able to repair the ache in my heart, but no every night that nightmare haunts me and that big ache in my chest grows bigger because of him.

Once again just thinking about these things caused me to start sobbing all over again. Get a hold of yourself, Rose! Suddenly I felt an arm around my waist which caused me to gasp.

I looked over at Felix with a sigh as I watched him snore softly. Oh, Felix. He really was great and I he helped me most when I thought no one else could. He was always there for me even when I didn't deserve him and he always knew if I was having a good or bad day. I did love him, but he didn't make me feel the he did because he's not him.

My Emmett.

No just Emmett.

No rose he's not your Emmett he's probably in love with another woman who could make him happy and has pretty babies while I suffered and was broken from the decision he made and I don't ever think he will ever know how much he took from me. When I lost him that was bad but I didn't just loose him I lost a whole future and a family. But the thing that scares me the most is that I know he's happy but will I ever be? Will I ever move on and be happy because right now I don't find myself happy. I don't think he knows how much I lost on that one dreadful day.

Thinking of this made me realize how much I took advantage of Felix when he was possibly the best thing that has happen to me but Emmett was everything to me and I guess still is because I never have really forgotten him.

I continued to sob as these thoughts overwhelmed me and I felt Felix snore loudly because of me crying. I didn't want to wake him up so instead I removed his arm from my waist after a few tries and finally wiggled free. Then I padded my way into the bathroom.

I turned on the light and faced my self in the mirror and what I saw was most surprising. I've seen this face for three years now and I was embracing it. I can't even remember what I used to look like.

I, Rosalie Lillian Hale was a mess. My pale blond hair was practically a haystack and my eyes were bulging out so much it was sickening. They were red and swollen and had deep purple bangs under them. My cheeks were tear streaked blotchy. It really looked like all the life was drained out of me.

I knew I couldn't go to work like this so I quickly turned the tap on and splashed my face with ice cold water a couple of times to wash away the nightmares.

Just as I opened my drawer to get a towel to dry my face something shiny shoved in the back caught my eye. I pulled out a towel, dried my face, and then reached in the back to pull it out.

I gasped in shock as I saw what it was.

My Blade.

I smile spread across my face as I remembered what I used to do with it. This has been one of my loyal friends throughout this heartbreak and when therapy and counselling didn't work out I resorted to this. Cutting myself was the only way to get through the pain of losing him.

I stopped about a few months ago because everybody was getting suspicious as to why I was wearing long sleeve shirts in the middle of the summer. Of course Felix knew with the blood carpets and shirts when he did the laundry. It really started to stress and make him unhappy so I convinced myself to hide the blade so I wouldn't be able to se it and let it tempt me. But right now at this moment I needed it.

I sat on the toilet seat and held the blade to my right wrist. I slashed it across and was welcomed by the numb sensation it always left.

I let the blood run freely out of my wrist. I let it wash out all thoughts of him and the past three years of my life. I let it wash out my sorrow, fear, regret, and guiltiness. Most of all I let it wash out the old Rosalie. The one who was care free and in love. I can't help but wonder was and if I still had some part of her left in me.

Eventually when the bleeding subsided I pulled myself up and held the soaked towel to my wounded wrist. I reached up and pulled out the bandages from the cabinet. I put one my wrist so I could try and hide it from Felix an put the blade in its rightful place. I never knew if I was going to use it again so I had to make sure it was safe. I hid it behind the towels and shoved it as far as it would go.

I padded into the bedroom and threw the bloody towel into the hamper. I'd have to wash it tomorrow.

I crawled back into bed curling up one my side and resting my sliced up wrist on the soft fluffy pillow.

I was exhausted with the events of tonight and knew I had to wake up in a few hours, so when I felt sleep take over me I welcomed it openly.

Ok if u read this please review!

If u do I will write more

Ally